INTERWEBS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
RFDC vs. JimmyPasta

CSFMBWA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Hank Scorpio and Phil McCracken vs. Five Grand and Keeping Score

Douchebag and bigfan vs. Drinky Alliance (Drop In and Speeps)

Krazy Ivan vs. Jackref

Boyd vs. Baby McNown

The Original Kid Cairo vs. SomeGuy

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Can I be a jobber?

If you want in, no problem.

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In a radio interview with Brian Fritz of Between The Ropes, current CSFMBWA Heavyweight Champion Kid Cairo briefly discusses his upcoming title defense against SomeGuy...

Fritz: Thanks for taking the time to join us on Between The Ropes. It's been awhile since we've seen you on TV as the CSFMBWA went dark for a few months. How are you feeling physically and mentally heading into the huge return of Friday Morning Rumbel?

Cairo: Well Brian, I can tell you from a physical standpoint I feel good. These last few months off have given me time to heal and just enjoy being champion. I mean, last year I went through hell. I had to deal with Boyd and the Drinky Alliance. I dealt with Spmack and that tramp Cookie. I had the championship literally stolen from me. I've been beaten, battered, and left for dead - and through it all I'm still sitting here as the reigning two-time Heavyweight Champion. I'm in a good place.

Fritz: In terms of ring-rust, do you have concerns about possibly going out there and laying an egg in your first match back?

Cairo: Man, I have no worries about any of that. I like to think that I'm one of the most well-conditioned, disciplined athletes in this business. Trust me, I haven't just been sitting on the couch these last three months. I've been in the gym every day training and getting myself ready for a big 2012. I'm the guy packing the gold. I know everybody's gonna be gunning for me. Trust me Brian, I'm not the least bit concerned about my ability to perform at the highest level on Friday.

Fritz: Let's shift gears and focus on your opponent this week. SomeGuy is a man who snuck onto the scene late last year and we really haven't seen much of him in the ring. Have you scouted him and what are your thoughts?

Cairo: Well Brian, I definitely subscribe to the "any given match" theory. I know that if I go out there and I'm not prepared and I half-ass it, there's a chance I could walk out without my belt. But I have no plans of doing that. SomeGuy is a capable opponent, but he's stepping in the ring with the best in the business. So as much as I need to prepare for him, he damn sure better be preparing for me!

Fritz: Any thoughts on his recent Twitter comments?

Cairo: No idea. What did he say?

Fritz: Well, I'm paraphrasing but he mentioned how he doesn't need a "Crew" to back him up and hide behind. Also, a follower suggested that beating you for the title would be an upset. He took offense to that, and stated that you are one-dimensional and that if you had faced him last year, you wouldn't even be the champion now.

Cairo: [pauses and lets out a slight chuckle] Interesting. Well, I'd say it would be a major upset if he were to beat me, considering that no one knows who he is. But it's cool Brian. Like I said, I'm the champ and I know everybody's gunning for me. He's clearly trying to build a reputation by attacking the biggest dog in the yard. I ain't mad at him for that. But one thing that SomeGuy needs to understand is that "one-dimensional" is NOT a term that describes the O-K-C. You dig? And SomeGuy, if you were looking to wake a sleeping giant well guess what? I just heard the alarm, bitch. Friday I'm starting this year off right. I walk into the match with the belt right here on my shoulder. I walk out exactly the same way...championship intact...still the best in the world. Just like I've been saying for the longest time: I am the future of wrestling, and the future is right now.

Fritz: Thanks for joining us on Between The Ropes Cairo. I'm sure everyone will be watching on Friday for the huge re-launching of the CSFMBWA. Good luck Cairo.

Cairo: Thanks for having me Brian, but I'm not gonna need the luck, my friend.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

good stuff

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I demand a stipulation that to win, I have to light that namby pamby, Bon Jovi lovin, tree huggin hippy liberal punk on fire.

Or a Jack Daniels on a pole match.

What?

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This has screw job finish written all over it.

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No way you make out of this match in one piece.

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I don't know what is required of me to get in, but yes. This has been entertaining. I can suck. I can job to everyone. I can be ridiculed. I can be someone's Ralphus. I don't care.

Ok. You're in.

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It's a new year in the CSFMBWA, but the more things change the more they stay the same.

This Friday the Drinky Alliance has a match with Douchebag, the newly minted face of the CSFMBWA, and his benefactor.

You see, I saw this coming. From your very first match, you had someone looking out for you. You were being defiled with The Filled Crack and you were tapping out to end the violation. Lights go out and suddenly you're getting the win.

Well you and your bagman are no match for the Drinky Alliance. Drop In has gotten his head on straight and now we are an even more lubed up team than ever before.

The year may have changed. The pecking order of the CSFMBWA has not. The Drinky Alliance will continue to run this show.

Douchebag and bigfan, we comin for you ninja!

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

Thanks Bob!

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Amazing.

(Open to a bar with the Intercontinental Champion sitting at the bar with his belt laid across it and ordering a beer)
(Bartender serves beer and walks off screen)

Krazy Ivan.

(Takes drink)

Really? That's the best you got huh?

(Takes another drink)

Spelling crazy with a K doesn't make you scary or intimidating, it makes you ridiculous. Like a Klown.

This Friday the Drinky Alliance is going to show you what it means to be on top of CSFMBWA. To show you what it means to get in the ring with the best.

(Finishes beer)

Put it on Ivan's tab. He'll be spending a lot more time here once I get finished with him in the ring.

(Grabs belt and walks out)

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How exactly did I get entered into this?

And do I have to write anything or can I have creative do that for me....? I have some live promo's on my cellphone that I drunkenly(among other things) did in Vegas during my bachelor party...I think I can transcribe those.

You can cut promos.

And I put you in because you seem like you'd be good at it. If you don't want to be involved, Creative can give you the Swagger push.

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Hopefully I don't end up like Psycho Sid or Lex Luger....I will give it my best shot.

I was really hoping you would end up like Sid.

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Listen, pal, you see the that big red button that says "DANGER:DON'T PUSH"?

Yeah, you're pushing it.

Looks like Ivan is too busy watching playoff hockey to take our match seriously. Probably rooting for the VanKouver Kanucks.

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(Drop In is sitting in a ring constructed in the backyard of his Illinois estate. Three Floyd's is the new sponsor.)

Time. They say time heals all wounds. Those people live boring lives, because some of that shit itches for years. But THAT, is not the reason you called. Apparently I needed to get my head on straight. Apparently, I needed to get my head on straight.........

The Drinky Alliance is a brotherhood that was developed out of having your laptop open when you're at home, and solidified by kicking the crap out of other Internet cretins. And having a damn good time doing it. Lately, delusions of grandeur could be causing a divide. I haven't spoken to the number one contender to the CSFMB Title since we walked out of the arena last year. Apparently, we are still a tag team, as we've been booked in a tag match this week.

Speeps and I have been booked in a tag match, and our opponents need to book a room. I hope we don't beat them so bad they can't go to the Creed concert that night. At least they'll have a suite. I'll be in the ring, and I'll be the same ass kicking, beer drinking, smarmy mother f'er I am every damn day. We'll see what happens. #DrinkyAli

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