THIS IS HOW YOU DO A RAP "DISS" TRACK GUYS. RIGHT HERE. this is my flashbulb (a soulless chicago electronic (studio) musician who has made an admittedly nice career out of ripping off aphex twin and squarepusher, the latter of whom he dissed to me so i stuck up for my favorite musician and let him have it. and he got smeared like the queer that he prolly is) diss cut. i usually FUCKING LOATHE everything i make rapwise, and most of 2009 was a joke, but like... this is good. so here it is, an example of how to do it right.
sinicalypse - captain benn the gay master (flashbulb diss)now, ahem, when i was like "that common drake diss song is weak... if you got beef with someone why don't you come out and say it" i just so happen to have my very own diss track to back it up. that's the link up there. i just bumped it on the walk to the cornerstore to get some squares, and like, it's good.
i eviscerate the motherfucker i went after and i called it in the cut, he wasn't gonna respond to me cuz like no matter what he did he was fucked... i absolutely smashed him and like i said... it's underground beef between me and some homo named "the flashbulb" so in the big picture nobody cares... it doesn't move units (altho the flashbulb has said in the past that he's moved more units with LMFAO that is lolworthy) so like. the OG version of this cut had ~3-4 minutes of me explaining who i am, my life, and hte beef, but imma do it here.
chicago is home to a guy named benn jordan who makes electronic music under the name "the flashbulb." he's a very talented studio musician, in that he technically has a bunch of talent... he can make very technically-good music... the problem is that he has no soul. most of his "career" as the flashbulb has been ripping off the indelible musical stylings of squarepusher. seriously, it's kind of sick... but like, at the same time, to be able to rip off squarepusher DOES take musical talent and skill of a level that is appreciable, however, i don't appreciate his lack of a soul. if this guy has a soul he could pretty easily be the best electronic musician in not only chicago, but the USA... but he doesn't. he's an ex-jock turned studio musician so he ripped off a musical god, but alas, he has no soul. he's a post-hipster wine-drinking yelp.com restaurant-reviewing yuppie douchebag in nuthugger jeans.
my beef with him dates back to myspace circa 2008-09 when he was advertising some show of his, and if you went to the show and were deemed cool you could get the invite to the "chicago acid house party" and he wanted to do it like oldschool raves, back when they were basically illegal and they had checkpoints so they could try to weed out cops and narcs and lamers who'd blow up the spot and get the party busted.... however, since like 1994-95 that phenomenon is long dead cuz it got real legal when "raves" became weekly club nights @ either the dolton or harvey expo centers. anyways, while complimenting the oldschool thing, i got on bennnn's case because he was being a douche about it and i just wanted to go to the acid house party without seeing a lameass flahbulb-n-friends show, so i called him out for being a douche. we got into an arugment.
in our up-n-back myspace message arguments (remember, i said rap beef is best when it's underground shit that nobody cares about since all of the parties involved have "nothing to lose" whereas common and drake are selling tens to hundreds of thousands of records and tehrefore they cnan't go all out like us underground cats can) i started invoking the names of the electronic music gods like aphex twin and how they go about their business (and keep in mind, two of benn jordan's side projects, the human action network and THE ACID WOLF (seriously, who wakes up in the morning looks in the mirror and says I AM THE ACID WOLF!!!!! ??!?! benn jordan does) basically COMPLETE AND TOTALLY FUCKING JACK AND RIP OFF APHEX TWIN'S ANALORD SERIES FROM 2005))) --- ahem. anyways benn jordan dissed aphex twin, saying that "[my] idm king makes niche music, in fact, he doesn't make enough $$$ to raise a family in london so he had to move to the scottish countryside.... [blah blah blah] whereas i don't make niche music like he does, i'm a self-made millionaire. so i get haters like you all the time, you look up and see me in a private plane going to japan to play a show and you hate the fact that your life sucks so much while mine is so great, and while i'm sorry that you're not able to experience a life as great as mine, i'm not that sorry, but i do sympathize with you and understand why you hate" --- he also pointed out that when i basically said he made a career out of ripping off squarepusher that "tom (squarpeusher) respects my music and my visio nas an artist" and all this crap and i'm like "man, if the fucker knew you h[size=150]e prolly hates you" and blah blah blah
so like, the fighting words was that this guy rips off aphex twin and yet he disses aphex twin as IDM niche music that doesnt make $$$ yet this guy is a self-made millionaire who jet-sets around the world playing shows? pfft. FUCK YOU! this flashbulb guy once made a rap diss song towards another shitty electronic musician named cex called cex cux, so since he made a rap diss of someone else i felt he deserved one.... so i let him have it. and i fucking KILLED this motherfucker. like i say in the track, he didn't formally respond... he had a dupe/mult account on watmm, where he was so badmouthed he couldnt post in person cuz hes a running joke on the place, and even he had to acknowledge via mult that i did a good job. he was absolutely fucking obliterated, and like i said in the cut... no response. he couldn't win... if he tried to battle rap back it'd be worse and it'd piss me off even more... and like, yeah. this is how you do a fucking diss track. and seriously, yeah i know my style needs work cuz im an amateur... yeah i know i go offbeat sometimes (granted i had to nick the beat off of the ~2-3 seconds of beat leftover from the song i used) but i mean, you can hear the anger and venom in my voice. i smash the fuck out of him. that's how you do a diss track, calling out his ex-girlfriends, his rampant faggotry, his unoriginality, everything. bam.
also, hova, i want you to know all that "venom" towards you was 100% messageboard shit. you're a good dude from what i know/of you and i have a lot of fun playing in the fantasy baseball league. i can't wait til ~2014 when my championship empire rains hellfire down upon your league for the next 10 years. 100% messageboard shit foreal man no IRL beef whatsoever here.
TL;DR MASSIVEalso, im "re-releasing" my old EPs and im gonna make a proper sinicalypse music rolling thread tonight. i'm not a real musician like doug or frank or darko(i think) or anyone... but i have a relatively-surprising legacy that goes back to the year 2000.... and i'm going to go down in history as one of, if not the greatest white rapper of all time. it's a fait accompli once i figure out how to fix the mental in my head
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Curious Hair wrote:
Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?