A few weeks ago, I was going for a pleasant little run when to my surprise, I ran into a bird! It was flying down from a tree and it bumped into me. I think it was an oriole. I didn't kill it, I just stunned it. But it got up, flew around me for a while, and then went away.

Now that the following has happened four times, I can say that I am no longer able to run down this same street. The bird remembers me. It hangs out in the same tree, and whenever it sees me, it dives down at me, floats around me, chirping at me, and follows me for a good little stretch of road before it finally gives up. Hasn't pecked me or anything yet, but it's really stressing me out to worry about whether the bird is coming after me again and if it'll escalate the situation, and then every time just keeps trying to psych me out. Doesn't this bird have anywhere else to go? These have been at various times of the day. Leave me alone! I'm sorry! It was an accident! What if it does attack me? What if he brings in his crew? I even grew a beard to see if that would help throw the bird off, knowing that avian intelligence has an amazing capacity for facial recognition, but I had hoped it wasn't that amazing.

So now I am restricted in where I can run because of a bird that's still pissed at me for an accident a fucking month ago. And I thought people couldn't forgive.

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I think you are the bee...

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@audioidkid

I would expect you to lose a physical contest to a bird. Do you also avoid peeing in urinals?

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You sure it isn't a redwing blackbird? Those fuckers are very territorial. I've been pecked on my head twice already this summer. They're all over the Northwestern lakefill. I'd probably get pecked more but they have a very distinctive trilling noise they make before they attack so I've waved a few of the bastards off.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

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GOB: "My God, what is this feeling?"
Michael: "Could it be love?"
GOB: "I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's... it's like my heart is getting hard."

Oh, that is the little shit. Thanks, Audobon! There must be a nest up there.

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They are! There was one in the forest preserve near my folks' place that buzzed me several times when I walked past the tree where it had its nest.

sweet lord, you guys are bitches

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

#truth

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Guess this bird did not know about the agreement

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

The Red-Winged Blackbird is my all time favorite bird. They are badass, like blackbirds who organized into a biker gang. I had one as my facebook avatar for years.

Also, I am not a heavy drinker and I got a 17 on my ACT.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost