Keyser Soze wrote:
Yeah, managing baseball games based on situations and matchups....what a novel idea.
I remember going to Yankees stadium back in 2008.... I saw David Price's MLB debut, it was a splendid game. Once the Rays got within ~3-4 runs with runners on in the 9th, the stadium started blaring Metallica's "Enter Sandman" and everyone got pumped up as Mariano Rivera trotted out there to rain hellfire upon the hapless Rays... but then they got a LH pinch hitter up and the record literally scratched as the needle was yanked from the groove... Joe Girardi frantically ran out to the mound and stopped Mariano in his tracks and said "DUDE! THEY'RE PUTTING A
LEFT-HANDED HITTER UP THERE! THEY'RE GOING TO FUCK YOU UP, MARIANO!!!!Looking with my binoculars, I could clearly see that Joe Girardi had indeed soiled himself, no doubt contemplating the prospects of having a RH closer face LH hitters.
The stadium reacted with fear and loathing, if not outright horror at this prospect of a RHP facing a LH batter... little kids started crying everywhere, storm clouds gathered over the stadium. God parted the clouds and said "JOE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!" and then the tension built up so high you could cut it with a motivated spork. Then, as if something out of a hollywood movie, Damaso Marte rode in on a white horse and belted out "FEAR NOT, GENTLEMEN, I AM LEFT HANDED AND THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF BASEBALL ACUMEN HAS TAUGHT ME THAT I AM THE IDEAL MAN FOR THIS SITUATION!"
At that moment, at least 10,000 people in yankee stadium came in their pants... their fears were alleviated, for what kind of ruin could await Mariano Rivera if he were to face one or maybe even two left-handed batters?! Baseball as we know it would cease to exist... his career would be over, for all of his previous success was clearly the result of expert-managing that had him avoid left-handed hitters like the plague.... you know the battle-cry... REMEMBER MARK GRACE! REMEMBER MARK GRACE!
(for the record, yes, I was one of the ~10,000 people that came right on the spot. What can I say, it was the mystique and aura)
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Curious Hair wrote:
Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?