Okay kids.... here's the skinny.

Somewhere along the way, I think somebody confused the MJF outing on June 11 with the Manniversary outing. I agreed to hold two foursomes for you guys for the June outing and I will be posting soon on how we shake all that out. If I screwed this up, I apologize, but we only have one foursome to give awayo to CSFMB and I'd like to break it down to two twosomes.

Here's the assignment:

Take 5 time... what are the five lowest moments in MJH history. Points awarded for the funniest entries. Dig deep. Minimum post requirement is 1000 posts here. We'll give the best two lists two spots in the outing.

Deadline is tomorrow at 4:00 so get on it. One entry per poster. I don't want to read 35th St. Slick after Gridiron Assassin, Gridley. You know all your aliases and so do we.

Have fun with it. Winners announced on tomorrow's show around 5:30.

that's the MJH outing... I don't know 'F' is.

Minimum 1000 posts? Does that mean that you won't be attending?

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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Mac, 1000 posts is a bit steep, don't you think? Can you please swing 350 as the limit. I think you'll get more, better entries if you ease up a little.

Quit begging, start posting!

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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~ Benjamin Franklin

You have a LOT of work to do tonight J.

Mac, Jurko, & Fathah?

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580 more smilies and you're in.

NSJ, after going through all this, you better have one jim-dandy of an entry. Otherwise, you will find yourself in the douchebag section.

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We all have private ails. The troublemakers are they who need public cures for their private ails.- Eric Hoffer

Congrats Mac on hijacking this board! Your in charge now right? Only 1000+ posters can contribute? Lemmings run to Mac's defense on this ok. Lowest point...you were to drunk and wasted to 'work' a 4 hour shift the day after the sox won a world series...and that shift started at 3pm. You asked. I'd try to be funny and creative but I'm not a 1000 poster.

Well, I'm toast then. I do have my 1000+ posts but burnt out my short and long term memory a few years back so couldn't even think of a bottom 1 at this point. Maybe I'll get some inspiration after a few beers and Vicodin...

Mac, I can't speak for whoever that other cat your confusing me with - but don't worry about multiple posts to win... I'm either scrubbing my aquarium gravel or shampooing my pubes on that day. I apologi.

The top 5 lowest moments in MJH history..




1. I say the lowest point in the MJH history was when Mac featured Cheryl Crow as the Friday "Featured" ARTIST. It's one thing to play UFO, "Huey Lewis and the News" and even "Men at Work"...But when Sherry forces you to flip on some Cheryl Crow at the "LAST CORNER TAVERN" you have hit rock bottom my friend!!

2. The 16 weeks of vaction each year that you 3 boobs get are the lowest points for all the MJH FANS OUT THERE. You guys go to warm weather places, fishing , Vegas and leave us holding the bag with Silvvy and Carmen .

3. You could wrap up all of the 6 years of Almanac segments as the top 5 lowest moments in MJH history but I figure after I win the spot I'd have to spend the 8 hours with Harry bitching and moaning to me on how I can help him impove the segment and my only advise would be to get rid of it .

4. Mac not showing up to work after the Sox winning the World Series..He felt it to be more important to collect dirt from the Jucie Boxes warning track and take Mug Shots of he and MAN-SOO-lee than to show up at work the next day and drool all over himself and apply cold compresses to his forehead and suck it up as the like the other 3.5 million who made it to work that day!

5. Today's interview with Alzheimers stricken Cubs skipper Lou Pinnela. You would of thought Lou was being asked to give launch codes to Soviet nukes between his deep breaths and lack of insight to his answers.

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"NEED a friend...Buy a dog"..

Off the top of my skull, in no certain order:

> The ill-fated Boy's Toys segment

> The David Wells Segments in the Early Years - the guy had a case of audio gout too

> Harry and Mac's on-air quarrel last year, as heard by Jim Pastor and Spaceball en route to the Paul Revere and the Raiders concert. Kiss my sack! Kiss my ass! Kiss my ass??? That would take an eternity....

> The Ben Gordon interview - within the past several months

> The Julius Peppers interview from the early ages

of the 2 posts, beef is wayyyyyy out in front.

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I've wrapped up all five bad moments into one:

The humiliation known as your's truly getting his ass handed to him six ways from Sunday by some simpleton douchebag Saints fan at Bears Trivia has to rank up there (or is it down there) as one of my least favorite MJH moments of the past six seasons.

You could have listed each question as a seperate low point...

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Alright, probably not my best creative effort since I'm pressed for time today and tomorrow. Damnit McNeil, creativeness can't be rushed!!

Here goes -

1. TOO DAMN HAPPY - Post White Sox World Series celebration. It cut to the core as a Cubs fan compounded by the fact that Mac doesn't even show up which makes me wish my Sox-fan coworkers had been as considerate to me.

2. TOO DAMN ANGRY - The boys get themselves an unpaid vacation for the better part of a month in Summer 2006 and forced me to come to this board on a regular basis. I can't tell if that is more a lowlight for the board than the show.

3. TOO DAMN UGLY - The Miss Wisconsin contest. The only time I want to see Dan McNeil in a wig is if he is representing Harry's "fatha's" interests in the British Parliament.

4. TOO DAMN STUPID - The Strahan incident. Not for picking a fight with a 300 lb. defensive lineman - but for being seen keeping company in public with Fred Huebner and Mike North.

5. TOO DAMN RIGHT - Rex Grossman. At least Mac and Jurko. Bastards. I was counting on that Super Bowl win to justify the 20 year rebuilding plan.

Best I can do. Good luck all.

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You know me like that.

I'll try my hand at this. In reverse order, here are the lowest points of the Mac, Jurko, and Harry show:

5) Mac states on-air that he is looking for a supplemental car, something that is "cool" and "fun," but won't eat the gas his big Yukon does. What car does he say he'd enjoy? A freaking VW Beetle!!! Apparently our favorite afternoon host is a 17 year old Mt. Assisi student, and we didn't know it. For shame.

4) Anytime Harry was the driver on a show. I can tolerate the homerism, but god help me if he answered another phone call with, "What's growing on?" or interrupted his own question to tell us "You're listening to Mac, Jurko, and Harry, Mac's out today, on ESPN1000", because I may have applied to the Postal Service just for the subsequent rampage. Mac, if you thought the move to bring Silvy and Carmen or whoever in when you are out was unnoticed, believe me I appreciate it!

3) Janet Jackson's damn nipple shield. I saw that boob, and it was NOT good enough to put to rest one of the best sound bites in sports radio history. GODDAMN YOU JANET JACKSON!!! I never thought I'd miss Bonnie Bernstein as much as I do now. I need my "Two dicks - wow!"; I'm starting to get the shakes!

2) The death of "Who Do You Love" needs to be mentioned. God help me, I owe so much to the Fat Man from last college football season - without Bama Brian's picks each week, I really am nothing. Who does he think will win when Bama's giving 40 points to Georgia? NOOOOOOOO!!!!

And, the lowest point in MJH history....

1) That fateful day in 2003 when Mac read an email from some jackass in the south suburbs, leading to the invention of the Jurktionary! Now, we can't go a WEEK on this board without hearing from Dave in Elmwood Park or whatever his name is telling us he invented it!

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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Can't wait to see your offerings Socrates... I put a little thought and some comedy into mine . Add any of the Sunday Night John offerings and the Jurko vs. Harry segments.

I will go on record and say if I win I'm taking Dougie from EGP with me !! bRING YOUR PHONE WITH YA dOUG.

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"NEED a friend...Buy a dog"..

A separate low point too.... touch 'em all Killer V - love the avatar too btw.

ah, Socrates...i see you've discovered wikipedia.

as ive mentioned multiple times (but i guess 7 or 8 isnt enough for you to actually grasp and process), i wont be in chicago on the 2nd, so ill abstain from the contest.

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I've got a relatively short history with the show, but here we go anyway:

5. Whenever one or two are on vacation.
-Moe and Curly aren't nearly as interesting without Larry (you decide who is who there). It should be all or nothing boys.

4. The Tank Johnson Diary
-Quite possibly the worst radio bit ever (but only in terms of concept and execution).

3. The Enthusiasm for Salisbury
-You were this man's biggest cheerleaders before and at the start of his show "here." Seeing as how I do whatever you guys tell me to, I got excited about the show. Well, I think we all know how that worked out (I want my money back).

2. Kiss my sac, indeed!

1. Not only allowing this picture to be taken, but enabling its worlwide distribution. (Oh the humanity!)

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Bottom Five Moments in MJH History

5. The Ben Gordon Interview. An Emergency Broadcast System test would have been more compelling radio.

4. Spaceball Resigns as Program Director. The show just hasn't been the same without the weekly insight from the boss.

3. The Death of Who Do You Love. Harry's bets on Michigan State marked the official beginning of football weekends.

2. Jim Pastor suspends Mac and Harry indefinitely for their on-air spat. The parties use Teddy Greenstein's column to negotiate their return.

1. Sean Salisbury formally introduced as a WMVP teammate. The boys were at Shoeless Joe's that day, but they were not drinking. If they had any idea how the Salisbury gig would turn out, they would have been firing shots all day.

Inspired by a like from Jaws - "We need to get stronger rebar in the concrete deck".

Here is what they're dreaming about... the three of them swimming in the ocean together from earlier that day:

Since we're posting its going to look like we're stealing here and there, but here goes.

#5.) Two days ago. Harry just looking like a complete ass monkey through out a segment telling us how A.) Mark Grace was better than Ryne Sandberg, B.) That Mark Grace deserves to have his number retired more than Sammy Sosa basically because he was nicer and went drinking with Harry, and C.) Grace has a legitimate shot to be in baseball's Hall of Fame.

#4) Harry checks in again this time with a moment he can't help but repeat. You guys looking for the ultimate station clicking subject. When Harry bitches and whines about what Mark Prior did to him and all the children of the world at Just Ducky. My God Harry, drop it. This always bring MJH to a low point.

#3.) That fateful day, Friday September 8th. No, I'm not talking about about "the incident." I'm talking about the day Dan McNeil suggested and defended the idea of having Sheryl Crow be the Friday featured artist. Mac kept digging himself a hole. In a related story, it was a CSFMB high when upon hearing this good dolphin dropped this line,
"Has anyone seen Mac in cutoff jeanshorts rollerblading along Lakeshore?"

#2.) Friday, June 9th. 2006 - The on-air incident about cell phones, interns, and parked cars. No, Sean Salisbury was not on air with these guys that day. Still it was awkward and gave us 8 minutes of commercials afterwards. I'm talking about Harry and Mac's fight on air which led to "Kiss my Sack, Mac..Haaaaaaa!!!"

#1.) And checking in at #1...drum roll please.....The lowest point at anytime is when we all have to listen to a child struggling with his pronunciation and a man sounding like he's ready to off himself at any given moment. That's right, at #1 I'm talking about 1-877-KARS4KIDS, K-A-R-S, KARS4KIDS.

Out of all the dumb things the good kid says, he surprisingly is nowhere to be found in the top 5. Kudos!

1. Mac the other day talking about being sent to the slow english class so he could continue his fine Highland Trojan football career, throwing all this high school buddies under the bus along the way (He can't put a sentence together but he's really good with his hands)

2. Any time Harry gushes about any below average player. (e.g. Wuench, Trachsel)

3. The agony of determining the Sox Cub bets. It's like the Bataan death march.

4. Any NBA talk.

5. The "pick the underdog" betting strategy for the NCAA tournament.

I think a low point for the show was getting cut short for white sox spring training baseball.

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May 1, 2007 - CSFMB Civil War
“Those who don’t remember history are doomed to repeat it.”

Clubhouse leader for me, yet again, is the good Doctor....only one that is made me laugh out loud.

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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~ Benjamin Franklin