When he only watches Bears games and thus sees nothing but Julius Peppers and Gabe Carimi, I can see how he'd think that.

And no better way to end it than to talk about ratings!

The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.

This is it in a nutshell. Dan talks about baseball as if he just completed a stats postdoc at Stanford, but he won't take five minutes every Monday to glance at FO or PFF. He swoons over Bowen dropping mundane terms like "landmark," but he won't take the time to hit Smart Football so he can recognize all that stuff himself. He regularly says really dumb shit, like "what did Sid Gillman run?" and yells at meatballs that the 46 is defunct, even though the Jets and Ravens run it all the time. In a vacuum, none of that is a big deal; sports media (and sports radio in particular) are populated by all manner of simpletons. The difference is that despite all that ignorance, Dan still puts on his talking-to-a-five-year-old voice and explains terms like "stack-and-shed" and "flips [his] hips" like he's performing a public service to all us rubes. Until he evinces any awareness that there exist 31 teams that don't play at Soldier Field, most anything Dan says about the NFL can be safely ignored.

I actually thought those numbers were pretty interesting. I know this has probably been said elsewhere but Roger Goodell must cream his jeans just thinking about how popular fantasy football has become. Before I started playing fantasy in 2006 I might watch a couple of NFL games a month, now I don't think twice about spending close to 12 hours on a Sunday consuming all things NFL.

Dan Bernstein ‏@dan_bernstein
And with the return of the #NBA comes the return of Twitter usuals: passive racists, active racists, and those with hockey-related avatars.

He just can't stop.

The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.

He just can't stop.

He just can't stop.

If I were Roger Goodell, my main concerns would be 1.) NFL Network has been a financial mistake, though no one will acknowledge it as such

The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.

Sweet merciful crap.

The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.

Is he really so obtuse that he fails to recognize his own racism that is so readily apparent in the way he views the CBA player as some kind of noble savage?

There might have been some very interesting people in the CBA after all. I'm sure there was like a 7'2" guy from Mississippi who wanted to be a choreographer but was forced into a life of basketball despite not even liking it and hence sucking at it such that he was stuck playing for the Rockford Lightning; so much for winning the genetic lottery. I can see stories like that in basketball, maybe even on the peripheries of the NBA. The NHL is not a lush vineyard of human interest, though. Hockey players are pretty much just guys who grow up liking hockey, decide they want to play hockey, and then play a lot of hockey while attentively following hockey. Big fuckin' deal. It's much more interesting, when, as Dan gushed over various Bears players, guys who play football don't even follow football or respect the history of football. Worse, they're pretty much all from the myriad Naperville analogues of the Great Lakes/Northeast and just go on to drink too much and fuck underage girls, so it's not like they've earned this debauchery by overcoming any sort of societal adversity. It's their white privilege that allows them to engage in the silliness of strictly enforced rules about where you can walk on the carpet; when life used to be hard, that's when the locker room is the office, where these people go to work like men. I guess the same kinda goes for baseball players being comfortably obnoxious, except I'm pretty sure they're just grown on farms in central Florida or something.

I've sometimes wondered if the whole Kaner obsession is part of some full-scale effort to bust the widespread myth of hockey players being "the most down-to-earth athletes" as mere racial coding for "white guys" and fight back with real-life experience of how oh, no no, it is in fact the black people who are the most down-to-earth and the white guys are the belligerent douchebags, you bigoted cargo-shorted monsters, but it's probably just that Patrick Kane is kind of annoying. And dwelling on how interesting a fucking professional athlete is is okay when Dan says it is simply because this time Dan says it is.

The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.

It's not just the CBA. It's not much of an exaggeration to say it's any black person who's ever played pro basketball or football. When the Bears signed Roy Williams, they interviewed him in the Bob Rohrman Stinky & Overheated Van or whatever it's called, and afterwards Dan couldn't stop talking about how tall he was and how his shoulders were so broad and his hands were so big and he just filled the whole van. I mean, we're talking about a marginal NFL talent here. It's just kind of...weird.

The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.

I wonder how long it's going to be before Dan lets slip some kind of blatant, Jimmy the Greek style assessment of black athletes?

The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.

Oh, I don't know, how about -3 years?

The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.

The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.

I wonder how long it's going to be before Dan lets slip some kind of blatant, Jimmy the Greek style assessment of black athletes?

The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.

"He will do so in negative three years."

Saying stuff like "I don't want some white guy, I want a stud" is just as insidious (and ten times as gay) as "blacks were bred for physical labor" or whatever Jimmy the Greek said, it's just that Dan seems to think he's doing black people a favor by saying they're good at something.

There is the NFL, & then everyone else. The NFL is so far & away ahead of every other professional sports league, their position of dominance will never ever be challenged. Which professional sport will overtake the NFL? MLB? NBA? NHL? No...

NCAA Football is still better though...

Somebody make a thread already would ya? I'm ready for the goodness to begin.

Somebody make a thread already would ya? I'm ready for the goodness to begin.

There is MySpace, & then everyone else. MySpace is so far & away ahead of every other social media website, their position of dominance will never ever be challenged.

There is Kodak, & then everyone else. Kodak is so far & away ahead of every other photography company, their position of dominance will never ever be challenged.

There is IBM, & then everyone else. IBM is so far & away ahead of every other computer company, their position of dominance will never ever be challenged.

There is the Achaemenid Empire, & then everyone else. Persia is so far & away ahead of every other Mesopotamian power, their position of dominance will never ever be challenged.

On a completely unrelated note to anything, what is our stance on Maddux Boy? I'm contemplating having a Twitter war with him.

On a completely unrelated note to anything, what is our stance on Maddux Boy? I'm contemplating having a Twitter war with him.