I'm sure I have mentioned here before that my longtime business partner is doing life in prison for blasting a guy that fucked us in a deal gone bad.

He writes interesting stories about life in prison that I will occasionally post here. I am transcribing them exactly as he wrote them.

PRISON TOILETS

Toilets are basically designed and built for one purpose and over the years they have evolved to perform their jobs exceedingly well. Today's prison toilet is built with superior materials which results in amazing power.

Virtually indestructible these prison toilets are capable in ingesting almost anything a maximum security prisoner can think of. Small items easily surrender: pens, books, magazines, tooth brushes, plastic cutlery, eye glasses, false teeth, chicken bones, apples, and keys.

To give an example of it's power, roll up any towel push the button and you are drawn instantly into a tug-of-war with the "Beast". The prison toilet is all business but there is still some fun to be had, we call it free wheeling, any roll of toilet paper will do. Simply feed in a leader and hit the power button, bam the reel un-spools just like you caught a trophy game fish (suitable for mounting).

For larger objects some disassembly is required and when the toilet has been properly tuned up, almost anything is digestible. The "Beast" has been know, to swallow up pillows, jackets, blankets, sheets and all forms of clothing. In fact if you can break it up there isn't anything this toilet can't handle. They are celestial black holes, acting like a portal to oblivion, nothing escapes.

Just think of the destruction one of these babies might cause around the home. As handy as they are for prisoners, adult supervision is required when small children and house pets are present. If only the prison toilet could suck up the stupidity that never seems to end in here!

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Oh that was YOU.

Couldn't remember if it was you or Eaglo Jeff

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After having met JORR's current business partner, I gotta say that JORR is the Jerry Angelo of picking people to work with it seems.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

+1

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Guess your partner had a high ceiling/low floor,whatever. There is no Partner bush that these guys grow on.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

I am not sure if I was ever a suspect, but I may well have been since he attempted to use me as an alibi. Of course, when the cops came in to interview me the next morning, they told me a bunch of stuff I later found out to be lies. That was my first lesson in never talking to cops. My mother was working for me at the time and she actually was angry with me for telling the cops everything I knew. But I figured, hey, this asswipe put me in this position, I don't owe him anything. And I know he agrees now looking back on it.

Things got even stickier when he attempted to have the guy killed from Lake County jail by paying some goof who ultimately turned out to be a jailhouse snitch.

Ultimately, the civil action in this case made it all the way to the Illinois Supreme Court. And it wasn't a unanimous slam dunk either. Had things gone the other way, Illinois law would have been rewritten and you'd be responsible if you had some inkling a guy might commit a crime and didn't warn the victim. Of course, that's happy horseshit. Guys pop off about stupid stuff all the time. I managed to skate around that litigation as the guy went after the two guys with the deepest pockets. And anyway, I was really just an ancillary player in the project.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

How did the guy screw you?

Did he deserve to die?

Is your former partner contrite?

I don't think anyone deserves to die over money. Money just isn't that important to me. But you take a guy with a wife and two little kids and then turn him inside out financially, you may want to watch your ass. A rich guy will sue the shit out of you. The poor guy might take whatever recourse he has. In this case the poor guy believed his recourse was shooting the guy. I think the thing that put my partner over the edge was that the guy laughed in his face.

I believe my partner is sorry for what he has done to himself and his family, not what he did to that guy and his family. But who knows? I've never shot someone. I can't imagine how it feels.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Interesting.

Lunacy.

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@audioidkid

JORR, I am confused you mention he killed the guy and is serving life, then mention he tried to get a hit on the guy. What am I missing?

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

Is prison rape a reality or just some fantasy concocted by Scared Straight to make people afraid of prison?

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

The guy didn't die even though he was shot five times at point blank range. I believe he was able to identify the shooter as he was being airlifted to Lutheran General.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Any chance your partner gets parole anytime soon?

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That's a touchy subject with a guy who is spending his life inside. Also, in this case we're talking about a relatively old man. He probably isn't the ideal target for such a thing. But from conversations we've had, he has told me that in places he's been where it seemed most likely to happen, the prisoners were forced to shower shackled together three across and such a thing would have been very difficult.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I don't believe he is eligible until 2059 and he's about 55 years old or something like that. I suppose it's possible he could be freed before that what with the state running out of money, and a little old guy who has never done anything else wrong in his life and has been pretty much a model prisoner might be a likely candidate to free up space for someone "more dangerous". But I'm sure the guy he shot and his family would be screaming to high heaven if the State tried something like that.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

JORR you can tell us all the truth, you really shot the dude and he is just covering for you, right?

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

I can't blame a guy for snapping after working with JORR for a few years.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

I would be too if I was part of the family who had somebody murdered.

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Here is another of his stories:

COMPRESSION

Shower time in a max prison, is not to be missed. We're herded into a garage sized room, twenty five of us eager to wash up, but instead of singing it's all yelling.

It seems compressing these, these.......young urban characters in a shower triggers a shouting festival rivaling the roar of a shuttle lift-off. Each is hollering louder to be heard creating an escalating spiral of damaging noise and what's amazing, each knows exactly what's being shouted every where at once! Some boom across the room while others close by are flourishly shouting. It's like nuclear noise!

I first noticed this ridiculous behavior awaiting a court date in a packed bull-pen, the racket was a jarring cacophony of audio crap. A runaway chain reaction...sound intensity accelerating beyond the normal hearing range in just seconds, quite unbelievable.

Does this barbaric performance occur in other states? Is it just an urban phenomenon or what? How would Freud diagnose this situation? To me it's quite clear, their having a wonderful time yelling at friends. However what's easy to see is atomically destructive hear and that's the part I don't understand.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Naturally. But a lot of people who get murdered probably don't have people to do that for them. That's why I think it would be hard for this guy to be released, even though from an economic standpoint if they start shortening sentences, he would be the kind of guy who makes sense.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I dont think JORR is saying they're wrong.

Not murder though.

Wow, I thought that is what you meant.


Holy crap, thanks for the explanation.

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

No, I'm not. That's why I put quotes around "more dangerous". My partner is a dangerous man. Anyone who rings a guy's doorbell and fires at him is dangerous. We were as close as brothers, but you have to remember I had a business relationship with him too. I don't think he would ever try to hurt me, but who the hell knows?

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

WHO ARE WE

I'm at our table with the usual guys, a weekly meeting spot to discuss topics influencing our world. Can you guess who we are?

To my left is "Doc", a robust fellow full of spirit, he knows medicine, human physiology, pathology and has a good job. Facing me is "Kelly", our eldist, slender good natured and reserved he knows earth science, physics, geology and is quite a logical thinker but he's between jobs. On my right "JT", this kid knows chemistry, biology, psychology, very quick witted and with big glasses he looks like "Morocco Mole" the cartoon character at least to me, "JT" doesn't work, says he's retired. Finally me, name's Ed, I'm a slim nervous person with a short attention span. I know money, real estate, insurance, state and municipal financing and politics plus I've a good job.

Lately the headings are energy related; solar, wind, nuclear or geothermal, maximum production with minimal environmental impact, "Kelly" and "JT" excel here. Politics is also talked, Obama v McCain or the war in Iraq and the growing economic power house called China. One topic we all know is our state's correctional system, it's history, present problems and dismal future. Getting information from a secretive and corrupt department is sketchy at best plus, boundless rumors cloud everything so it's difficult to see what ahead.

You might feel we're volunteer advisors, problem solvers or analyst meeting for lunch maybe guys gathering at the club for cards or even members of a think tank. Actually we are a watch dog group meeting weekly in the gym at the Menard Correctional Prison in southern Illinois.

You see we're convicted murders (except me I only attempted) "Doc" and "JT" are naturals while "Kelly" and I have mathematical life. We meet weekly to discuss our future and hope for the best.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I missed that episode of OZ

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

CONTROL GONE WILD

You should see the security policy for entering the prison yard- talk about over powering control- this place excels. The swarming guards create a smothering situation. Fort Knox is less secure.

We're paired up and driven through a gauntlet of tense guards waiting to search, poke, look, probe, feel or press anywhere they want. So in we go, two by two for our body inspections- arms and legs spread, the examination begins- your doctor isn't even this thorough! Incidentally this occurs under the watchful eyes of armed tower guards, locked and loaded, trigger fingers at the ready. Finally we pass a wand metal detector looking for metallic objects in our shoes. If you're bringing a shank, shiv or other persuasive equipment to the yard it'll be in your shoes. Upon completing this traffic stop we're allowed (or is it rewarded) yard time anyhow off we go.

I recall navigating "The Gauntlet of Inspection" one day, when "The Wand" went off on me at the shoe station. Oh no, how could this be, I'm an old, small man, only my feet are in my shoes. After a second attempt with the same tragic results, I'm guided to the ground (NHL defensemen don't hit this hard). Pinned, pasted and smeared, I'm looking at the concrete like I've never seen it before at the microscopic level, I'm that close!

Radios blaring ("all available units- stat") guards are sprinting from every direction, the riflemen take aim, I'm the cause of all this, ugh! Whoa, here comes the command staff all puffed up and ready to command. My shoes are quickly severed, actually I'm lucky to still have my feet. Florsheim salesmen, they're not. "check them shoes again", they bark. Same story, "beep, beep, beep". That's it, my shoes are opened and gutted like a field dressed deer!

Now I'm surrounded by every available guard (more are still arriving), the tower has me in their sights, all that's missing are helicopters, spotlights, sirens, and dogs. Perhaps they're enroute! "check the wand", someone shouts. "Yeah, let me see that!", the Major says. All is quiet. Then he says, "I don't believe this, it's a low battery alarm!!!"

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

this is some compelling stuff...post more.

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@audioidkid