Where he makes fun of the "CBS minute" people with his own CBS minute.

Wow. A horrible sports broadcaster mocking other horrible sports broadcasters. This is the equivalent to handicap person mocking other handicap people.

Listened to the Peyton Manning one with an open mind but Im sorry, its not funny. Dont know if the other ones were better but based on the one I heard I dont see what the fuss is about.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

That they're courageous enough to go after CBS for dictating horrible, useless programming is just the kind of battle-choosing we've said they don't do enough of.

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Yeah. It was bad. It was worse when Bernstein, Larry and Terry told everybdoy in transition that it was the greatest thing in the history of things. They all decided to lick drinky. It was disgusting. It went something like this.

Terry: Eeeeeeeeee Eeeeeeeeeeeeee. Me likey. Me lovey. That was greaty

Dan: That was truely inspired.

Larry: That was sooooooooooooooooo great. I really, really, really, really liked it. Hey Dan and Uncle Teary, if you don't mind, I'd like to replay that on my show.

Score listeners:

The best part was that the jingle played at the :60 mark but Matt had to keep going because his bad sports thoughts didn't fit. He should've pulled a Gottlieb and sped through the last third of it after stumbling through the beginning.

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I don't know why drinky has to write out his mocking of the CBS minute. He should just play his random sports thoughts when he talks on the B&B show. That's just as bad as his script.

Something is going on here. Kind of like I thought. Drinky realized that Goff got a full time talk show mainly because he used his producer role to basically become a host on the B&B show. Drinky is trying to get his now. B&B fans, get ready, drinky's cracker ass is gonna force himself on you. He's gonna say stuff, he's gonna piss on you, he's gonna try comedy bits. It's his last ditch effort to become a media star. He's desperate. Chicago is gonna get a lot more of drinky. Oy.

Agreed.

And great avatar!! Why is Boushh hanging out by route 83?

Don't give them too much credit for biting the corporate niple. It might be an agenda. Maybe it's actually about protecting their best interests.

Maybe they fear a corporate take over in local markets. I know those national shows are starting in January. It's been rumored that Jim Rome is gonna be a part of those national shows. Maybe CBS is gonna force a national show on the Score. B&B pissing on the CBS minute might be a fear protest to CBS taking over the local shows at the Score.

Something to watch.

Does anyone else do their own Borat "WHAT??" after CBS Sports Minutes? I think I average about eight a week.

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I liked it. It made me giggle.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Beardown, get fucked. You're wrong. So fuck your racist horseshit aaaassssssss.

The first one was fkn hilarious...they rest were good, but not nearly as funny.

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@audioidkid

Maybe you were listening to different station Beardown. Those were great.

I only heard the one he did towords the end of the show. That was bad.

I like the premise of this bit but I don't think Matt is lampooning the CBS minutes in the correct fashion. He's got the Hansborough voice mixing with Dan "The Manimal" Hampton's cadence. And he is also halfway mocking the Aikman ad reads. It needs more of Gottlieb's condescending smarm and Feinstein's vapid gravitas.

Drinky really wanted Dan's approval for this bit. He started blithering about how the Stein was doing this certain laugh which indicates genuine mirth. It was kind of pathetic to hear Drinky groveling to Dan. Bernsie should be the one doing these fake sports minutes. He's a good voice impersonator and has the wit to make these funny but he's too chickenshit to attack the CBS corporation. So, he gives his snickering approval to Matt and lets his dumbass producer be the one with his neck out under the guillotine.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

I agree. These CBS minute guys don't talk like retards. They just say some dumb stuff. Like you said, that's where drinky went wrong. You're also right about Drinky wanting approval from his radio dads on this thing.

You know what would be a good satire? The following:

Drinky: Hi everybody, I'm Matt Abbatacola. Child rape is bad. Penn state aided and abetted a child rapist for years. Therefore, I believe they need to tear down the football stadium and spend hundreds of millions to build a new one. I'm Matt Abbatacola for the Dumb Ass Sports Radio network.

(For those of you that don't know, Drinky acutually said this once. That's why he's the last person that should be mocking the CBS minute.)

Gottlieb's pacing is pretty terrible, actually. He takes weird pregnant pauses, stops in places he shouldn't, speeds up and slows down for no apparent reason, and can't modulate his voice properly. John Feinstein is just really dry and not worth parodying.

Credit to Dan and Terry for openly bashing these stupid things, but it is telling that the bit itself was outsourced.

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In other words, he's Chris Walken.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Yeah, well drinky's a stuttering, slurring speaking fool as well. So, once again, the pot shouldn't call the kettle black. (That's not racist by the way. I also don't think that milk should call snow white.)

More "B & B Sports Minutes" tomorrow while Terry & Dan B. are live in Orland Park for the "Bud Light 'Who Needs Two?' Tavern Tour" at Rokwell Meets Grill, 159th & Wolf Rd. A new Friday feature w/Drinky?

Honestly, this needs to be more than a weekly bit for it to really work. Part of the essence of the CBS Sports Minute is that you're asking these guys to write like 20 micro-essays a week such that they're forced to give Strongly Worded Opinions about shit that no one would ever care about or think.

"Look. I'm not necessarily saying Trent Dilfer is a lock for the Hall of Fame. But it's 4 o'clock on a Thursday and all I'm saying is just think about it, y'know?" I'mdouggottlieb."

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I still want to know why the bounty hunter is hanging out on IL 83...

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Because Clark the Gas Money contestant has the same voice as the bounty hunter when he says "83" for the year the Bears won the NFC North. I had to visually represent the whole tableau without having the footage. A little problem-solving experiment.

Look, it's not my best Score-related avatar, but I lost my folder full of them.

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Wow, that is some in-depth avatar building.

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These are the only avatars I can find. I can't find Big Boy Baseball, No Orange Shrubs, and a couple others I liked.

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Spiegs has gone after them weekly as well. Yesterday he said something like "Ahh.. those sports minutes aren't good for anybody.. uh.. yeah let's just move on."

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Matt needs an editor for these things. Trim some of the redundant bloat. I noticed he went after Paterno and Lance Armstrong today, both topics the Stein goes rabid over, providing further evidence he is seeking Dan's approval with this bit. Also, I can't tell if he is intentionally making them longer than a minute for comedic effect. It works, though, as I have laughed when hearing that Score values music while he is still talking.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

Mattys B&B Score minute was one of the funniest things I have ever heard on the Score. Nice work Matty.

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CSFMB 2014 Nascar Pick 'em Champion

We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much. — Ronald Reagan

at this point the b&b sports minutes are suffering from saturday night live sketch syndrome... it's the same joke over and over being hammered into our faces with increasing levels of absurdity.

going back to the very first sports minute, i noticed a key component of the bit is that he reads them really spacey and dyslexic-like.... and i mean, from what i've heard of the sports minutes they're crisp jobs by radio pros... at first they were a bit amateurish, but over the last few weeks the guys have grown to hit their marks. ergo, matt's "OMFG I'M GOING TO READ THIS BAD AND GO OVER THE ALLOTTED TIME" thing is losing steam rapidly.

also, he has to study the actual CBS sports minutes more and dig into a proper satire of the type of messages that the sports menudo crew is trying to get across. he's yet to do a puffpiece about a single player (the one i remember was ALL HAIL MARCO SCUTARO... HE'S BEEN ON SO MANY TEAMS THAT HE'S CLEARLY A PLAYER THAT MANY TEAMS WANT BUT NO TEAM NEEDED... UNTIL NOW) and typically, instead of trying to give us a concise little opinion to tell us how to think (as such is the point of the CBS sports minute or ESPNradio extra point) it's just matt doing his little schtick....

and as baredown has pointed out, everyone providing a typical morning zoo radio laughtrack is pretty annoying. dan's the #1 offender, as right when matt tosses out the busted cadence and pseudodyslexia dan's heeheeing up a storm, literally telling his radio disciples (dan doesn't have listeners; he has disciples, offspring, and devoted followers) that it's time to laugh. i reckon if i made fun of them to b&b's bobo and maryanne from brooklyn, schmutzie and maddux boy, i'd once again be reported to papa/dear-leader for trying to crack wise and therefore have to be shamed by letting my idiocy known to the leader of the tribe of dan.

all in all.... it's a concept that we all want to like way more than we actually do like it.... and being that the CBS sports mintue has done it's job and drill itself so deep into our sub/conscious that we know the format by heart, i mean, matt's always gonna get chuckles just for the concept of doing this... but i really wish he was clever and funny and edgy about it, as opposed to a hackish 2-bit "HURRR DURRRR LOOK AT ME I'M A CBS SPORTS MINUTE IDIOT" schtick that, lamentably, i bet isn't going to change. matt got so much positive feedback early on that he's just gonna keep doing the same bit over and over again, while making sure to cover all of dan's sacred cows/chao's (think ordo ab chao) and as it's been proven.... we're all out for validation from dear leader here in the tribe of dan (again, no, not THAT one =)

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poop IN THE WHITE HOUSE!

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