Larry: Dan, I just want to say before we get started that I'm really, really, really excited to do a show with you. I also want to say that "I was gonna say that" to whatever you're gonna say today. You're soooooooooooooo funny, Dan. You're soooooooooooooo smart, Dan. I fear you. I love you. I want to be you.

Dan: Oy

Larry: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Listeners:

Larry: Come, Mitch told me, Pa rum pum pum pum pum. My Bernstein king to see, Pa rum pum pum pum pum. The finest gifts I bring, Pa rum pum pum pum. To lay before the King, Pa rum pum pum ...

Dan: Shut the fuck up!!!! Jesus Christ!!!! Oy Fucking Vey!!!! Enough!!!!

Larry:

"Larry Plays the Drum for his King?" How 'bout "Larry Pulls the Strings for Dan B." instead?

Look on the bright side, folks. It won't be that way tomorrow. The Doug Buffone-sounding Matt Bowen sits in with Bernstein tomorrow afternoon, while Holmes goes back to his regular time with the Bears' Tim Jennings for the "Miller Lite Top Draft Show" come 6P. Holmes & Jennings will be at Guide's Tap, 5534 S. Archer tomorrow night.

Larry will also...

-Read his resume to Bernstein

-Lie or embellish his achievements

-Seek Dan's approval

-Laugh at Dan's racist comments (Bernstein loves this the most.)