Kourtney, Kim and Khloe Kardashian will be at the Sears store at Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg from 5 to 6 p.m. Friday, April 20, for a signing event and meet-and-greet with fans. To meet the Kardashians, attendees must have purchased something from the Kardashian Kollection clothing line between April 15 and 20 and bring the purchase and original receipt. The first 200 people who enter the line outside the northwest entrance of the store and have a valid proof of purchase will receive a wristband numbered 1 to 200 and have the opportunity to meet the Kardashians and receive a signed photo. If time permits, this will be extended to the next customers waiting in line.

I'm now exploring alternate housing options.

I wanna fuck Kim and Kourtney

Get in line at Sears.

I wanna fuck Kim and Kourtney

Get in line at Sears.

Schaumburg is turning into a real cesspool.

I resemble that remark. At least I can see downtown from my office. Lil cloudy today though....

I'd fuck Kim, but I'd be very reluctant to kiss her.

If you hate Laurence, then don't listen - don't comment. When he co-hosts the B&B show, take that day off ... listen to an old podcast of a Bernstein solo show and jerk off all day.

Definitely Kourtney too. And I agree, she looks way better. Close to a 10, in fact.

You know what Spark?

Me, you, and Kamps should each marry a Kardashian. Kamps is tall and dark, so he can have Khloe.

I rarely troll.

If I can't have Kim or Kourtney, I'm good.

That Khloe might be more masculine than Bruce Jenner at this point.

I think a goatee might "man" him up a little. His face looks like it can't grow whiskers.

I have better things to do on 4/20.

Seriously, is there like a library or something in Schaumburg?

Our hotel smelled like dead hooker vagina (before you ask I had gotten a detailed description from beardown)