Idea stolen shamelessly from Grantland.com, share stories of your most embarrassing moment playing a sport.

Ex:

The year was 1994 and I was a seventh-grade nerd who wanted nothing more than to gain the attention and affection of a female classmate whom I had had a crush on throughout most of grammar school. During lunch recess one Spring afternoon in our school's parking lot, the seventh- and eighth-grade boys were playing two-hand-touch football, as was the ongoing tradition at the school. I was having the game of my life; catching pass after pass, touchdown after touchdown, and impressing the hell out of my school crush in the process. My team eventually won, and I was walking on air.

Immediately following the game, I started strutting back to where the rest of my classmates were lining up to walk back to class. Along the way there was a small three-foot wall that doubled as a parking gate for the lot, so I had the great idea of trying to impress this girl even further. I called out to one of my friends who was holding the football, raised my hand in a typical "I'm open!" manner, and attempted to run a streak route directly towards the wall. My plan was to not only catch the pass, but to do so while jumping over this small wall.

Needless to say, my friend threw a perfect spiral, I jumped in an attempt to catch the pass, tripped over the wall and landed on my right arm, shattering both bones in the process directly in front of the girl I was trying to impress. She was so disgusted that she ran away crying while I was left to lay in my own misery on the sidewalk.

At least she didn't shower you with stripper sweat water afterwards.

_________________
You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

If it's embarrassing then why the hell would I tell you, Scrappy?

_________________
This is my signature...

Small victories in life, sir. Small victories.

I tried to impress this girl by telling her I have over 19,000 posts on a sports message board.


She hasn't talked to me ever since.

_________________

I'm not what you would call the most athelitic of people but I played basketball until about 7th grade. In 7th grade we were playing in a game and up big so I was getting a lot of minutes at the end of the game. There was a kid on the other team that was fast as hell but couldnt finish at the rim. He starts coming in full speed for a layup and instead of manning up and taking the charge, I moved to the side and hacked the shit out of him. He hit both free throws and my coach was screaming at me on the sidelines about standing in and taking the charge. Next possession I decide to redeem myself and I attempt to hit a, what I thought, was a wide open jumper. The same kid who I just fouled flies in and rejects the ball Dwight Howard style and it goes flying into the stands. As I watched the ball go into the crowd, I caught my dad's eye and the look of embarassment on his face was so obvious that I quit playing right after the season.

_________________

We won a 12-inch softball league my last year in college, and I was the pitcher. I was pretty damn good, including a shutout. The following summer, my friend invited me to join his established team back home. He built me up for weeks, telling them I was going to be a ringer to help win a championship that year.

Cut to my first game. I tossed a couple throws for the first time in over a year. Muscle memory felt good. Good to go. I show up to the game, and there are roughly thirty mile per hour wind gusts blowing out. I proceed to walk the first three batters on twelve pitches. The first pitch I got over the plate was the first pitch to the cleanup hitter, who was late for the next WWE show performing as The Big Show. He expedited his arrival at that event by hitting a softball about 929 feet. I get out of the first inning only giving up nine runs. I get pulled in the second, and they put me in right field.

What's the number one rule of the outfield? Play deep, and you can come in on the ball. Especially with that wind. The center fielder keeps having me come in. Not in a position to set my own rules, I comply.

Pat Hughes on the call:

Well hit ball to right, that one's sailing in the wind a bit, it's getting some legs.......oh, and the right fielder falls down backwards.........and takes out the covering center fielder. What a blow for the already struggling team.

I wanted to die.

_________________

That's how Spaulding picked up her husband.

_________________
Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

I was so hungover for one of my college football games that I, a defensive back, went with the receivers for pre-game drills. I was wondering why we were catching passes from qb's instead of doing our normal drills.

_________________
That's my purse! I don't know you!

First JV football game of my sophomore year, I'm playing LB on D, QB drops back to pass, I cover the flat(kind of), and he throws it right to me- I make the catch and look around to see nobody! I take off up the right sideline, booking it. Out in the clear and headed for a TD, I dropped the ball out the back of my arm. Barely had time to stop and cover it up before the other team got to me. No TD for You!

One time in either 7th or 8th grade we were playing St. Paul of the Cross. We won 72-8. A shot I took with some arc hit the ceiling. Later in the game I tripped at the top of the key but still took the shot, and it went in. Made me feel better about getting stuffed by the ceiling. The parents for St. Paul's were pretty pissed at our team.

One of our inbounds plays was to drop on all fours and make howling/barking noises. Called Bark at the Moon. It was pretty embarrassing, but our coach and the assistant coach were laughed like hyenas every time they called the play.
Another one was called Moss. It was pretty much lobbing the ball the length of the court to our best scorer (he would represent Moss) for an easy layup.

Lastly, one time we were getting shelled and our coach basically told us to foul every chance we had because he was pissed at the refs for some reason. One of our guys pretty forcefully shoved a kid from the other team going for a fast break layup. Kid never saw it coming and it was a pretty spectacular scene with a rough landing. Ref started yelling at us and made us forfeit the game.

In high school I was playing LF. A ball was hit out to me but was sinking pretty fast. I made it to the ball while it was still in the air, but it missed my glove and hit me squarely in the knee cap. Looking back, there's no doubt in my mind that there are shooting victims who react more gracefully than I did.

_________________
fock this club. I should manayer.

Bloom High School 1986. We score 4 runs in the top of the 7th to take a 1 run lead. I stride to the hill to finish the game. 14 pitches later, i had walked the bases loaded. Coach and infield come in to remind me of the big comeback they just had. I say OK. Next offering, wild pitch, game tied.
Next offering, wild pitch we lose.

_________________
Nothing to fear but fear itself, and me.

I air balled a free throw at an all school assembly last week. When I turned back to look at my class they were all laughing and making the choke sign.

_________________

Hoops 1.

_________________

So that's why you were mad at the jr high parents.

_________________
"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

In 6th grade, I re-created the Leon Lett play. It was a would-be dead ball after a punt, and for some odd reason I tried to fall on it... missed, and the other team recovered. Ridiculed the entire season by my buddies.

I have at least 3 good ones but I am going to have to figure out how to put them down in text. Good subject.
A thread like this is why I don't see a shrink. I pour it out to you losers and let you judge me.

_________________
Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

I'm guessing that #1 on the list is when you had a foot race with your date, didn't let her win, and she fell on the ice and shattered her collarbone or whatever that was.

_________________

Teeing off on a par 3. I hit a shank dead right. Ball was headed towards another tee box. I yelled "FORE" just in time for a guy in his 70's to look up as the ball one hopped right to his forehead. The guy folded like a card table. Thank God he was OK. I thought I killed him.

After a few minutes, he said "Next time, wait till we're off the tee box".

Yeah shattered elbow. Surprisingly enough she still uses that arm amazingly well.

_________________
Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

_________________

I have shared this before and only one of my many embarassing sports moments. In 1996 I got drunk and stoned
and decided I would shimmy up onto the roof of my 3 story high school and hit a golf ball off of the roof. I barely
remember how I did it and it was not easy to climb up with a driver in my pants. Long story short.... I was about 300
yards from the police station and I thought for sure I could at least hit a squad car in the lot. I cranked back and
let her rip but unfortunately the brick wall was slightly higher than my trajectory. My swing speed back then was
over 110 mph so the ball in all likelyhood came back at well over 150 mph. Hit me on my inner thigh about 1 inch from
my gonads. I went down immediately and popped up and had to walk it up because I had to scale down 3 stories.
Needless to say I had a huge bruise there and just felt really lucky it wasn't worse. Unfortunately I have many of
these and feel the need to share them....

_________________
Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami