so yeah hey my previous efforts have been bogged down with bloviating and braggadocio and all that, so let's try it again without pretense or protoss (cuz i was always a fan of the "why dont you guys fight over there and let me cool out over here and try to build up a posse of 28 yamato battlecruisers?" strategy in korea's most pastime: starcraft.

tonight (so far) ...

- i found a ridiculously nice dj quik beat called tonight and was pretty good about getting up for it.

- i finally got around to starting off the loltechre (rapping on autechre) project i've wanted to do for years by trying to break down my flow and make it more robotic and glitchy by hopping on this track called clipper off of the vintage autechre LP tri repetae

and if anyone cares about other forms of social media, well i have a ton of them so if i ever feel excessively preachy or babbling like phil brooks on a promo rampage i can just spread it around so i don't bury too many people. my main twitter is @jamesschaefer37 (tho formally it's @sinicalypse and @emessiah which ended up becoming time capsules due to artistic forces beyond my comprehension.... like forgetting one-off passwords =) and umm i'm doing a bunch of fun shit on tiktok primarily as @mindway6 @emessiah and @anvilbait. instagram is primarily @sinicalypse @anvilbait @admiralsaveahoe sometimes. i honestly dont think any of you fools wanna snapchat me so i'll leave those buried.

but yeah hey if anyone has any ideas requests or whatever i do parties (especially bar-mitzvahs) and seriously in terms of djing.... the motherlode is @ http://sinicalypse.kaen.org/mixes (except for a nice one called cool as ice which i evidently have to re-rip and stuff cuz i think the original mp3 was lost when i nuked my file host on new years 2018 after being pissed off at being fucked with cuz.... well when you dj as emessiah you must be tortured for your art. part and parcel with the whole messianic complex you were shoved down when you started calling bulletin boards in the early-mid 90s. what can i say?

and btw with my glitchy as shit djing stuff.... do you have any idea how ridiculously easy it is to just do "mixes" like quick little transitions at the end of untouched songs and whatnot? i bet you i could do a hell of a radio show.... but lamentably nobody wants to ever find out. i figured working for amazon might allow me to eventually slip out of logistics and into the tech side someday.... but we'll see if i can blow up my body with manual labor first cuz i lack the "one year of corporate experience" to get the fuck out of dodge. if only there were some mythical wondergirl to save me.... ah well. lord knows that doesnt exist cuz i technically have to beg to be able to pay for sex, and i'm all out of money [price is right losing horn goes HERE (url limit)]

anyways see y'all in the future mcfly family!

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oh yeah and if anyone wants to mess with stuff i've already done.... i have a bunch of the written rap songs i've done in http://sinicalypse.kaen.org/trax --- i have a bunch of the instrumentals i've used @ http://sinicalypse.kaen.org/instrumentals and i have a metric assload of acapellas @ http://sinicalypse.kaen.org/acapellas

and if you guys need samples go to http://sinicalypse.kaen.org/stash11 and then start changing the #s to like stash12 stash 13 and stash14 so on and so forth. i think there's upwards of like 20-30 stash folders with #s going into like 50 and 99 and stuff and obviously there's /stash /stash2 /stash3 all the way up to /stash10 and yeah. there's my contribution to helping others get off the ground running to making some hopefully decent/++ music (whether it's technically variations of what i've already done or not) so in the immortal words of uncle im cornette.... thank you fuck you bye! or as i like to say, take care give hell stay excellent!

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oh yeah and hey if you look at my youtube page these last couple'a months have been plagued by the #freestylerscurse aka "fuck you i'm not writing / reciting raps like i used to unless i can get some kind of financial relief for my efforts" and then my power cord for my main computer / sequencer broke so i can't do my good enough quality writtens like i used to right now cuz i cant get a decent sequencer going on my laptop, hence the stuff that says (bootleg) in the title is a written thing i've done over the last month or two.

if you scroll down to out of touch pretty much anything below that is a written unless otherwise noted as a freestyle. and up until that out of touch deal (early december i wanna say?) i was on a really really good run of written stuff (minus one track where i was obviously too high for my own good and it's a pretty interesting look at the core of me as you can see what i am versus what hacking my brain does to me) and ummm one of my favorite retellings of the "holy shit i love that chick" (you know the one, we'll just let it go without saying in this thread lest curious hair show up again and start calling her a victim even tho technically i was wayyyy more victimized first if you wanna get technical 0=) is this one cut called where is mission control? which is like the scifi version of the other retelling i did on a tame impala beat (thank you mati) called same person new old problems

then as far as those freestyles go one of the more fun/inspired ones i did was called i need an evan day (courtesy of the red white and blue) cuz i did a freestyle on top of courtesy of the red white and blue karaoke version of the toby keith classic. the evan day is a reference to one of my managers at work, evan, being a much cooler / chill dude as opposed to the OG flex machine himself andrew being the kind of guy who always wanted you on top of metrics updating on the radio every 5-10mins.... so it worked out that i was on back half of the week with andrew 4/5 days but the first 1-2 days with evan was around was like ahhh yeah cool cuz dude's a bassist in a wicked metal band called MH chaos (a band name i know nothing about or have no experience with cuz that MH stands for "multiple homefront" whereas my MH is clearly mental health cuz i wanna talk about lil miss matisen hauert too much. but she's a self-training actress who i think mastered human psychology around the time she hit puberty and being the most beautiful creature on this planet suddenly had to deal with an influx of people coming at her wanting her body. sounds liek a bad dream in inception nightmare but hey for her troubles she got this song out of me on top of the classic miljbone beat that jay-z and big-L famously freestyled on



[message split up into 2 cuz of url limit... hold on]

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and to end up the ol girl rant.... i wrote a lot of songs about her trying to put her over cuz like.... man, with her you realize if you ever really want a chance with her you're on her time her schedule her master plan all of her bullshit you name it. she's trained me by showing off that she'll go have a bunch of """boyfriends""" and all this stuff that hardens you up at the core when you gotta watch her kissing other nasty asswipes when you know you're the guy she wants loves and needs so much she's probably afraid to let me know how much she loves my attention deep down that she ran away to start up her own legend since i'm pretty convinced she grew up hearing my old EP "supreme pizza: legend of the modelfucker" at an impressionable (read: jailbait) age and thus she decided i was hers and started to figure out where i hung out online and spun off into a bunch of different identities (cuz she gets help in this game, let alone being a script kiddie in every since of the word) and she was there on IRC with me chatting sports playing fantasy baseball with me (in my own league no less! shocking!) and that means chus and others here who got in my league were also pedophiles with me so thereyago! i guess she grew up wanting to be the "legendary model/actress" to my "legendary modelfucker" ?? lol!!

for one gimmick her cover story was that she worked late night shifts at arbys serving roast beef to the desperate souls in south bend indiana, cubs fan ofc, and s/he used to give me inordinate amounts of shit for being a loser who lived at home with grandpa and did nothing with his life. at least in the soccer channel i was an arsencute goddammit!

so yeah thats about all i have to say about her. she's truly the most amazing specimen of humanity i've ever been able to behold (IRL i've been limited to glimpses and teases but if you beleive in wild stories, max landis the director of american ultra follows her art account @matknowsart on instagram (@whatyearwasit is her main one if you wanna see her "legendary model" powers. http://rotf.lol/worldsmostgirl will take you right to my favorite post of hers... the one where she turned the space jam logo into an ace1/aceyalone shotout while quoting one of my old e-mails to her. she replied to the first few e-mails i sent her and then kinda stopped cuz her game is to allow me certain ways to pump content to her but she only replies to me through symbolism and her art and stuff. and if you know what she's on about and look at her tiktok pages @iwantyoutomeetyourself and @imgunuhthrowup i mean... this chick is honestly the most intelligent person i've ever had the unique privilege of spending a couple'a weeks of my e-life with... she's an "it getter" in every sense of the word insomuchas she told me she was literally was her hometown town whore and she had AAAA LOT of sex and in fact she fucks so much she fucks til she pukes, pukes, then goes back to fuck again... hence @imgunuhthrowup on tiktok. but be warned she's a total actress and i think most of her act is convincing the world she's a normal thot like you and me cuz deep down this chick is weapons grade amazing and i made the fucking mistake of telling her when i first formally met her that she should stick with me cuz i wanna weaponize her and within a few years she could be a legitimate problem for the world (i estimated she'd be able to levitate/hover/fly and have fully functional eye lazers by her mid-late 20s....

i made a couple'a "proper albums" for her which i have up on my filehost with the mp3s all properly tagged and labeled so if you download them to your phone or computer they'll show up as proper albums in your mp3 player du jour. first one was http://sinicalypse.kaen.org/makeminea99problems from 2018, and the second one was http://sinicalypse.kaen.org/smileinyourdreams from my lost summer of 2020. and i gotta mention her in this thread cuz like, all the beats from that smile in your dreams album were provided by her. i used to nick beats from her playlists back in 2020 but then she streamlined it and got my attention and it was like "omfg i forgot how brilliant she is" (cuz she's honestly so beautiful and brilliant i literally had to forget over the last few years where i was getting acquainted with amazon and hopefully setting up a dynamic evolving relationship going forward as my body physically starts to break down from living on the cutting edge of adventure for the last 20yrs or so) and seriously without matisen inspiring me to want to make all these songs for the most amazing girl on this planet and then giving me all these beats i'd have no idea to ever use without her.... man, i know nobody wants to believe me and/or everyone just wants to shit-talk me into oblivion but seriously even in formal absentia she's been working with me this whole time we've been apart. i wish i didnt have to see her kiss lame assholes for the "dating an actress" training module (cuz once i've had a chance to physically consummate my feelings for her in a proper manner and she knows the beast she's been fucking with for far too long and i know she knows then i wont have anything to worry about, but until then.... man it's been so hard to just not want to scream as loud as i can or start breaking shit cuz it's so frustrating to have the love of your life be so beautiful (when i first saw her on a stream she was so beautiful i was speechless for 5+ mins just kind of OH MY FUCKING GOD... **THIS*** IS WHO I'VE SPENT THE LAST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE SOUL-MATING WITH?!?! with her you just gotta put on blinders cuz if she uses her aesthetics on you you're fucking done. she's unbeatable that way, like seriously in terms of the electricity between us she's AC alternating current to my DC direct current meaning she has so many styles to flip through i seriously have a list of looks and outfirts from her past i want her to cosplay as with me someday... and me i'm just boring old direct like no mystery i'll just fucking tell you stuff.

and btw here's another song i know she loved back in the day. after i made it in 2018 she made the line about resurrecting lil peep her instagram bio for a few weeks cuz like... despite her monumental great wall of silence with me for 4+ years (minus that time i legit didnt look at her social media for 9+ months and i got over her and then once i paid a little attention to her whaddya know all of a sudden she wants to talk to me on the phone for an hour to get me hooked again but then once she does that once..... zip! back to her game... cuz she had some thing about the 48 laws of power that she had me read when we had our two week eharmonyDOTcom compatibility test, so of course i had to turn around and flip that back to her as a song. and she was big on letting me know she was the devil during those two weeks. i guess she wanted me to know how hard it was going to be back then cuz like.... man. i figured out that like once we meet IRL it's game over for the both of us.... so she ran, she ran so far away... trying to avoid yoko ono status cuz if you ever get me going and get me some help and especially toss in a few bucks for finance/promo/etc.... it's game over. i can pretty easily be the greatest (underground?) white rapper of all time, cuz ask anyone i work with... once you combine that professionalism / work ethic i have IRL with my delusional fantasy of being a rapper that's worth caring about.... yeap. i only need to get better at living life cuz like... the concessions i made to be able to do what i do meant that i couldnt focus on most of the "stupid human tricks" that people do to have successful dynamic domestic lives.... but i figured that'd be easy to figure out later, especially when i found someone who truly loved me and wanted to help me get better at life cuz like.... whats the fun if i'm the one who's hanging about like the professor? the greatest gift she could ever give me is letting me learn from her and her ways cuz like... trust me on this one, she truly is the most amazing specimen of so-called humanity i've encountered in my life. and uhhh yeah she happens to be insanely hot and dynamic and just like.... so many times i feel like we're so damn close i just killed it so hard on a song or artistic thing and then nope another false this and that and nothing. and once i figured out i cant have access to any of the legendary musicians / rappers i've gone out of my way to befriend and covertly work with over the years until she shows up... thats why it gets so frustrating. but at the end of the day she's a lil peep worshipping mallgoth and when she stnads before the might of me and my 28 yamato battlecruisers all she can do is run and hide and deny deny deny and parlor tricks and OMFG LOOK AT ME I'M SO HOT cuz she knows if she ever gave me achance to just take her out on one lil piurposely high school as fuck date.... it's all over. neither of us would ever escape each other ever again. and then the real revolution co would start brewing and uhhh.... [SPOILERS]

c'est la me, no?

and after this bit i promise i wont go on and on about her again. i wont spam any pictures or anything, but i'd be disingenuous if i didnt include her in my story cuz she's been a huge part of it and i'm not doing all the cool shit i'm doing now without her in my life, no matter how much she technically isn't in my life (if you really wanna believe that sort of thing to feel better about yourself =)

hasta

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ok so this morning i discover that in the last week or so snoop dee oh double gizzle fa rizzle my nizzle dropped a new album in the last week and it is absolute fire. snoop went out of his way to pull a redman and rap as good as he ever did in his prime even tho it's 2022. and this one track of his called crip ya expectations has an absolutely mental F-YEAH beat that we rap people colloquially refer to as a slapper

so once i realized the ruler of my doggy dogg world was classy enough to make sure all the instrumentals for these joints hit youtube i got so excited i grabbed my pen and notebook and got to work, and in appx 45mins i wrote this cut here (and yes i am having technical issues where i cant make written tracks at the same levels of quality you've come to expect from me circa 2018-22(aka "the matisen era" of my career cuz i truly "mastered the art" once i realized there was a girl worth fighting for. sorry i'm a hopeless romantic you little babies >=)

AHEM. yeah in terms of riding my classic "junkie superhero" persona to be more accessible to people who want eminem 2: electric messiah boogaloo as opposed to my "natural" style where i'm chock full of lamentably-too-esoteric references to dope bits of culture that the mainstream somehow missed out on since at least 1997, yeah.... its kind of like my other OMFG THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SINI SLOWS DOWN AND DOESNT NEED TO TRANSLATE HIS REFERENCE LIBRARIAN WET DREAM STUFF FOR THE PROLES!!!! CUT --- I'M YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER!! --- this is what everybody's been afraid of.... if i'm allowed to like myself for too long and i get going... yeah i coulda messed up the grand secret plan that was so secret i never even knew about it even tho i was literally what, at least 40-60% of the plan? yeah. i'm a secret agent so secret that i never even knew i was an agent in the first place. but i'll help you book the finish to your match nah'mean? THANK YOU DRIVE THRU!!!!!

and hey to everyone who's secretly been a fan for years... thanks for keeping it cool and professional and all but i think eventually we should hit a point where ppl can just be like hey i enjoyed that song you made and i can say thanks and we can get on with our lives knowing that i'm the future of classy direct current electronic fanservice cuz like the generation/s b4 me felt like they had to hide behind mults to not freak out little kids like OMFG SON YOU'RE TALKING TO ***THE*** APHEX TWIN!!! BETTER KEEP YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!! but hey thats why i'm a better rapper than aphex twin. he had too many synthesizers on the brain to not know rap from rap like DIE ANTWOORD?!?!?! c/m asap/rn rdj. we need to do some fun stuff together mr ball.

and for the record i was pretty damn good in 2008 as well, i just wasnt playing 4D chess yet cuz i didnt know that there was a game and i am the ball too and like.... wow. lets go fuck up some zakus in the 08th ms team OVA, eh?

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and btw i have a playlist with either 120something or 140something of my rap songs all cobbled together. a lot of the odds and ends from my hypercreativity around spring 2018 is in there and IMHO thats been the creative peak and apex of what i've done, even tho now i'm technically way more confident and better at being a brand/product/rapper in terms of my pure spirit and OMFG I AM NOT A NUMBER I AM A FREE MAN stuff i still think the stuff i did back in morton grove in 2018 was way more like.... man. idk it just feels more special to me. put on a track of mine line dummy or give thanks and you'll see thats the time where i kind of subliminably realized i was getting pretty damn good at it, but my mental health issues prevented me from ever fully realizing how good i was so i ust kept on going and going and going because when a girl like matisen teases you with the ultimate companionship in life you either swing for the fences or you get fenced into a lame life of accepting anything less than what you deserve as the victim of the world's most stalker*** pterodactyl tackle ***

and umm i have made this http://rotf.lol/sinicalypse link to get to my youtube playlist of all my proper written rap songs as opposed to all the freestyle crap i've been doing lately. dont get me wrong i'm a legit freestyle heavyweight but still man, the written stuff is better for a reason. and i'm only going to get way better at it once i get to hang with legit professionals who do it for a living and i can learn some tips and tricks from people dope enough to not feel threatened by another dope rapper who is a DJ first / wannabe electronic musician second and i'll acknowledge that rap was always kind of a cult of personality thing that i figured i could use to meet chicks and/or get money en route to my real passion.... sharing music i love and defacing it by daring to insert myself inside of it and then go full on electrogremlin inside of the trump tower in gremlins 2 and who saves the day at the end of the movie? you damn right!

again thats http://rotf.lol/sinicalypse if you wanna avoid all of my recent sloppy freestyles and just listen to a bunch of superior product that i've put out. and you know, thats not even my legit career thats just me warming up. i cant wait to do this stuff for real someday.

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SHE FINALLY TOSSED ME A FRICKIN BONE!!!!!11 VICTORY SUNDAY ENSUES!!!!!!

per usual i've been working whatever channel/s/ she gives me cuz i keep her fed with my bullshit and lately things keep getting better and better so over the last few days i've really been putting in work to the point where i kinda had that feeling of dread like she possesses the unique ability to kick my ass all over the place cuz i'm totally vulnerable to her cuz she's just about the only person whom i really care about what she thinks of me.... and to see her obviously be like "get yourself off to me and take a look at what i got for you" --- oh dude. there's a reason i renamed my original "this is what sex with me is like" song on top of my life with the thrill kill kult's sexplosion! to queen baby's toy cuz like... man, seriously, this is THE chick so you throw the fuck down for her.

and obviously my shit's worked since day one, but after 4.5+yrs of stringing me along she's kept it fresh enough to where when she just goes BLAM i still fucking swoon like we're playing final fantasy and imma need some fenix down funk to get me the necessary dose of pep i need to get my step properly poppin and man, just imagine if i had my own place.... she prolly woulda moved in a couple'a months ago =/

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