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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:53 am 
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Or just do something you NEVER do that she does around the house.


or pocket dial her "accidentally" and be talking her up


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:53 am 
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Limit the beatings to only on the weekends. Also, you have to mix it up. A backhand is just as good as a fist some times.

:shock: :lol:

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:55 am 
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The laugh smiley to your own post is the equivalent of liking your own status, Jack Bauer...

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:56 am 
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Keeping Score wrote:
Figured everybody has seen a big black dildo at one time or another. My bad.

I thought me and Peeps had the market cornered on message board homoerotica. You're the master though. I have a lot to learn, KS. Teach me.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:58 am 
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The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
Keeping Score wrote:
Figured everybody has seen a big black dildo at one time or another. My bad.

I thought me and Peeps had the market cornered on message board homoerotica. You're the master though. I have a lot to learn, KS. Teach me.


Yes. Turn on your flashing jacket and regale us.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:58 am 
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rogers park bryan wrote:
Or just do something you NEVER do that she does around the house.



That would immediately backfire. She would know I was angling for sexual favors and get mad.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:59 am 
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Keeping Score wrote:
I'm not hard to top.

I've topped you many times actually.


^^^^^^^^^

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:01 pm 
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The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
Keeping Score wrote:
I'm not hard to top.

I've topped you many times actually.


^^^^^^^^^


Me and Mr. Reason ran the same bit this weekend.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:01 pm 
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Terry's Peeps wrote:
Me and Mr. Reason ran the same bit this weekend.

I'm tired of having my comedy bits stepped on.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:02 pm 
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Keeping Score wrote:
The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
Keeping Score wrote:
I'm not hard to top.

I've topped you many times actually.


^^^^^^^^^



I'm not afraid to go back and start at the bottom.


In that casez how'd you like to go black and have a difficult decision on whether or not to go back?

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:02 pm 
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The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
Terry's Peeps wrote:
Me and Mr. Reason ran the same bit this weekend.

I'm tired of having my comedy bits stepped on.


But you like it when I step on your man bits.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:07 pm 
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Seriously, Big Fan needs to institute a sidebar section.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:08 pm 
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Krazy Ivan wrote:
The laugh smiley to your own post is the equivalent of liking your own status, Jack Bauer...


Image

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:12 pm 
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Keeping Score wrote:
Ok, in all seriousness, and being the lover that I am, how 'bout:

1. Second Honeymoon
2. Reaffirming your vows
3. Buy her a rose every day. Buy a rose bush - cheaper in the long run.
4. Watch Lifetime more often
5. The ecstasy pills will in fact work wonders. However, be careful to read the instructions first.
6. Read and re-read articles about the G spot.



Let me know if you're into voyeurism. I have a seperate list for that kind of thing.



What you know about relationships, kiddo?

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:17 pm 
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Remember the color of her eye. If she has two, that means both of them. Also, try to surprise once or twice a week by coming home sober.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:18 pm 
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Wow Bauer and Krazy Ivana in one thread. Good job Hatchet.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:20 pm 
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Start calling her schmoopy.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:29 pm 
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4 words: donkey punch.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:33 pm 
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Keeping Score wrote:
Ok, in all seriousness, and being the lover that I am, how 'bout:

1. Second Honeymoon
2. Reaffirming your vows
3. Buy her a rose every day. Buy a rose bush - cheaper in the long run.
4. Watch Lifetime more often
5. The ecstasy pills will in fact work wonders. However, be careful to read the instructions first.
6. Read and re-read articles about the G spot.

Dude, I wish you were in my family.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:39 pm 
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No. My sister's married. My brother's been with the same woman for about 6 years.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:40 pm 
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Telegram Sam wrote:
Remember the color of her eye. If she has two, that means both of them. Also, try to surprise once or twice a week by coming home sober.


Every woman has at least one brown eye.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:41 pm 
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Image

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:44 pm 
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Dude. You been married 18 years already. I'm pretty sure you're the old dude on the block that's supposed to drop knowledge on us on how it's done.

That being said, get her a 50 Shades book. She should theoretically want to fuck more often.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:44 pm 
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Keeping Score wrote:
The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
No. My sister's married. My brother's been with the same woman for about 6 years.



You could adopt me. I would be Keeping Cairo.

I'll bring you into the fold. My lady and my son will wonder who this 40 year-old white guy is, but hey fuck that shit. I'm the king of my motherfucking castle.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:45 pm 
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FavreFan wrote:
That being said, get her a 50 Shades book. She should theoretically want to fuck more often.

What is that book about? I heard about it and it was a big deal, but I (obviously) haven't read it.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:45 pm 
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Keeping Score wrote:
Hatchet, a 6 foot burrito will not win your wife's heart.


Hank, where do you get one of those?


There are several 6 foot burritos on this board.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:47 pm 
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The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
FavreFan wrote:
That being said, get her a 50 Shades book. She should theoretically want to fuck more often.

What is that book about? I heard about it and it was a big deal, but I (obviously) haven't read it.


Hottest Oakleys and Ray-Bans over the last 20 years.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:47 pm 
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The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
FavreFan wrote:
That being said, get her a 50 Shades book. She should theoretically want to fuck more often.

What is that book about? I heard about it and it was a big deal, but I (obviously) haven't read it.

:lol:

I don't think any guy has read it. Maybe J&M. I guess it's just a book graphically describing a chick getting fucked seven ways from Sunday throughout like the whole book. It seems to make chicks hornier.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:51 pm 
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KS, pun-war challenge accepted.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:52 pm 
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There is no one way fits all for women. They are a crazy bunch.

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