SHUTTING DOWN INTERNET WRESTLING SHOW WITH QUESTIONABLE SMELL REMINDED ME TO CHECK ON CONTRACTORS FOR POST-WRESTLEMANIA PARTY. SEATING NOT ON SCHEDULE, PLANS FOR JR'S DEATH IN A TOGA INCOMPLETE. ZERO WOOD.

ASKED JOHNNY ACE IF WE HAVE SECURED THE LARGE, SPRAY PAINTED HISPANIC MAN WE HAD FACE UNDERTAKER. I HAVE GIANT PARTY PLANS INTENDED FOR HIM. PUN INTENDED. HE AGAIN SAID IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT, I AGAIN HUNG UP ON HIM.

RECEIVED CEASE-AND-DESIST REQUEST FROM CRAZY OCTOGENARIAN. WIPED ASS WITH IT. SENDING HIM RESPONSE VIA FEDEX. SHOULD GET THERE RIGHT AFTER ST. PATRICKS DAY. SLAINTE YOU FUCKER.

AS OF NOW, RSVP LIST IS JOHNNY ACE, SON-IN-LAW PAUL, WHORE NUMBER 3 WHO ESCORTED MISS ELIZABETH KILLER TO RING, PAT PATTERSON, AND I.R.S. MINOR WOOD. FRUSTRATED.

SON-IN-LAW PAUL SUGGESTED WE HAVE MOTORHEAD OPEN PARTY BY SINGING AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL. JUSTIFIED AS TRYOUT FOR WRESTLEMANIA 29. HE'S LUCKY HIS WIFE IS HOT. I MUST LIVE FOREVER. I'M GOING TO FIND A WAY TO CRUSH STEM CELLS INTO PROTEIN DRINKS.

DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY. FUCK YOU.

HAD MANDATORY/OPTIONAL/MANDATORY 4:30 AM EASTERN SUNDAY MEETING FOR POST-WRESTLEMANIA PARTY WITH WRESTLEMANIA NINE THEME. STILL PONDERING AN IDEA WRITER MONKEY DEVELOPED WITH WHAT HE/SHE CALLED THEATRICS. DONE PONDERING. IT SUCKS.

A GUY LIKE ME COULD PROMOTE A TIM TEBOW, JEREMY LIN, AND DANICA PATRICK PORNOGRAPHY MOVIE. I'M CALLING SON-IN-LAW PAUL. HIS RESPONSE WILL NOT IMPACT THIS FOCUS.

Was WM9 the "Toga" themed one? Wasn't it also the one were Hogan ass-fucked the wrestling community and made them smell his shit dick afterwards when he "rescued" Brett Hart?

Horrible.

Yep. probably the worst Mania of all time. Plus Hogan had the shiner, Brutus had the facemask, all sorts of bad.

Yep. probably the worst Mania of all time. Plus Hogan had the shiner, Brutus had the facemask, all sorts of bad.

and you had a countout (tatanka vs hbk) and 2 other matches that ended in DQ (hogan match and taker vs giant gonz). throw in the hogan cluster and that's one bad mania.

INSISTED YOUNG LOOKING AGENT KIDMAN STAY FOR SUNDAY FUN DAY. WHILE INITIALLY RELUCTANT AND WEAK LIKE MY SON SHANE, WE ARE NOW BLAZING HARD, SHARING STORIES ABOUT TORRIE WILSON. WRESTLEMANIA POST-PARTY WILL BE TAKING MANY DIRECTIONS TODAY. WOOD!

EXPLAINING TO KIDMAN I COULD CREATE A TIME MACHINE. KIDMAN SHEEPISHLY NODDING. WELL BUILT GUY NAMED LEX WHO KILLED MISS ELIZABETH STILL HASN'T RETURNED CALLS FOR HIS ASSASSINATION AT POST-WRESTLEMANIA PARTY WITH WRESTLEMANIA NINE THEME. WOOD LESSENING.

KIDMAN, ACTING LIKE MY WEAK SON SHANE, SUGGESTED LEAVING FOR "CONCERN OF HEALTH." I QUESTIONED IF HE WAS LEAVING "LIKE WCW DIVA I DEFILED PRIOR AND AFTER HIRING LEFT HIM." KIDMAN TOOK TWO MORE BUMPS LIKE A STRONG COMPANY PRODUCER. I'M GOING TO HAVE HIM RIP OUT PORTION OF SEATS I DON'T LIKE FOR POST-WRESTLEMANIA PARTY WITH WRESTLEMANIA NINE THEME. MILD WOOD.

THIS KIDMAN IS GOING PLACES. if HE DOESN'T CALL MALENKO RIGHT NOW.

PARAMEDICS ARE GONE. KIDMAN, ARN, AND MALENKO ARE NOW HERE. CALLING SON-IN-LAW PAUL. DESPITE THE UPROAR I SHOULD HAVE HAD FILMED, DAMMIT, I STILL HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT THE AVAILABILITY OF SPRAY PAINTED HISPANIC MAN THAT FACED TAKER AT WRESTLEMANIA NINE. ZERO WOOD. FUCK YOU.

KIDMAN IS LUCKY NO MAJOR ENTERTAINMENT EVENTS ARE HAPPENING TONIGHT. I WOULD HAVE LET HIM DIE BY DARWIN'S LAW OF VINCE.

ARN SAYS I'M PULLING A "TULLY" RIGHT NOW. I'M TELLING ARN HE'S PULLING WITH ONE ARM. HE DOESN'T KNOW HE JUST BECAME RING ANNOUNCER OF POST-WRESTLEMANIA PARTY WITH WRESTLEMANIA NINE THEME AS "FINKUSONEARNAMOUS." I'M SURE THIS WILL MAKE SENSE TOMORROW. WHERE'S STEPHANIE?

SITTING IN HOT TUB, KIDMAN IS SCARED LIKE SON SHANE. WEAK, NOT REALIZING I HAVE SUNNY, REAL NAME TAMMY, A FAX AWAY.

KIDMAN HAS BEEN USHERED OUT BY SECURITY/MEDICAL PERSONNEL. HE'S NOW REFERRED TO AS SHANE KIDMAN. ARN AND MALENKO ARE READY TO BURN THE AFTER MIDNIGHT OIL. CONTEMPLATING PRANK ON WOMAN WHO LIVES HERE THAT IS RUNNING FOR SENATOR IN CONNECTICUT.

WALKING MY GROUNDS, CONTEMPLATING LIFE. THE GRASS SMELLS OF ME. DID I MAKE PEOPLE DO STEROIDS? DID PEOPLE DIE ON MY WATCH? WHERE'S MELINA, FORMERLY KNOWN AS WWE DIVA MELINA? HA HA. TIME FOR SPINNING. WHERE DID BILL EADIE COME FROM. SHIT.

JUST RECEIVED CALL FROM TED TURNER. HE'S READY TO BURY THE HATCHET, AND DELIVER ME SPRAY PAINTED HISPANIC MAN THAT FACED UNDERTAKER AT WRESTLEMANIA NINE FOR POST-WRESTLEMANIA PARTY WITH WRESTLEMANIA NINE THEME. ENJOY THAT LAND TED. I WIN AGAIN.