alrighty then, since i'm not wanting to go and start up ANOTHER aphex twin thread to cut-n-paste this, i guess i'll use this thread (which hussra had evolved into a general "share some quality techyes links" thread, which btw hey hussra keep on keeping on cuz i'm always down for new quality musics cuz my mp3 player/s can always use a good enema/ReLoading) to drop something i just re-re-re-encountered in my search to find that one thing i wrote about children's hospital --- THE PRINCIPIA APHEXIA (aka my personal endeavor to rip off THE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA (aka "the bible of discordianism") and rework it into "the bible of aphex-twin-branded wannabe-discordianism" ----- so without further adieu in the immortal word/s of mario from the beginning of mario64 - MEX-UH-COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (let's-a-go!!!!!)
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THE PRINCIPIA APHEXIA: A MOVEMENT TO THE PRESUMED-LOST-AND-THUSLY-MYSTERIOUS ANCIENT BEAT OF LIFE
as dictated to a wanton satellite by sinicalypse: the not-quite-endearingly-annoying self-proclaimed 'caustic defenestrator'
>>>
...and so it was handed down to me on the 73rd day of march, in the year of the cuckoo, during a lucid daydream that manifested itself whilst i was masturbating to compromising pictures of kylie minogue in addendum to aurally-usurping the sonic programming of "voodoo people" by the prodigy: divine illumination revealed to me the timeless phrase that i was told adjourns the most important recorded pieces of humanity mostly unknown to humanity:
aphex est a subcriptio professio vestigium in consensio per aphex ratio modica!
knowing not latin, i immediately set to utilize the black magick of internet computer intelligence to tell me what that phrase meant, and all i got was this weird english phrase:
aphex is a subscription monastic rule footstep upon agreement very aphex system moderate
a subscription-based monastic rule?! footsteps upon agreement?! and it's a moderate system at that?! i had to find out just who or what this mystical force "aphex" was and how it, on the 73rd day of march in the year of the cuckoo, was clearly the driving force behind my now-championed life, for i was the one chosen by the heavens to share this divine mandate with the people... but how?1 but what?1 but why?! before i could answer those questions, i needed to clean up the mess that my telepathically sinful pact with miss minogue made on the floor.
"i ripped off the principia discordia and all i got was this eternal-following of the shits"
- j.r. "bob" dobbs
lambe fenestra!
such is the glorious refrain of those who have realized the unequivocal truth: that He who has completed the song of the sacred blentyn yn caru hun o'r tylwyth teg seamlessly glides under us in his submerged chariot of epochless wonder.
[b]lambe fenestra!
for ever since humanity decided to start searching for all that is beyond proper channels of recognition, man has realized the need for there to be a return of the truly divine spirit manifested in a convenient form to lead us all into a new age of... well, i am not here to make promises to you, in fact, i'd much rather you realize the suprise on your own. i shant rob you of the purity of the joy that comes when one discovers THE UNEQUIVOCAL TRUTH™ on his/her own.
lambe fenestra!
"i continued the principia discordia and all i got were unsubstansiated rumors that i wrote the damn thing in the first place!"
- robert anton wilson, known simply as "monday night" RAW to most americans of the globalization epoch
A PERFUNCTORY EXAMINATION OF THE MECHANICS OF PRODIGUS JAMESIAN SYMBOLISM AND IDIOLOGY/ETYMOLOGY
a quick jaunt over to m-w com reveals the fundamental enunciation of "james"
James \ˈjāmz\
this is an amazing revelation that needs to be known by the benjamin creme of the crop, because when i first saw this my countercultureculturalcondition ordered me to think about the JAMs, aka the jovial anarchists of (mellifluous) mischief, who deftly deceived the whole of organized discordia movement by declaring themselves "the justified ancients of (mu) mu, furthermore known as the JAMs" before fucking off proper horrorshow to make way for the worldwide revelation of the existence of the prodigus james.
NOBODY THAT BRILLIANT WOULD DIRECTLY RIP OFF THE BRILLIANCE OF ANOTHER WORK RIGHT BEFORE THEM. NOBODY. EVEN IF THEY LISTED "THE ILLUMINATUS TRILOGY" ON THEIR INFLUENCES SECTION OF THE GREAT MYSPACE MUSIC PAGE OF LIFE.
this begs the question: were the KLF (aka the kunt labia fuckers) really a diversion to herald in the prodigus jamesian age of humanity, or was prodigus jamesianism an offshoot of JAMsism (aka juxtapositional autoerotic (mental) masturbationism)?? the enunciation of james as jam*z* shows that, indeed, prodigus jamesianism could very well be post-JAMsian endeavour because only masters of culture and style can dare to flip around an S into a Z: look further than the timeless philosophical recording "niggaz4life" for from-the-streets concrete evidence of said phenomenon. if the album was called "niggas4life" methinks gangsta rap would have never been the timeless ode to the struggle of mankind that it truly was, is, and always will be.
then again, was the concept of JAMsism given to us in order to provide a brandworthy-base of neo-discordian excellence of which the prodigus james would come in and usurp, and move to newer and greater heights?!
LAMBE FENESTRA!!!: THE DECLARATION OF S/HE WHO HAS ASCENDED THE SEVEN STEPS OF E.P. AND THUSLY BECOME PROPERLY LIT!!@
these are the fundamental mysteries of humanity, and if you would like to decode them i suggest you find a nice neo/rosicrucian organization who will gladly, in exchange for money and/or your soul, teach you the methods necessary for decoding the fumdamental(ly lost) mysteries of humanity. we here in the veritable jamestown colony of the new world are too busy not being arsed. we have more important things to do, however telling you about them would defeat our perpetual quest to become a legend so it's better that we not reveal our activites to you at this time.
"...this is so late 90s why don't you listen to something more modern?"
- an enlightened mind worried about his carbon footprint on the moon surface, no doubt
* IT HAS BEEN PASSED ON TO ME THROUGH A BACKMASKED APHEX TWIN SONG that you are now to google pictures of 'kelly key' who by all accounts is a much more aesthetically gifted rendition of kylie minogue from brazil, which means she is another riddle on the seven step path to E.P. illumination, for terry gilliam wrote and directed the movie "brazil" which is unequivocally a prophetic vision of our distopian future and is thusly somewhat-equivocal truth. not to mention, once again symbolically speaking, if kelly is the key we here in the aphexian movement are indeed opening up whatever the fuck she unlocks *
NOW THE UNELIGHTENED MIND OF A TECHNOCRATIC WHALE-HUNTING CHEMO PATIENT THOUGHLY PUSHED BY THEE SQUARE/S MIGHT ASK "sini, what exactly is the seven step path to E.P. illumination?! and keep it quick because the almighty malevolence of the infinite darkness known simply as "tl;dr" lurks***
oh ho ho ho, mary christmas the patron-sipping whore of carnal materialism, they shall be revealed to you at the perfect intersection at time and space when your feeble mind is ready to understand the magnitude of the commitment one makes to aphex*ianism when their mind challenges itself to understand the timeless doctrine of unequivocal correctness that aphex**ianism was born upon.
*/** = aphex est a subcriptio professio vestigium in consensio per aphex ratio modica!
*** = more on the tyrannical lord: dennis rodman later on
"why do you think the illuminati got rid of milkmen decades before the word of the prodigus one reached us!?"
- anonymous weed dealer circa 1997
A VISUAL GUIDE TO THE SYMBOLISM OF THE PRODIGUS JAMES:
note the prominence of both the numher 23 in the center-ish region of the picture and then note the pyramid in the upper right hand corner with an english inscription at its base proudly decreeing chosen mystic name of prodigus james (we can't be arsed to chant the latin right now) along with a halo-laden reminder of unisexuality "girl/boy" unisexuality is key, for any attempt at pure/timeless brotherhood in the prodigus james movement is quite frankily a bit gay for our tastes (a predecessor of prodigus james, the KLF (aka the khaos loving fucktards), remedied this clerical problem by simply putting women in robes adjourned with their logo). i am divinely ordained to remind all prodigiously jamesian brotherhoods to exist in accordance with the ways of the SSMT, aka the sisterhood of the superior music tastes, en route to complete illumination upon one's ascension upon thee SEVEN STEPS OV E.P. ON THE PATH TO APHEXIANISM!!@
"what the fuck are you on about?"- orangedust, a presumably-dead ancient warrior of the aphexian cause.
aphex ydy danysgrifiad monastic llywia camre ar chydfod iawn aphex chyfundrefn arafa
^^^ = and what is that you might ask?! that is the MOST BRILLIANT language of the ancient mysteries, welsh, and a language i instructed my internet-based-computers to try use in an attempt to decode the brilliantly encoded latin sent to me by god Himself that one fateful day in the year of the cuckoo. turning the original latin into welsh gave me that phrase, which roughly translates to:
aphex he is being subscription. I rule walk signs agreement right aphex system
i knew i was on the path, for when decreeing that poignant phrase in latin, there is a slightly hidden means of saying "i rule", which indeed i do, therefore i went and got another pack of cigarettes put my heavily-damaged nose to the grindstone: aphex is a subscription, therefore you need to subscribe akin to a religion. then when you do, you rock, and then... walk signs agreement, right?! aphex system. this is some sort of syntax that i dare not understand, so i needed to go back to the computer and juxtapose this against more tongues, seeing as aphexianism, as i understand it, is the UNEQUIVOCAL TRUTH in the realm of all ancient mysteries, therefore i would be a fool to not include any languages.
keep in mind, i am using computers because the later works of aphex twin use computers to reach humanity's full potential, in a way that on the surface would be evidence to the unenlightened of a future totaltarian technocracy however when invoking the name of aphex twin He transcends any possible technocracy because he is the creator of IDM, aka, indisputedly divine music, which cannot be merely categorized into techno.
a paradigm shift of this new phrase into german, the language that all secret satanic/demonic/philharmonic/anything-ic societies probably started in (because nothing sounds benevolent in german) reveals:
aphex er ist dasein Beitrag ICH Vorschrift wandeln Schilder Abkommen richtig aphex System ICH träge
which when properly posessed then exorcised through a translation back into the queen's tongue reveals the stunning declaration:
"aphex he is life contribution self regulation modifiers signs agreement right aphex system self system I slow"
so let us decode this phrase with a bit of punctuation (black magick wielding computers don't care about punctuation because, little known fact: they all worship at the altar of e.e. cummings) and see what it is really telling us:
aphex: he is life, contribution, self-regulation.modifiers? [insert rhetorical answer here. i presume NO]signs? [well, duh, we have presented a few already so YES]agreement? [of course]right.aphex system? i slow.
you see, even this brilliant declaration of the true meaning of life confesses that it's rather slow in the wake of an aphex system. aren't we all?! i'm afraid this will require more investigation which i shall gladfully report on later.
THEE SEVEN STEPS TO E.P.
TALES FROM THE LEGEND OF APHEX TWIN as conscribed to me by a cool old guy with a beard who smoked good pot with me in 2005.
before aphex twin existed as a musical entity, he was an interdimensional time-traveling superhero who combed the cosmos looking for adventure which would later inspire his humanity saving works.
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SPOILER ALERT: for anyone who braved it this far, basically i was fucking with a translation gimmick starting with english and going to latin, then going to german and then going back to english [drop the engrish transration and decode "hidden meanings"] and then back to latin, then to something else like spanish, go back to engrish and decode; and THEN back to latin, then maybe something like french and then back to engrish, decode, and so on and so forth.
the phrase i was having fun with was ""Aphex is a registered trademark of Aphex Systems Limited and is used by permission", which used to appear on every vintage proper-aphex-twin (as opposed to "AFX") EP/LP/12"/CD/ETC back in the day. evidently a company called aphex systems LLC did some sort of compression hardware years ago and that name inspired richard james to come up with aphex twin (and the twin part might be in honor of his stillborn "older brother" who technically had the same name as him (as after the original "richard james" died lorna+derek james named their next kid the same name: richard d. james (hence the gravestone on the cover of the girl/boy EP)
TLDR = disregard me; i suck cocks!
</psycho> =P
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