OAK PARK — A woman assaulted on the CTA Blue Line in Oak Park last week told police another passenger struck her in the face with a sock filled with human excrement.

“He had a sock full of his poop on me,” said the 21-year-old college student. “It was everywhere; on my face, my hair, my clothes.”

She said she screamed and tried to follow him, along with another witness, but the attacker escaped up the Austin Boulevard exit and ran northbound on Austin.

Usually you have to take the Red Line to 35th to get shitty socks.

Well, that just stinks.

How did she know it was his poop?

I'm trying to figure out how one can poop into a sock with any degree of accuracy. I mean, I know I'm a dirigible, but I've got no idea what things look like back there, so unless this guy's really, really flexible (like Ocean's Eleven "greaseman" flexible), there's gotta be a series of mirrors like 'Enter the Dragon', and I know that in school I had a hard time moving transparancies the right way on an overhead projector.


... really, what did you expect for a post of mine in a thread like this anyway ... it's your own fault for reading it ...

you shit on the floor, pick it up and put it in the sock. I do it all the time.

Open the door, shit on the floor, everybody do the dinosaur ....

Open the door, shit on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur ....