I know I haven't called you in a while and that we had a pretty nasty breakup in the 90's but I recently started thinking about you and the good times we used to have. Remember that time with Eddy the Eagle, Chelios, and Roenick when you weren't a crap team? Yeah, that was good times.

I know we haven't talked much, but I saw you at the United Center last week and you looked good. You still made me mad by losing but I had that feeling that reminded me of the good times. I've missed you and you seem to have changed. I have a renewed sense of optimism.

You even called me the next day and asked if I wanted to come see you again. You offered a discounted rate but I don't know what that means. You never were a good value but maybe since you've had so many people dump you recently you are actually reconsidering how high maintenance you were in the past.

My only reservation is that as soon as I start to get involved with you again that you'll ditch me and go on strike again or that you'll not care about the fan base again and I'll be forced to cry in my room for 8 months straight.

Anyways, I'm giving you this late night voicemail to let you know that it was nice seeing you and maybe I'll see you at the United Center again sometime. I'll even bring the Vanilla Ice mix tape you made for me.

Bye.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Welcome back Rick.

Might I suggest adopting Adam Burish as your new favorite player?

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It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a goddamn shame.

http://www.TheCommittedIndian.com/

I liked Burish, but I also liked Sharp and Kane. It was awesome watching Kane almost score on a breakaway and then almost on a penalty shot. It was almost awesome.

Hockey is still the best sporting event to watch live.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Dear Rick,

Thank you for the kind words. We have missed you and understand your frustrations. For the most part we really have been jerks over the past fifty years.

As we have a new administration that expects honesty, we have to be honest with you. Its best to stay away for at least a few more years.

You see, a lot of blame is still on our commish, who has consistently made changes to worsen the state of this great sport. Until he is removed, hockey will continue to flounder.

Also, while we dont say it in our promos, we are in a rebuilding phase. Dale is doing a so-so job, but hasnt really been able to properly evaluate talent in big trades and free agent acquisitions. Havlat has been injured every year since joining us, Aucion was a bust and Khabibulan has proven he has fallen off his game. Our coach is also so-so, having not been able to win consistently with a team and probably needing some work in the minors. Our highly touted first rounder from last year will need several years of seasoning and lots of weight to be able to perform at this level. Also, our defense is just not that good.

Hope we didn't burst your bubble too hard, and we hope to see you again soon!

Yours Always,

The Blackhawks

P.S., when you do come back, could you bring some scantly clad 18 year old girls? Thanks!

I would have suggested Sharp if I didn't already adopt him myself 4 years ago when he was destroying the Wolves in the Calder Cup Finals in the AHL for the Philadelphia Phantoms. One of the few deals that Uncle Dale has made that has worked out for the Hawks has been getting Sharp for a bag of pucks. He is one of the most positionally sound players you will ever watch, and can skate like the wind.

_________________
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a goddamn shame.

http://www.TheCommittedIndian.com/