man I thought he had gotten arrested or something for public masturbation. You tease Sandy
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| Spiegel, Public Masturbation https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=75&t=89142 |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
What a boring, lazy, self congratulatory piece of crap he gives us this week! He has a blue, fat whiffle bat that he loves to hold and swing. He sees it in the bag of sports stuff in the trunk and wants to bring it into the back seat and the living room. No dice, kid. But outside? Any time you want. He is 2 years and 8 months into existence on the planet, and he likes lots of things. He really likes falling down. Digs flopping around on the "big bed." He likes fire trucks and ambulances and school buses and vans and choo choo trains. And yes, he's starting to like baseball. Not in the viewing or aesthetic sense, but he's realized that hitting a ball with a bat is seriously pleasing. His first batting coach, mom, did an excellent job directing his stance and swing while kneeling behind him. Daddy pitched, trying to target that Eddie Gaedel-sized strike zone. We have a friendly boy, who loves to say hi to anyone and everyone. If kids are playing, he'll join. Baseball is great social lubricant for all of us. MJ is 6, runs like a deer, and pounds the whiffle ball with power. My boy sees him often, plays with him, and aspires to be older and wiser. MJ's father, Irving, and I have talked about Jackie Robinson West, the Sox bullpen and principally the obvious happiness of our spawn. We talk about how to make it last as long as possible. My boy swats and misses the ball chaotically. Once it has slowed to a stop on the ground, that's when he gets in his best swings. Pounding away at it looks deeply satisfying. It's been a good baseball summer for us. We've been to multiple games on both sides of town. His interest level rises a bit each time. For him, and for me on those days, the win-loss record means nothing. The popcorn better not be stale. You may remember me writing in this space about how I'd decided to not imprint any particular fandom onto him. That mandate holds. I thank the Cubs for their generous gift of an official youth glove on the occasion of his first game, but it made its way to Goodwill. I thank the White Sox for the cuddly Pillow Pet, but a lucky parent has hopefully found that donation. When he asks for an item with a logo from either team, it's his immediately. But that decision is not mine. If I were laying odds, the White Sox are the favorites. The atmosphere of that ballpark is incredibly conducive to a child's good time. Play areas, endless food varieties, air-conditioned concourses and more. A toddler can't wrap his brain around why Wrigley is special right now. The beauty of the ivy and other optics only holds for so long. For now, I'm just glad he likes to play. It's a good game. Baseball is an endless cerebral challenge, and for a boy his age, it's also a dexterity, patience and attention-span challenge. He is my son, and it's the great pleasure of this life to help him discover and repeat things he enjoys, whatever they may be. These past few weeks in the NFL have made all of us need sports to be an escape more than ever. It can be found by diving into the growth of Cubs prospects, the majesty of Chris Sale or the farewell to Paul Konerko. It can be found by marveling at the A's collapse, rooting for it to be the Royals' year or never missing a Clayton Kershaw pitch. And it can be found in the curious joy of a toddler in a grassy field. In his cousins' front yard, he held out his glove hand flatly. Daddy threw the ball from 30 feet away or so, with plenty of arc. It landed in the open mitt. His first real catch. The crowd went wild on the front steps. Best moment of the baseball summer. |
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| Author: | bigfan [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Yeah, he could have kept then one inhouse. |
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| Author: | leashyourkids [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
He is the only person ever to have a kid. |
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| Author: | bigfan [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
the man is having a good time in life, he had some bad bad times before that. Just need to keep it in check |
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| Author: | RFDC [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
| man I thought he had gotten arrested or something for public masturbation. You tease Sandy |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Maybe it's because I don't have kids that I find people talking about mundane child achievements are about as useless and boring as Fantasy Football discussions. But talking to a friend or family like this is normal and acceptable. Why this was a paid column is questionable at best. |
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| Author: | FavreFan [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Goddamnit Darko. I echo RFDC's sentiments. |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
FavreFan wrote: Goddamnit Darko. I echo RFDC's sentiments. Protection from what? Zee Germans? |
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| Author: | W_Z [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Darkside wrote: Maybe it's because I don't have kids that I find people talking about mundane child achievements are about as useless and boring as Fantasy Football discussions. But talking to a friend or family like this is normal and acceptable. Why this was a paid column is questionable at best. it's a great example of humblebragging. it's just useless...it literally offers nothing except "proud dad" self identification. |
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| Author: | Hussra [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 10:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
leashyourkids wrote: He is the only person ever to have a kid. this. writing about your child's latest special moment is like writing about your latest bowel movement |
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| Author: | Spaulding [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 10:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
He's so gosh darn smarmy. I freaking hate him, he's so bad. |
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| Author: | Tad Queasy [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 10:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
That's about his kid? I only skimmed it...I thought it was about Laurence. |
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| Author: | bigfan [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Tad Queasy wrote: That's about his kid? I only skimmed it...I thought it was about Laurence. Yes, he wrote an article about his 3 year old playing with the plastic bat and ball. |
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| Author: | Kirkwood [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
The asshole can decline the gifts instead of accepting them and then donating them. What a dick. |
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| Author: | Spaulding [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Kirkwood wrote: The asshole can decline the gifts instead of accepting them and then donating them. What a dick. Or did he accept them, then donate them? He's 3. He probably wants all Red Sox stuff. I don't know why you'd put that in writing but okay, dipshit. |
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| Author: | Urlacher's missing neck [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Kirkwood wrote: The asshole can decline the gifts instead of accepting them and then donating them. What a dick. ..and then write that he did it in an article. I can not lie...I was really hoping he got caught rubbing one out behind horseshoe casino after a night of boozing scotch and playing poker....on a work night of course. |
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| Author: | jimmypasta [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
This thread is right on. I read that column and could not believe it got by the editor. That stuff should be in one of those neighborhood papers that nobody reads not in a big time paper. Smarmy is the word here. |
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| Author: | Spaulding [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Hey let me tell everybody here all the gifts I return... |
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| Author: | newper [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Spaulding wrote: Hey let me tell everybody here all the gifts I return... Reminds me of the time Dahl wrote a column explaining why he had Dish Network and regular cable because if one went out he'd have the other one. 
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| Author: | Erotic Lawyer [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 3:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Today I got my 4 month old some damn cute footies. Just wanted you all to know. |
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| Author: | Brick [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 6:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Darkside wrote: You may remember me writing in this space about how I'd decided to not imprint any particular fandom onto him. That mandate holds. I thank the Cubs for their generous gift of an official youth glove on the occasion of his first game, but it made its way to Goodwill. I thank the White Sox for the cuddly Pillow Pet, but a lucky parent has hopefully found that donation. I hope he gets fired.
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| Author: | Brick [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 6:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Boilermaker Rick wrote: Darkside wrote: You may remember me writing in this space about how I'd decided to not imprint any particular fandom onto him. That mandate holds. I thank the Cubs for their generous gift of an official youth glove on the occasion of his first game, but it made its way to Goodwill. I thank the White Sox for the cuddly Pillow Pet, but a lucky parent has hopefully found that donation. I hope he gets fired. |
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| Author: | rogers park bryan [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Wow. Spiegel sounds like a pretty amazing dad. |
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| Author: | Chus [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Erotic Lawyer wrote: Today I got my 4 month old some damn cute footies. Just wanted you all to know. My almost four year old had the runs yesterday. As he was letting loose on the toilet, he said, "daddy, my butt sneezed". |
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| Author: | rogers park bryan [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
newper wrote: Spaulding wrote: Hey let me tell everybody here all the gifts I return... Reminds me of the time Dahl wrote a column explaining why he had Dish Network and regular cable because if one went out he'd have the other one.
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| Author: | bigfan [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
Chus wrote: Erotic Lawyer wrote: Today I got my 4 month old some damn cute footies. Just wanted you all to know. My almost four year old had the runs yesterday. As he was letting loose on the toilet, he said, "daddy, my butt sneezed". Yeah but can he catch a ball thrown from a high arch. |
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| Author: | Chus [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
bigfan wrote: Chus wrote: Erotic Lawyer wrote: Today I got my 4 month old some damn cute footies. Just wanted you all to know. My almost four year old had the runs yesterday. As he was letting loose on the toilet, he said, "daddy, my butt sneezed". Yeah but can he catch a ball thrown from a high arch. Absolutely. Ball, wall, ball. |
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| Author: | good dolphin [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
I am THE member of Spiegal ALS. He makes it so difficult. |
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| Author: | Spaulding [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 10:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
I can't understand why you like him. |
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| Author: | Tall Midget [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 10:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Spiegel, Public Masturbation |
good dolphin wrote: I am THE member of Spiegal ALS. He makes it so difficult. Yes, because he's an insufferable lout, a terrible radio host, a bad writer and a mediocre musician. |
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