Why didn't you switch to the empty lanes?

Why didn't you switch to the empty lanes?

12 items or less.

One person being checked out.
2 people behind them with 16 items. That 12 number is just a guide. Doesn't apply to them even though 4 other regular lanes are open for business.
Me with one carton of coffee creamer.
Guy behind me with a loaf of bread.

Of course, there's no way me or the guy behind me are going to get the "go ahead, you've only got one thing" courtesy even though they are in the wrong. These people are special.

So as the 16 items are being rung up, the lady gets her cash out. The total is 34 bucks. She already has the 20 and the 5 in her hand but she's having a damn hard time figuring out how many ones will get her to the magic number. She finally reaches her goal. And of course, she throws the money down in such a way that it's not real easy for the checker. Then the guy starts bitching about a 34 dollar total and she starts defending the purchases.

And as my one carton of coffee creamer is rung up, I glance over and the 4 other lanes are empty.

I swear to God, I'm getting close to Larry David territory. I'm just going to start commenting loudly when this shit starts.

Where were you Schnucks,Hy Vee or Kroger on Lake. Or maybe slummin at the Wisconsin Ave Kroger?

Believe me if there is someone behind me with one item and I've got 10, they are going in front of me.

Hyvee.

The people in Kroger know what's what.

Scooter, I keep forgetting you're nearby

What if you got in the line with 11, and he got behind you and stole one from your cart? You letting him ahead of you then, mister shopper man??

FEWER! 12 ITEMS OR FEWER!

Thou! why, thou wilt quarrel with a man that hath a hair more, or a hair less, in his beard,

Gremio, 'tis known my father hath no less than three great argosies, besides two galliasses

Yo, there was a bitch I knew on the avenue
She was good to G-O for a nut or two yo
I think her name was Clara
And she was guaranteed to give a motherfucka whatever he needs
To be perfectly honest, she was a hooker
So I took her a hundred yards, to the boulevard
I told her "I'll take care of you, you take care of me
You've got a P-I-M-P and all I want is the money"
She went to work and the niggas were fiendin'
Yo, she had the biggest ass that you ever seen
In fact she was like Medusa, with tities full grown
One look and your dick turns to stone, yeah
Keepin' in mind that she was the kind that would find the time to get mine
Because she knows I'm not to be fucked with
She ain't crazy
Fuckin' with Dre, she'll be pushin' up daisies
She was the perfect ho, but wouldn't you know
The bitch tried to gank me, so
I had to kill her
Yeah, straight hittin'
Now listen up and lemme tell you how I did it
Yo, I tied her to the bed, I was thinking the worst
But yo, I had to let my niggas fuck her first yeah
Loaded up the forty-fo', yo
Then I straight smoked the ho
Cause I'm a real nigga, but I guess you figure
I was soft and she thank me
Coughed to the boss and got tossed
One less bitch you gotta worry about
She's outta here and that's how it turns out

One less
One less
One less bitch you gotta worry about!

I had to leave my bag of ice and Sunday paper on the counter at 7-Eleven and walk out when the lottery ticket buyin' motherfucker in front of me spent about ten minutes betting Mega Millions combos and then just when it seemed he was finished, started asking questions about every type of scratch-off.

You should have hit him in the head with the ice and told him his luck just ran out.

Oh the fucking checkbook. Christ on a sticker album.

When I run repairs, I quote the exact amount it will cost. "That total will be $422.25... I'll get to work".

But we wait until I need to get to the next job. Then we don't just write the check... no! We balance our checkbook! FUCK YOU. BALANCE THE FUCKER AFTER I LEAVE YOU FUCK.

If I didn't know better, I would swear on just about everything that after reading your post, you HATE your job.

I love my job. I hate people. And alls I do is deal with dumb ass people.
I had a lady tell me today that she knows that the upstairs will be warmer than the downstairs in summer because she's a nurse.

Your avatar has never been more perfect.

Had a guy today who wanted me to check the charge on the AC. But he won't let me in the house. I tell him, I need to know if its a TXV and if not I need the wet bulb reading from inside the house. He tells me to just do it outside.
That's like telling a doctor to check your blood pressure without using a cuff.