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Thank you. Thank you.
I told all my friends I was just gonna log in here and post 'thank you' and log off. I can't. There's no way. I got too many people I gotta thank. In all the board arguments, you never just read me; you read Boilermaker Rick. Every Internet argument I won.
I've had a lot of questions over the last two days, and everybody's saying well 'why'd you pick Darkside?' I know why, and Darkside knows why, and maybe you guys don't know why, but as I grew up on the CSFMB, I was a newbie poster in 2010 I think when you were the leader of the board elders. And uh, I was an anti-Crew guy - I hated the Crew, and here I ended up a member of the Crew. But I was in love with Darkside. Not just for his brilliant posts, but in terms of what he represented. You know, we all - as Terry’s Peeps said - we go through our trials and tribulations. And, he did. And I was inspired by him. And when I called him and asked him to uh, stand up for me, I know that I shocked the shit outta him. I know I did. But...he was very kind and said 'yea, I'll do it.' And that wasn't out of disrespect to any of my Crew guys - they all know I'm a true blue Crew guy to the heart. Rogers Park Bryan, The Original Kid Cairo, Krazy Ivan, Douchebag - you know, all of those guys.
Well it all starts with my parents - you guys see all the highlights; what is it about me that you guys don't know? Uh, as I sat up here and watch all the other recipients stand up here and they give the history; there's so many things I didn't know about Crystal Lake Hoffy. I know he created many mults, but I didn't know that he considered Juggs his masterpiece. Even Hank Scorpio - obviously I've known Hank for some time and you know, I've found some things out about him, and even with Badrougue17 I found some bad things - or good things out about him. And even Peeps - Peeps, I've known Peeps for years. He and I took out Shakes and IMU in the first Survivor game and I found out a lot of good things about him, but what about me that you guys don't know?
I got two CSFMB brothers – Boilermaker Rick and Free Ajent - they're both very articulate. They gave me all I could ever ask for as a brother in terms of competition. You know you would think - my brother Rick is an ideal situation where he never admits defeat; this dude fought me every single day. And to the extent that bigfan used to come out and disable the board because we were fighting way too much. And my other brother was always gone – he’s been serving a suspension for two years.
And the competition didn't stop there - my CSFMB sister, who has been around longer than me, Spaulding, never wanted to post in threads by herself. She hung out in the Drinky thread, currying favor from horndogs like Spanky and Regular Reader, to become more popular than me, to join the IS0P that didn’t want me, and to be elected to the official Hall of Fame - prior - than me. And you guys sit there asking where is my competition or where did my competitive nature come from? It came from them. It came from Degenerate Dave, who's not here today. And spmack, who's not here today - obviously he's with us in all of us. I mean my competitive nature has gone a long way from the first time I logged in to any message board – Larz’s CRM, Chicago Barn to Wire, Raging Bull, ESPN - anything to avoid work, I posted on it.
So they started the fire in me - that fire started with my parents. And as I moved on in my career people added wood to that fire. The Original Kid Cairo, you know what else can I say about him? You know, he's legendary in the game of multing. And then there's Phil McCracken. Now you guys think that's a myth. Phil McCracken was a guy when I joined the board - on the CSFMB - and he's here tonight. He's still the same less than funny guy - he's not any funnier - probably his posts are about the same. But he started the whole process with me, because when I joined the board he was more popular than me, I wanted to prove not just to Phil McCarcken, not just to myself, but to all those members who thought Phil McCarcken was funnier than me, I wanted to make sure you understood - you made a mistake dudes.
And then there's Good Dolphin, my rival. Now when I first met Dolphin- all I heard about was this kid from St. Ignatius who's a first ballot Hall of Famer. I'm thinking, 'well he ain't never posted against me yet, so how did he become a Hall of Famer?' Is that some type of media exposure? You know I came from Evanston; you know we had AOL dial-up in my house. I never got into the Internet or any message boards because that shit was so slow, so Good Dolphin became a dot on my board. And when I got the chance to meet Good Dolphin on the message board or in person - Dolphin was a great person, it wasn't a fault of his. It was just that my competitive nature - I didn't think that he could beat me, or he was better than me as a poster. And he became my friend. And from that point on, he became a vocal point - not knowingly; he didn't know it - but he did. And Keeping Score, the day that he listed the funniest posters and he didn't name me - that burned me up! Because I thought I belonged on that list. Now he had his own vision about giving a noob that exposure, and I totally understand that, but from a content sense I deserved to be on that list, and he understand that.
And it didn't stop there. You know, my competitive nature went right into the politics section; I get to the board, which I was very proud that - at the time- it was two years ago- the board was better. It was another board entirely. And Rogers Park Bryan took me under his wing. IMU was my first rival. IMU used to be losing arguments to me by taking one point of view. Then he would switch his position completely. So now I'm on the winning team, and half way in the argument, half way in the situation, he would flip his position. So I take that as a competitive thing of you trying to test me - and 9 times out of 10 I would switch right with him and out-argue him from the other side. But I hear he’s not like that in person. So I appreciate IMU for giving me that challenge - you know providing that type of fire within me; he threw another log on that fire for me.
Elmhust Steve- I mean what else can I say? One week I was on vacation and I didn’t even look at the board. And when I came back I read Steve arguing about numbers with Boilermaker Rick. It got very confusing as it seemed as if Steve was unable to compute simple addition and subtraction, let alone fractions - I don't agree with that math, you know?' And back then Steve did a lot of trolling attempting to annoy the members of the Black Lodge, but it never really worked as they just seemed to ignore him, but I didn't care about that, I just wanted to be the best. I wanted to be Poster of the Year. You know, I wanted to keep that energy going on the board. So I pm bigfan, and trade messages with him and say 'biggie, you know I’m the best poster you’ve got. Why the fuck aren’t I in the 1000 Club? And he granted me leeway to do some things that helped make me evern greater.
You know, bigfan provided a lot of different obstacles for me, but at the same time the guy gave me an opportunity to post at the highest level in terms of message boards, and the CSFMB - the whole CSFMB organization did a great justice for me and all of my fellow members - believe me I had a lot of fellow members over the 2 years that I’ve posted for the CSFMB. You know I respected each and every one of them, I just wanted to win. You know, it's how you want to look at it. And then along came SHARK who was caught in the whole midst of this Panther/Hank Scorpio/Crystal Lake Hoffy scandal. And, at the same time, you know when I was trying to start the day’s show thread, he said 'well, you're a part of the CSFMB and the CSFMB said you can't start the show thread. That’s my job.' and I said 'SHARK, I just pm’ed big fan. In my contract I have the 'love B&b clause' that means I can post a show thread anytime I want, any place I want.' And SHARK pm’ed me and said 'yea, you're right, you're right.' And that's how we became a little closer in terms of SHARK and myself. And Chris in Joliet is right there, and Chris is not here - I mean obviously, I don't know who invited him, I didn't, but uh. I hope he understands, I hope he understands it goes a long way, and he was a very competitive person and I was a very competitive person. He said 'the board elders are in charge here'. I said 'I didn't see the board elders posting the kind of funny shit that I do. I didn't see them posting with a 102 degree fever.' Granted, I think the board elders have their place, but at the end of the day, the clever posters go out and post, IS0P be damned You know, so in essence, I think the the posters win the championship, regardless of their join date and the IS0P has something to do with it - don't get me wrong. But don't try to put the IS0P above the posters, because at the end of the day the posters still got to go out there and perform. You guys gotta read us, but I still gotta go out and post.
Obviously, you see my mults – the late CoachNormanDale, the late Calvin Broadus - I love you guys. I think you guys represent a lot of me; a lot of different personalities. Your Mom, she represents Matt Spiegel. You know I think that you guys have a heavy burden. I wouldn't want to be you guys if I had to, because of all the expectations that you have to deal with - I mean look around you, they're charging $1000 tickets for this whole event. It used to be 200 bucks. But I paid it, you know, I had no choice. I had a lot of family, a lot of friends I had to bring in... so thank you Panthro for raising ticket prices, I guess.
But you guys - I love you guys - you guys, just so you know, you got a whole host of people supporting you; family, friends, people that you don't know. New mults coming out of the woodwork, you know, no matter how you look at it. But I think I taught you right and hopefully you can make the right decision when the time comes.
Thank you.
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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don
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