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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:14 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:15 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:17 pm 
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"Man of your word" also includes blaming your racist thoughts on a made up steak dinner bet...

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:17 pm 
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What ever Elmhurst Steve did on this board (I forgot),was it that bad you can't forgive?

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:18 pm 
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I was being serious. August isn't that much notice for an out of town wedding. We had a vacation planned since June this month.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:23 pm 
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Treat these people as you would hope to be treated.
I'm giving everybody a 12-14 month notice for ours, and the reception hall is going to be 5 minutes from where we live now, and about 20 from our new home. I think the Darksides and Boyds will have about the furthest to travel :lol: Maybe if I had to choose between getting a bowling trophy and having dinner with a couple of former Bears you might understand.

Yes, I'm being selfish. I admit that. I am going to have a mortgage payment due in 30 days, plus closing. I want to be able to live in MY house in January, not waste an entire weekend to move in. The RSVP deadline was 2 weeks ago. I RSVP'd the day before because our initial closing date of 12-18 had fallen thru. I said all along that if we closed on the house before the wedding, we would not be going.

And no, its not that simple, Scorekirk. If the wedding were in the Chicago area we would still go no questions asked. I am not closing on a house, then spending 7-8 hours in a car to go to a wedding where I will end up making myself a drink at 8pm. I don't even have car allowance.

I'm comfortable with my decision and am not apologizing to anybody except the groom, which I've already done. I don't feel I'm in the wrong and really don't care if anybody else does, and that includes my folks. I just wanted to get some thoughts from people here who have maybe gone thru something like this before.

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Last edited by Frank Coztansa on Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:24 pm 
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Boilermaker Rick wrote:
I was being serious. August isn't that much notice for an out of town wedding. We had a vacation planned since June this month.



The notice was obviously sufficient and Frank answered the invitation and RSVP'd in the affirmative. So now it's a matter of making a choice to either a) Be selfish and do that which is most personally convenient....or b) Attend as previously indicated in their RSVP and go through the 6 hours of driving that obviously was not too great an inconvenience when the RSVP was returned.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:25 pm 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
I'm comfortable with my decision and am not apologizing to anybody except the groom, which I've already done. I don't feel I'm in the wrong and really don't care if anybody else does, and that includes my folks. I just wanted to get some thoughts from people here who have maybe gone thru something like this before.
I skipped a wedding to go to a Purdue-Notre Dame football game because I already had a hotel booked that I couldn't get a refund on. I didn't regret it.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:26 pm 
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Just throwing it out there that Tuesday is a National Holiday, so there is an extra moving day available if you do desire. Though, I don't think you need to go to the wedding.


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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:33 pm 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
Quote:
Treat these people as you would hope to be treated.


Maybe if I had to choose between getting a bowling trophy and having dinner with a couple of former Bears you might understand.





That was pretty good. In reality, unless it was a close friend, I would have been likely to have declined the invitation if it involved 7-8 hours in a car in winter weather. Were it in June-August it would be different. Then, a round of golf or two could be incorporated and I would make a weekend of it. I'm sure you know that I was just giving you crap....it's what I do. Good luck with the move.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 5:38 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 5:49 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 5:55 pm 
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Elmhurst Steve wrote:
Drop In wrote:
Boilermaker Rick wrote:
I see nothing wrong with you not going, especially since you only knew about it since August.


:lol: :lol:

Vintage.



That was classic. Frank-you said you were going to go to the wedding in your RSVP, so now it's a matter of being a man of your word.....or not. If you choose not to go, you are probably doing the other guests a favor, but as someone mentioned, don't be surprised if others blow off your wedding when they need to scrub the gravel in the fish tank....re-arrange their sock drawer......etc. You can close on Friday and begin moving stuff, then finish on Sunday. I wouldn't be surprised if you are expecting people from out of town to attend your wedding and either drive a long distance or even fly in for the event.....Treat these people as you would hope to be treated.


I didn't say I would go. I simply found BR's subtle, unnoticed jab awesome.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 6:53 pm 
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Props to you for agreeing to go to a wedding that was 3 plus hours away for a family friend. I know I wouldn't do it, let alone moving in the middle of it.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 7:01 pm 
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Elmhurst Steve wrote:
Frank Coztansa wrote:
Quote:
Treat these people as you would hope to be treated.


Maybe if I had to choose between getting a bowling trophy and having dinner with a couple of former Bears you might understand.





That was pretty good. In reality, unless it was a close friend, I would have been likely to have declined the invitation if it involved 7-8 hours in a car in winter weather. Were it in June-August it would be different. Then, a round of golf or two could be incorporated and I would make a weekend of it. I'm sure you know that I was just giving you crap....it's what I do. Good luck with the move.


What the hell just happened here?

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:06 pm 
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You let them know what the situation is and are still sending them something, at least you didn't just not show up. Maybe offer to take them out to dinner when they come into Chicago in the future or send them a gift certificate to a restaurant near them.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:09 pm 
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Redneckmommy wrote:
You let them know what the situation is and are still sending them something, at least you didn't just not show up. Maybe offer to take them out to dinner when they come into Chicago in the future or send them a gift certificate to a restaurant near them.


That

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:50 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:56 pm 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
I'm giving everybody a 12-14 month notice for ours, and the reception hall is going to be 5 minutes from where we live now, and about 20 from our new home. I think the Darksides and Boyds will have about the furthest to travel :lol: Maybe if I had to choose between getting a bowling trophy and having dinner with a couple of former Bears you might understand.

Yes, I'm being selfish. I admit that. I am going to have a mortgage payment due in 30 days, plus closing. I want to be able to live in MY house in January, not waste an entire weekend to move in. The RSVP deadline was 2 weeks ago. I RSVP'd the day before because our initial closing date of 12-18 had fallen thru. I said all along that if we closed on the house before the wedding, we would not be going.

And no, its not that simple, Scorekirk. If the wedding were in the Chicago area we would still go no questions asked. I am not closing on a house, then spending 7-8 hours in a car to go to a wedding where I will end up making myself a drink at 8pm. I don't even have car allowance.

I'm comfortable with my decision and am not apologizing to anybody except the groom, which I've already done. I don't feel I'm in the wrong and really don't care if anybody else does, and that includes my folks. I just wanted to get some thoughts from people here who have maybe gone thru something like this before.

Image

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 2:29 am 
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You're new house will be there forever. You can move in & clean any day. Your friends wedding is a once in a lifetime occurrence. So its a bit of a car ride, its still only one day out of your life. Don't risk the friendship because you bought a house.

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Last edited by Scorehead on Fri Dec 28, 2012 2:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 2:37 am 
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hi


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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 6:54 am 
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I'd be more worried about closing on a Friday...

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 7:12 am 
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You are more likely to regret buying a house in partnership with a woman to whom you are not married than missing the Reinsdorf kid's wedding...


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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 11:26 am 
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The biggest issue is the time. Its 3-4 hours there, the wedding, spending the nite, then 3-4 hours back. Even if we were on the road at 8am we wouldn't be "home" until noon. My fiance and I feel that this weekend time wise would be better spent to clean our new house up and move in what we can so that we can move more during the week and next weekend, and be living there full time by the 6th or 7th.

As I said if it was in the Chicago area, we would be going to the reception.

I'm burnt out because I've been dealing with ticked off family members and a house closing, not so much the holidaze :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 11:29 am 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
The biggest issue is the time. Its 3-4 hours there, the wedding, spending the nite, then 3-4 hours back. Even if we were on the road at 8am we wouldn't be "home" until noon. My fiance and I feel that this weekend time wise would be better spent to clean our new house up and move in what we can so that we can move more during the week and next weekend, and be living there full time by the 6th or 7th.

As I said if it was in the Chicago area, we would be going to the reception.

I'm burnt out because I've been dealing with ticked off family members and a house closing, not so much the holidaze :lol:


Maybe somebody could SKYPE the wedding.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 5:41 pm 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
The biggest issue is the time. Its 3-4 hours there, the wedding, spending the nite, then 3-4 hours back. Even if we were on the road at 8am we wouldn't be "home" until noon. My fiance and I feel that this weekend time wise would be better spent to clean our new house up and move in what we can so that we can move more during the week and next weekend, and be living there full time by the 6th or 7th.

As I said if it was in the Chicago area, we would be going to the reception.

I'm burnt out because I've been dealing with ticked off family members and a house closing, not so much the holidaze :lol:

Tell your family to screw off. Literally. Get the couple a real nice gift & be done w/ it.


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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 6:27 pm 
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RFDC wrote:
Frank Coztansa wrote:
I'm giving everybody a 12-14 month notice for ours, and the reception hall is going to be 5 minutes from where we live now, and about 20 from our new home. I think the Darksides and Boyds will have about the furthest to travel :lol: Maybe if I had to choose between getting a bowling trophy and having dinner with a couple of former Bears you might understand.

Yes, I'm being selfish. I admit that. I am going to have a mortgage payment due in 30 days, plus closing. I want to be able to live in MY house in January, not waste an entire weekend to move in. The RSVP deadline was 2 weeks ago. I RSVP'd the day before because our initial closing date of 12-18 had fallen thru. I said all along that if we closed on the house before the wedding, we would not be going.

And no, its not that simple, Scorekirk. If the wedding were in the Chicago area we would still go no questions asked. I am not closing on a house, then spending 7-8 hours in a car to go to a wedding where I will end up making myself a drink at 8pm. I don't even have car allowance.

I'm comfortable with my decision and am not apologizing to anybody except the groom, which I've already done. I don't feel I'm in the wrong and really don't care if anybody else does, and that includes my folks. I just wanted to get some thoughts from people here who have maybe gone thru something like this before.

Image


"then spending 7-8 hours in a car to go to a wedding where I will end up making myself a drink at 8pm."




That's one of the greatest lines ever posted here.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 7:41 pm 
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Someone may have already said this but I think you should go. You'll have all the time to clean up your house. Sacrificing 1 day will not hurt. You're getting married soon and you wouldn't want people to bail on you at the last min. Suck it up and have some fun. Congrats on the new house. Don't do anything in all of the rooms that I wouldn't do.


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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 7:50 pm 
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Either I'm right and nearly everyone in this thread is selfish or I'm just too nice and everyone else is right. I'm just glad I'm not friends/close friends with any of you. Brutal!


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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 8:41 pm 
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Advice:

Don't put your fiance on the loan or on title.

If you close at a Fidelity National Title location PM me and I will save you a few bucks.


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