would you believe that CSFMB's very own resident tl;drologist, sinicalypse, is a somewhat-prolific chicago rap/electronic-music legend that dates back to roughly the year 1999? that's right, over the last ~12-13 years i've been freestyle/rapping and cranking out electronic music not for any reason other than it's who i am and what i do. my sensibilities are different than most: i (obviously) don't have any formal instrument training, nor do i try and make electronic music in the same vein as many/most others do... but i do what i do, and i've been doing what i do for a long time.

in terms of rapping, i mainly go off-the-dome freestyle and have an excellent natural ability to combine rhyming words with punchlines and candor at high speeds. i've dabbled into writing tracks since the year of 2006, with a big glut of stuff in 2009 under the project codename WACKZILLA, and now in 2012 i'm formally "going for it" -- and i've even got the greatest rapper in the history of the world, aceyalone, telling me to get on my ol nike game (just do it) cuz he's accepting students for the class of 2016: holla. i can't get any love locally, save sharkula, but somehow i got the greatest rapper in the world to listen to my songs and see that i've got some raw ability that needs to be seasoned over time.

in terms of electronic music, i don't give a fuck about the electronic music world cuz it's shallow and vain and quite honestly the reason i've turned to rapping. i've long been smashing up beats in my archaic sony (nee sonic foundry) acid sequencer and done some sort of a JAMs/KLF impression where i deface pop/music and, before the term got popularized, made mash-ups of different songs in my attempts to make music that generally entertains only myself.

i've got free unlimited space/bandwith hosting, so i've gone and started to upload my armada of stuff accumulated over the years @ http://sinicalypse.kaen.org

since the board only allows one URL per post, i'll keep the other links to a minimum, but that link up there will direct you to sinicalypse . kaen . org/fakeasswigga --- the home of all of my rap songs. there's .zip files of two "proper" EPs i made in 2009, but i'm going to have to link them in subsequent replies.... here we go!

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I'm going to not read this and assume you are a 98 Degrees fan.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

(clicking on the image will lead you to a zip file of the respective work. individual tracks can be downloaded via the link in the original message)

supreme pizza: legend of the modelfucker EP

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and the sinicalypse is bomberman! EP (note the HIGH END GRAPHICS @ work here)



and thanks ugie... you know, it's strangely fitting and downright apropos that when i FINALLY go and make a proper rolling thread on here pointing out some of the works i've made over the last ~13 years that someone IMMEDIATELY shows up to shit on what i'm doing before they could have even POSSIBLY read the thread (seeing as i had the 2nd message cut-n-pasted and ready to go, so i hit POST then quickly went to the thread, hit reply, hit paste, hit POST, and somewhere in those ~20 seconds of interim time, you showed up to crack some joke about how i'm not into 98 degrees. that's just one of life's little perfect moments. thanks.

ANYWAYS, AHEM, i will continue to update this post sporadically with new/old projects that i've done over the years. like i said, i'm somewhat prolific in that i've made a whole bunch of shit over the years.... and i've never let people's continued antipathy stop me from expressing myself.... i've never really been given any props, compliments, or encouragement to keep on going.... well, except for aceyalone. go figure, random local people and friends of mine won't give me the time of day with my raps... but i go straight to the greatest rapper in the world and he sees that i've got something special going on and encourages me to keep going. one of life's mysteries, eh? =D

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I just downloaded and will give them a listen.

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@audioidkid

here, for reasons i cannot possibly fathom, i would like to share with you a taste of THE FIRST EVER RAP SONG I MADE... the actual lyrics are from ~1998/99, but the actual emessiah remix is from early-09 i think... either way, welp, quoteth mario: MEX-UH-COOOOO!!!!!!

sinicalypse - westside wednesday (emessiah's divine intervention remix, esq.)

btw i'm emessiah too. that's kind of my "i can't possibly sell music under this name cuz it means MORE than that moniker. like when i exorcised the demons from that heidi montag song... that's helping the world AFAIC)

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here IMU i have no idea what the fuck you're on about... but have an old disco mix i made called dj tim osman - i put the HO in disco

see like... originally i wanted to be DJ BIN LADEN - THE MOST HATED DJ IN AMERICA!!@#$@#$@# and just play shit to piss people off.... but that's a self-defeating prophecy. so instead i chose his CIA codename, tim osman/ossman as my DJ name and went on the low...

however, on page 11 of the dramathread i just linked to my one proper DJ bin laden mix and i fucking kill it. the majestic ceephax acid crew objected to my linking him to it like "i'd listen, but you know, i have to make music" and it's like OH FUCK YOU ANDYCAKES I'M GOOD.

see when you're technically nobody and you demand the greatest musicians on the planet to respect you as an equal-or-better force of righteousness in the worlds, there's going to be some wit-chafing.

or kitten pictures, as it were.

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ok i have enough vodka/st-ides-40oz in me to be real with you dude.

you can drop image macros all you want... but there's no way in hell you and your aftermarket taillights can outwit/outsmart/outplay me at this. it's just impossible. if you want me to keep linking you to random shit i've made over the last 13 years i'll engage you all night long... i'm a bonafide genius and fucking musical legend in my own right, and i honestly don't care what you/anyone thinks of me cuz i do what i do and i'm going to keep doing it because that's what i do.

here, choke on my theme song, sinicalypse is the boss if you will. (knowing a 70s blaxploitation flick called boss genius exists helps you with this cut)

see that's the difference between me and you... you're desperate for approval and i'm desperate for innovation. quoteth my 2nd favorite musician squarepusher, there are people who innovate, and there are people who form groups. guess which one you are?!?!

oh yeah. peace roll... i'm still buying you a beer @ the bulls game. I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!

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I'm going to check some of this out later at the crib. I'll give my honest opinion tomorrow...

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This is my signature...

OEM taillights? now you're just defeating yourself, kid.

like chicago-based electronic musician the flashbulb, when he dissed aphex twin, aka my favorite musician ever, and willed me to make a diss rap about him called captain benn the gay master

even he had to show up on his watmm dupe account and be like damn cuz he's got a little diddy on youtube where he disses an electronic musician named cex in a song called cex cux.... and i kind of do the lord's work (hence the whole emessiah kick i have. email me at emessiah @ smoke.dope.org when you're bored) and well, just don't diss aphex twin around me cuz that's liable to get me pissed.

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here man in another thread RPB asked me about how i served this burrito kid static @ his own show back in 2009.... i didnt want to have to drop it on the board but i'll do it, esp cuz i remembered my lyrical assault on the guy when i was in the process of locking down thee aforementioned 20-year-old-brilliant-nerdy-blackgirl-at-st-johns-nook last night. it takes something to bring out i nthe best in me nahmean?

i'm pretty sure that you once asked me about the story when i served that GAY kid static at his own show.

oh yeah, warning, HOMOPHOBIA ALERT.

so anyways, i just told some girl on facebook the story and i remembered more of the lyrics i used on him than i usually do so now is the best time to tell you since you can get the gist of how bad i killed this fucking clown. i seriously did a proper ode to 8-mile in how i did my thing, but the only guy there who was clever enough to figure it out was sharkula... google him, to many he's the "most pure chicago rap legend outthere" and well, he's convinced i'm a genius and we need to make tracks together cuz if/when i blow up i could very well be his mealticket someday.

i'll just PM it to you cuz i dont need to grandstand on the board and have some fuck like IMU drop the obligatory overweight white wigger picture to be like YEAHHHH BOY. plus i've been bragging about my rap stuff too much lately. .anyways without further adieu, here's that exciting facebook msg transcript that tells the story pretty concisely (which is rare for me, as you know)

see i aint tryin'ta be homophobic but like, there was this one guy named kid static who i served at his own show once in 2009
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos- ... 4428_n.jpg
he was onstage gesticulating erotically grabbing his crotch and shit whilst rapping about megaman
i know, it was genius that i didn't understand. duh

Mmm. Oh, my.

he totally disrespected me in the crowd and when he did i swore that someday i would serve the everliving shit out of him
as fate would have it, as the show was a beatboxer's b-day party, later when he did his thing mcs were invited up to kick frees while he beatboxed
so i had been in ciphers all night and ppl were like go up there do your thing kid
so as i'm doing said thing, i see kid static (real name: moses. turns out i met him a year or two b4 but didnt know he was KID STATIC) lives up to his namesake and literally parts the red sea in convenient crowd format coming to the stage

Oh my God, I cannot already.

he grabs a mic and starts talking over me, apologizing to the crowd that he has to "do some battle shit" and take a second to "son" me
i'm gracious for this... i put my hand over the mic and say "hey no matter what happens here, thanks for this... this is some actual paying dues in the game and i appreciate this opportunity"
he, of course ,is ALL BUSINESS as that highly fashionable designer outfit in the picture i linked you to would imply
so he ignores me
now, being a wildebeest from the crowd, i'm an unknown unknown so what does he have on me?
1) i'm white. his eyes work
2) i'm overweight. again, his eyes work
3) i'm wearing montreal expos hat/jersey. see a pattern here?
that's it
so he kicks some freestyle verse that says i'm an overweight white fan of the montreal expos
riveting stuff, for sure.
so like, i dunno, i kind of decide to give the crowd an ode to the end of the film "8 mile"

XD
Yes.

altho i go second in the battle, i decide to take everything he's said about me and flip it on him
now i was kind of "in the zone" as it was so i don't remember exact quotes all the way through
but i said some shit like "you wanna call me fat? damn straight, i'm a freestyle heavyweight and i levitate over your hate and even better, guess what, i'm straight!"
(yeah, his obvious faggotry was kind of the #1 thing i went after)

OMG, JIMMMMMY!!

so like
at the end of my thing
i had some ~4-6 bar multi-rhyme punchline built up
where it started off like i called him a dick magnet

Holy shit, you obliterated him.

and i said something like, silly rabbit, ain't you ever learned that dicks are for chicks and you can't have it like the trix rabbit?"
then something like
"you wanted to son me but you're definitely the kid, static, cuz you stepped to me and i exposed you as a little bitch, you silly burrito"
then the crowd goes OOOOOOHHHHHH
i drop the mic
i drop the mic

Oh, oh, hey now.

and promptly walk out through the crowd

Homophobia alert.

just like the end of 8 mile
i know i know
but this was rap
he streotyped me as being white nad overweight, so i wnet that he was gay

Jimmmyy.
T_T

but comeon, look at the quality of the rhymes and the punchlines
and the whole obvious (at least to me) ode to 8-mile by dropping the mic when i was done and walking through the crowd not even acknowledging him

Okay, yes.

people jumping up on me like HOLY FUCK MAN YOU KILLED HIM

If you were corporeal in the general vicinity of me.

and then someone who was running the show came up to me like "uhhh, you need to leave right now because you're intimidating our talent"

I would back clap you and tell you what's up.

11:37pm
and i'm like "you damn right... lemme get my 2pac record and i'm out"
and sure enough, behind the speakers all night i had stashed my 2pac "i get around" 12" so i walked out holding it up defiantly in victory

You are not even real.
Hahaaaa.

-------

so there you have it RPB.... if i may, a purely legendary, if not totally insignificant moment, in chicago hiphop purveyed by yours truly... and only appreciated by sharkula, who i met by walking down division st just east of damen during some arts-n-crafts fair/festival when he's like OMFG I KNOW U UR THE GENIUS MOTHERFUCKER WHO SERVED KID STATIC AT HIS OWN SHOW and i was like "ur a smart man, cuz i dont know who you are, but we're about to spend all of the $$$ in my pocket on marijuana scotch and chicken today cuz you just made my life so what the fuck is going on?!!

THE END.


-------


then RPB asked what kid static did to piss me off and get him like that and welp, here you go

welp i went up to him in the crowd and tried introducing myself and being like "hey i'm james i'm starting my rap thing and i know you've done a track with my friend jeremy/actual-fact" and i was gonna try to see if he'd be down to collab on something or whatever... i had no fear, i had nothing to lose you know, i was kissing his ass and whatnot so like, dude does the alice in wonderland thing and goes

WHOOOOOOO ARE YOU?!?!?!?!

while striking a pose that immediately makes me think of the gay as shit black dude that's on america's next top model. he's like, all dramatic and pointing at me. i try recoiling myself and saying honestly again and all he does it point at me and go

WHOOOOOOO ARE YOU?!?!?!?!

and again, i'm trying to be civil and whatnot but this is getting real tiresome real quick. i try explaining i'm from the aceyalone/freestyle-fellowship school of rap idiology and he actually breaks his character to laugh and say that they were good in the 90s but he hasn't listened to them in 8 years and i'm like well that's your loss, but alls i'm saying is i'm supremely talented in this game and i'm coming on like a freight train and you're there you're friends with my friends how do you do this shit foreal? how much for a verse on a cut etc?! but then it's back to

WHOOOOOOO ARE YOU?!?!?!?!

so i'm like ok fuck this fuck you man, i don't know who the fuck you are but you've just made an enemy in the game, you've just pissed someone off who now has it in for you and i'm going to research your whole fucking little rap career study it good and absolutely put out a passionate effrort to serve the shit out of you, got that you weird demonstrative burrito??! WHOOOOOO AM I?!?!? i'm your new worst motherfucking enemy and i will destroy you... fuck you, just know the name sinicalypse and that i'm coming for your ass, but not in the way you'd actually prefer, got that homo?!?!

then he's like SOMEONE GET THIS WHITE BOY AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I HAVE TO SMACK HIM!!! SOMEONE GET ME AWAY FROM THIS WHITE BOY BEFORE I HAVE TO SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!!!!! SOMEONE GET US APART I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SON A WHITEBOY TONIGHT!!!!! and he literally gets all fucking faggoty and fidgety and i'm just like "fuck this" and go back to what i was doing all night, drinking beer catching hte business end of blunts @ the show (it wasnt "at a real rap venue") and getting in ciphers.

like i said in the story, little did i know that i'd end up serving the shit out of him within an hour or two... c'est la vie.

---------

there. i'm good at what (little) i do

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btw this is "kid static" aka the guy i served at his own show. studies have proven gaydar to be ~85% effective so tell me i'm wrong.

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I dont know hip hop very well, so take this with a grain of salt.

The track I listened to didnt sound very good to me.

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and to compare to kid static... here's me with the greatest rapper of all-time, aceyalone, back in 2008.



and for the sake of completion, dude, if i'm gonna be a fanboy and rock the aceyalone and abstract rude are the a-team shirt to get a picture with aceyalone, you damn well know i had to meet abstract rude outside of a sold out atmosphere show 2 months earlier (i never sold out, so i could get in. duh. it's me) so of course, i have my fanboy pictures with THE WHOLE DAMN A-TEAM in my rare/ltd a-team shirt



so drop more pictures please... i really need to boast more. it's going to help my cause. * shrugs *

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sigh. NEXT CALLER?!?!?!?!

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this reminds me of a shoop i made to crack up acey a few years back when he posted some hardass picture of himself that made me crack up and start to drop it into random places....

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critical ear:
I listened through 18 tracks or so...
I noticed a couple of things. vocal pitch and tempo fluctuates a bit. if that's your thing, then cool, but it's hard for me to listen to.
there is little bass bump on the P's and B's here and there. there is definitely some clever stuff lyrically but, I'm not hearing many hooks.
my $.02

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@audioidkid

well see, everything is done @home by myself with no help and no sort of production skill or merit with a $15ish microphone named SAMSON from best buy... or a ghetto pocketrecorder without a screen.

honestly, when i do freestyles and stuff i have no idea about pitch and tempo... i hitch up, i slow down, i throw down like your clown cuz i'm the motherfucking hoe down... i mean, i honestly have no concept of that shit... if i ever did some sort of recording in a studio with mixingboards and shit, well, i reckon i'd pay attention and try real hard but this shit is all a lark technically at the moment...

for example... warn japan, sound the air sirens... CUZ THE WHITEZILLA EPOCH HAS BEGUN WITH THIS FREESTYLE!!@

to be truthful, the really excruciating part is that i'm pretty sure i've showcased all kinds of raw capacity/ability/potential and yet, seriously, short of the greatest rapper in human history and a chicago rap legend and stuff.... i just kind of spin my tires in the mud... some of my friends in the game tell me to write a book, they'd read it... but everyone raps... don't rap.... write that book.

but like... maybe i'm just loco, ese, but to me especially on the freestyle shit it's fucking obvious that i can just go off and absolutely annihilate them, so it's only a matter of time before i master the transition where i take that aura and channel it into more focused/directed writtens that, yes, adhere to a set tempo and rhythm and actually attempt to be some sort of a professionally made/executed "song" that's attempting to earn a few pennies in the guitar case next to me as i perform on the street corner.

or maybe i'm just truly utterly and hopelessly insane and i'm just an idiot and i should go back to school and get a computer science degree and look forward to suburbia? what do i know =D

thanks for the honest thoughts tho... you're coming from a different place than me and i appreciate the juxtaposition of our views on "rap music"

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sinicalypse - i have had enuff (aka lettin the bitches of the world know)

yeah hey darko, if you have performances at darkofest this year i'll play it. #csfmb represent.

i made this ~2.5 years ago. this is why i can tell goff what he can do with himself when he feels threatened by my obvious trancendence and acts like a bitch. LOVE YA JASON BUT QUOTETH EMINEM "YOU BETTA RECOGNIZE ME LIKE I LOOK FAMILIAR"

i just had to get off of drugs... and i have.. and now it's like... WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! </ricflair>

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here guys, if you don't want to commit to downloading my excellence i have a soundcloud @ http://soundcloud.com/sinicalypse --- seriously. i'm the biggest rap nerd i know, and the greatest rapper i've ever heard will personally listne to new freestyles i kick and shoot me back advice on how to get better. i'm a force of nature. i'm eminem in ~95-96 right now. of course, i'm beyond him cuz i'm also the electric messiah but SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i'm learning how to interface with the world as a future celebrity/star and like, i was a weird fucked up heroin addict permadepressed tormented genius.... i mean, normal people front on me so hard cuz my childish dreams of being the realest/coolest motherfucker on earth were never crushed by the great combine of society thanks to my awesome family.

seriously guys, i'm the wyld stallyns of..... well life. i mean that metaphor should smash you over the head, george carlin shows up and tells two hapless loser kids their music saves the future and gives them a time machine?

except i prefer tardises... i'm the doctor after all. music video next month.

seriously guys, i'm a pantsless cretin through and through and i don't ever want to front on yall i mean i'd love for my legendary ass to have his first real rap show @ darkofest2012. i mean there's a mayan apocalypse coming so why the fuck not.

* high 5 * to y'all cool enough to know that i'm like the KLF (who waved high to me after i sent them the doctor who show... well cauty anyways) --- "i don't want to upset the apple cart, and i don't mean to cause any harm... but if you don't like what i'm gonna do you better not stop me cuz i'm coming through"

so yeah. #csfmb for life y'all.

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you're NOT on drugs ?

So Ivan did you ever give your honest thoughts?

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

I'd like to know what the CSFMB hip/hop aristocracy thinks..

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@audioidkid

it doesn't matter what they think. i know that haiku d'etat is coming to chicago on may 19th and i'm pretty damn sure acey wants me to open for them.

RUH OH, GOTTA UPDATE THE HIP HOP SONG OF THE DAY.... BBAK

hey dougep, first off, that's how you do a fucking twitter name. twitter is like, a blessing.. seriously. i wouldn't anything short of a halfassed emessiah if i didnt use it to get to personally know all of my musical heroes cuz my powers of bullshit are... wheeee. you know why?

CUZ EVERYONE TOLD ME I WAS BULLSHIT FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.

but i was a dopefiend and all... i guess i just wanted to be a badass musical legend. it's why i can't work retail i spose. c'est la vie

* high five to you all *

oh, also, i want you guys to go out there and (if you havent already) find a woman who you dare to ASPIRE LIKE ACER, why? cuz you're duckula motherfucker!!!! >> http://sinicalypse.kaen.org/lawnwake/dj ... ampire.mp3

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jackson pollock can blow me - painting on the floor

...cuz by the end, i gotta take the piss out of you! i love people's assumptions of me. when some shitfuck decided to get buzz for his wbesite by saying that my myspace was the myspace of NIU massmurderer steve kazmierczak (he only stumbled upon it cuz on another forum i was bemoaning steve kazmierczak shoving an aphex twin cd in my face like "oh no, this shithead likes cool music" so that fuck sent the world to my myspace page to be like "OMFG FUCK U SHITHEAD YOU KILLED MY FRIENDS" and there were concerned mothers groups all like "did pork chops make the NIU massmurders happen? (my last blog was about how much i hate fucking pork chops) and like.... then when people noticed my name was JAMES they're all like "..... well he's a ticking time bomb too"

you're damn right i'm a timebomb. it's part of the timelord package deal. shomer shabbos!

yeah so the end of that song up there, or whatever you call it (for dougep/anyone who knows music, i nicked the shit out of the JAMs "top of the pops" cuz i grew up on that stuff) that's me like flipping them all off. i don't even try to fuck lame girls at the bar, but because i'm some sort of wonderful and different compared to your lame program ass you gotta fear me? thanks, go be concerned about your misguided cumshots, mothers!

</rant>

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hey guys, #realtalk --- aceyalone joked about a show here may19 to teach me a lesson about running around shooting my mouth.

"i was getting ahead of myself by the way i could rap" - jay-z

so like, instead imma be out in nyc nailing artist goddesses and working on my new idea, the stereotypical underground song and the stereotypical underground video where i literally use block letter captions in the video to deconstruct scenes typically found in shit videos.

see like, its a fucked up paradigm shift from realizing you're not some loser heroin addict fanboy kid and you're a shot caller. and i think it'd be badass if my first ever rap show was for PANTSLESS CRETINS ONLY @ darkos cuz man, fuck it, the world's gonna figure out someday... but yall my people and you know, it'd be the right thing to do. seriously guys, if you have no idea how i roll.... i'm duckula, bitches! VAMPIRE HALL OF FAME!!!!!!!

dj tim osman - soulless digifunk vampire (13min. promo cut at the end. promise)

god is great guys and i love life like no other... i wake up at ~2:30-3am every day ready to go. off drugs, on point. let's dance bitches!

# james

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oh and because you my people, i'm making a hawk harrelson themed mix today. see thats my gift to the world, i want girls in spain dancing while hawk harrelson tells them to stretch.

i'm like the rug that really ties the room together, do i not?

#WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO </ricflair>

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oh also, cuz i'm true blue montreal expos like why aint new era put the blue hats back out yet? i made this for vlad the other day... he needs to cut the bullshit and go be a PH/DH for the marlins. they're a petri dish of shit and THEY NEED HIM IN TEHRE!!!!!

dj tim osman - pour some out for vlad

anyways, you know what my job is? to listen to like, all these hawk harrelson clips and try to find transitions and references for dance/rap cuts that weave together a story that shows the world how awesome my #1 favorite baseball curmudgeon is. that's my job, i dont even have to get paid for it and imma do it cuz its fun. i hope i can make $$$$ someday, but i dunno, i aint no real rapper like drizzy or lil damn wayne. i aint no real electronic musician like the flashbulb. i'm fake as fuck. GO HOME AND MASTURBATE SINI --- done and done. my house is cool and i only fuck with dimes anyways.

sorry guys its just... i'm about to take over teh damn world as the most badass musician in it so i'm WOOOOOOOO and yeah. its fucked up knowing all of your dreams are gonna come true like george damn carlin showed up and said "hey loser, only your music can save the future... have a time machine why dont ye!" --- mmmm allegory. also, huge carlin guy RIP rufus!

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