redskingreg wrote:
That's a long haiku, RPB.
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| One of my neighbors https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=75&t=86330 |
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| Author: | Chus [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | One of my neighbors |
Quick backstory. This woman apparently has no friends or hobbies, because she is always getting involved in other people's business. She never has a kind word to say about anybody, especially our black and Mexican neighbors. This guy is a gangbanger. That guy is a drug dealer. Their house is in foreclosure. Blah blah blah. We live on a corner lot. About six months ago, my truck was legally parked on the street, in the last spot before the intersection. My wife was working from home, and noticed this woman and a cop standing in the street behind my truck. She actually had a tape measure in her hand, and was measuring how far from the intersection my truck was. The cop didn't cite me for anything, so it was obviously legally parked. Caller Bob. Fast forward to the present. We have new neighbors in the house next to us. They are about our age, and have a daughter a few months older than our older son, and we have become friendly with them. They recently went on vacation, and asked us to grab their mail. Every day, I grabbed their mail, and put it in a grocery bag. When they came home, I gave them the bag of mail. They were expecting to receive a check, but it wasn't in the bag. The next day, the Caller Bob neighbor knocks on their door, with the check. Not the envelope it came in, but the check. She claimed that the letter was in her mailbox, and she opened it accidentally. She almost created a very uncomfortable situation for me. What a bitch. |
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| Author: | Frank Coztansa [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Is her name Joan? |
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| Author: | badrogue17 [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
She may be a rotten bitch but shit Chus I've opened mail without looking at the envelope only to find out it was my neighbors.I would think that's a fairly common occurrence. |
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| Author: | Chus [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
badrogue17 wrote: She may be a rotten bitch but shit Chus I've opened mail without looking at the envelope only to find out it was my neighbors.I would think that's a fairly common occurrence. I would give the benefit of the doubt to just about anybody else. I could spend all day telling you the shit she pulls. When our new neighbors were in the beginning stages of having work done on the house, they didn't have the permit in the window yet. She actually went to their house, and said, "it would be a shame if somebody called the city on you". The next day, somebody from the city was poking around. A few days later, she actually took it upon herself, to throw a bunch of yard waste in their dumpster. She is a fucking psycho. |
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| Author: | rogers park bryan [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
You know, if you want to get back at your neighbor, you should rob her house. Tomorrow's Saturday, she'll be at the market. There'll be no one in there. Just go in and rob the place blind. lt'll work, l promise you. |
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| Author: | redskingreg [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
That's a long haiku, RPB. |
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| Author: | Furious Styles [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Chus wrote: This guy is a gangbanger. I warned you about the teardrop tattoo under your eye. |
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| Author: | rogers park bryan [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
redskingreg wrote: That's a long haiku, RPB.
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| Author: | Chus [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Furious Styles wrote: Chus wrote: This guy is a gangbanger. I warned you about the teardrop tattoo under your eye. I have to keep it real. |
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| Author: | Tad Queasy [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Chus wrote: We live on a corner lot. About six months ago, my truck was legally parked on the street, in the last spot before the intersection. My wife was working from home, and noticed this woman and a cop standing in the street behind my truck. She actually had a tape measure in her hand, and was measuring how far from the intersection my truck was. The cop didn't cite me for anything, so it was obviously legally parked. Caller Bob. Chus wrote: When our new neighbors were in the beginning stages of having work done on the house, they didn't have the permit in the window yet. She actually went to their house, and said, "it would be a shame if somebody called the city on you". The next day, somebody from the city was poking around. A few days later, she actually took it upon herself, to throw a bunch of yard waste in their dumpster. She is a fucking psycho. Do they make male Real Dolls? Maybe the neighbors can chip in and buy her one so she'll have something to keep her company. Or maybe buy her one of those mechanical fucking machines. Or maybe send SHARK over there. |
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| Author: | Chus [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Q.Bovifs wrote: Organize a neighborhood meeting to discuss her antics. Invite everyone but her - via flyers on doorknobs. - I bet she shows up. Then let her have it -"Intervention-style". One of our neighbors threw a 4th of July party a couple years ago. He invited everybody but them. She called the cops at 3:00 PM, because the music was too loud. |
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| Author: | Bagels [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Chus wrote: She called the cops at 3:00 PM, because the music was too loud. probably the mother of my neighbors |
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| Author: | redskingreg [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
You should spike her Tab with Drano. |
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| Author: | Bagels [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
redskingreg wrote: You should spike her Tab with Drano. they still make Tab ? Tab: we still use saccharin ! |
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| Author: | Chus [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
redskingreg wrote: You should spike her Tab with Drano. Spell Caller Bob in her lawn with some gasoline. |
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| Author: | redskingreg [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Bagels wrote: redskingreg wrote: You should spike her Tab with Drano. they still make Tab ? Tab: we still use saccharin ! Just quoting the cult cinema classic, Adventures in Babysitting. |
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| Author: | Krazy Ivan [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
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| Author: | Hawg Ass [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Krazy Ivan wrote: :x  I love this meme |
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| Author: | FavreFan [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Ok, I was waiting for SomeGuy, but I guess he's ignoring this thread. Seems like there's an obvious solution here. Cut her fucking head off. |
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| Author: | Furious Styles [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:40 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
FavreFan wrote: Ok, I was waiting for SomeGuy, but I guess he's ignoring this thread. Seems like there's an obvious solution here. Cut her fucking head off. He's busy trolling Ike's thread.
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| Author: | NearWessSideHussra [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Suburbanites bitching about their fellow suburbanites' behavior is like a guy in hell complaining about the heat. |
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| Author: | redskingreg [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
NearWessSideHussra wrote: Suburbanites bitching about their fellow suburbanites' behavior is like a guy in hell complaining about the heat. Good point. City dwellers never have issues with their neighbors. |
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| Author: | spanky [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Knowing this board, I'm guessing we could have a least 30 guys taking a dump in this broad's lawn by tonight. I mean, if you wanted something like that. |
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| Author: | Furious Styles [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
30 guys, 1 lawn. |
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| Author: | Tad Queasy [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
NearWessSideHussra wrote: Suburbanites bitching about their fellow suburbanites' behavior is like a guy in hell complaining about the heat. 
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| Author: | spanky [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Furious Styles wrote: 30 guys, 1 lawn. That's hot |
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| Author: | Don Tiny [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
Furious Styles wrote: 30 guys, 1 lawn. 
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| Author: | NearWessSideHussra [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
redskingreg wrote: NearWessSideHussra wrote: Suburbanites bitching about their fellow suburbanites' behavior is like a guy in hell complaining about the heat. Good point. City dwellers never have issues with their neighbors. Difficult to have issues with someone you've never met, wouldn't be able to pick out of police lineup and would not bother to dump the remainder of your Sigg water bottle on if you walked by them while they were on fire. |
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| Author: | Bagels [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
except none of those things are true here, but nice trolling |
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| Author: | Kirkwood [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:32 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: One of my neighbors |
NearWessSideHussra wrote: Difficult to have issues with someone you've never met, wouldn't be able to pick out of police lineup and would not bother to dump the remainder of your Sigg water bottle on if you walked by them while they were on fire. Just parking alone b/c of dibs alone causes a shitstorm let alone issues sharing a building etc. |
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