Thank you to the Wiffle Ball Hall of Fame !!!1
My Team, the "Egocentric Horsefuckers", has been selected to the Hall of Fame and I have been chosen to speak on behalf of the team, partly because of my extreme awesomeness, but also because I'm one of the few on the team who is able to speak in somewhat coherent sentences. THAT BEING SAID:

We're only the the 24th team of over 15,000 Wiffle Ball teams to make the hall. Somehow this hall is inducting 6 teams and only 24 are in there in total, so I guess this "Hall of Fame" is pretty new. But we're going to be ENSHRINED. I use that word with gravitas. Say it with me now... enshrined. I don't even mind the assrape of paying $100 of my own money to see myself get into this three year old Hall. When the store is no longer under construction I'm getting me a fucking T-Shirt with the goddamn LOGO on it.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO HIT A WIFFLE BALL IN 15 MPH WINDS? HELL, I EVEN PLAYED THIS GAME WITH A BLACK GUY, HOW ABOUT THAT!

Look up my stats! I am awesome at Wiffle Ball and my enshrinment in the Hall of FAME is proof of what a swell fella I am so FUCK ALL OF YOU AHOLES.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Awesome. I was at the first one of these back in 1978. Hard to believe time has went so fast.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

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I would totally pay $100 to watch their Hall of Fame ceremonies.


Wiffle ball rules.

Im pretty sure wiffle ball is huge in Indiana. I think Irv Cross might be in the HOF.

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Ecclesiastes 5:8

What about Irv Kupcinet?

I dont mind him busting my balls especially since he voted for me in every round. Go RFDC!

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Ecclesiastes 5:8

Ah JORR how far we have come, remember when I used to tell you everyday to STFU!

Good times!

WAR JORR

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

About 30 years ago my buddies and I used to play a game called Whiffle Ball, which is pretty similar to today's Wiffle Ball, but with the added "H". To pronounce it correctly you basically said "Who-iffle Ball", which was also the a good way to spot out players who took the game seriously. Anyone who was around during that time knows what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I used to play for the Kristich Sports Fighting Logos when the league was held at old Garnsey Park on the west side. My buddy Paulie used to play for our rival's team, Crest Hill Marchelloni Pizza. Guy had a nasty curveball most of the time, but was always really excitable and fidgety. Nickname was "Twitchy", but it turns out he actually had ADHD something fierce, but nobody back then knew what that even was. We just thought he was talkative. Good guy.

Anyway, Paulie was this huge Cub fan - like, to an unhealthy degree. Used to bust his ball about the Cubs all the time, which would get him upset and totally off his game. One day he was pitching against us, throwing a real gem. You know, because of that curveball. Anyway, at my next at-bat I step up to the plate and yell out to Paulie, "Hey, how do you get a Cub player to stop beating his wife?" Paul shrugs all twitchy-like, so I says, "Just put a Cardinal jersey on her!". This pisses him off real good and his game goes to shit on the spot. We ended up winning by like 17 runs.

I think Paulie made it to the Hall as a left fielder.