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 Post subject: 5/3: Collins Me Maybe
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 2:01 am 
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Jason Collins is gay and that's so great it'll make you cry!

Susannah Collins got fired and that's so shitty it'll make you cry!

Bob Collins died about thirteen years ago and now WGN-AM is probably dying and that should also make you cry!

Chris Collins is the head coach at Northwestern and in a thoroughly unrelated story I am slicing an onion!

Clinton's musicians, such as Bootsy Collins, raise expectation to a new intention!

from Deadspin, regarding Miss Gas Money's "mutual" (snort) termination:
Quote:
According to the Chicago Tribune, CSN says Collins was not fired for reasons related to that verbal stumble but, bizarrely, because of a series of web programs created years ago that earned new attention due to "a tremendous amount of sex."

That sure sounds like she was fired for "a tremendous amount of sex."
Quote:
As co-host of Sports Nutz, Collins pushed the boundaries of sports journalism — and good taste — with sexually explicit reports and potentially offensive racial stereotypes.


OBJECTIVE: get Dan Bernstein to accidentally say "sex."

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 2:37 am 
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Curious Hair wrote:
Jason Collins is gay and that's so great it'll make you cry!

Susannah Collins got fired and that's so shitty it'll make you cry!

Bob Collins died about thirteen years ago and now WGN-AM is probably dying and that should also make you cry!

Chris Collins is the head coach at Northwestern and in a thoroughly unrelated story I am slicing an onion!

Clinton's musicians, such as Bootsy Collins, raise expectation to a new intention!

from Deadspin, regarding Miss Gas Money's "mutual" (snort) termination:
Quote:
According to the Chicago Tribune, CSN says Collins was not fired for reasons related to that verbal stumble but, bizarrely, because of a series of web programs created years ago that earned new attention due to "a tremendous amount of sex."

That sure sounds like she was fired for "a tremendous amount of sex."
Quote:
As co-host of Sports Nutz, Collins pushed the boundaries of sports journalism — and good taste — with sexually explicit reports and potentially offensive racial stereotypes.


OBJECTIVE: get Dan Bernstein to accidentally say "sex."


Bob Collins was the kind of guy who would unexpectedly drop in on his fans.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 2:48 am 
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susannah collins got fired?!?! OH SHIT, HOLLAR AT MY PEOPLE IN THE JUNGLE.... COMCAST SPORTS NET NEEDS TO BE RACKED HERE!!!!

* rack 'em *

that bitch always annoyed me, real talk.... she was so thoroughly average and mundane with this obviously put-on fake enthuiasm for everything that tried to mask her innately vapid lack of personality (i'd go even further and say that she's essentially got a black hole where her personality would otherwise be) and, again real talk so seriously DR. KEN TELL THE KIDS TO GO IN THE OTHER ROOM CUZ THIS IS #REALTALK HERE: she just aint that fine..... i mean the whole female psyche in contemporary society has been mangled by mass/media to the point where women are some sort of showcase of "what can the species do for YOU?" (feminists <3 me, the CIS scum that i am.... i'd better check my privilege) and....wow.

yeah wow that paragraph was an utter clusterfuck and i've kind of backed out of a good facebook conversation with an old HS friend (well, again, real talk it was more like i was in a groove and @ the lectern, but i'll be damned if when i got shit to say i ain't proper radio show material..... obviously that's why the score went the stephen berger route)

OK DR. KEN, YOU CAN BRING THE KIDS BACK.

yeah, as much as i'd hate for ANYONE to lose their job during these tough economic times, it's like..... hell yeah comcast! put 'er there* high 5 * i just disliked susannah soooooooo much that like, i'm actively celebrating this! well it's not that i really hated her to the point that her presence reviled me, it was just like she was such an aggressive non-yeah that she, almost by default, became a nothing and like, her fake fake FAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKEEEEEEEEEEE perma-cheery demeanor combined with that doofy-looking grin she's always got combined with the stupid platitudes she'd drop on all of the great unwashed masses she'd do trivia with on cas money..... NO MORE! V-CSN DAY!!!! SOMEONE GET HAWK TO SAY SHE GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah, like, idk.... be a bitch, be a heifer, be a stuck up model who's stuck up cuz of the things stuck up in her for the right price (i'm sure april rose can use a lil easier money, nah'mean?) but if you're gonna give me a hokey quiz show that we love in teh style of fun-bad, give me a host i can like..... not a cardboard cutout of annoying masquerading as a human being.

good riddance susannah, i hardly ever knew ye.... and now i never have to! jesus christ bitch, aint you figured out that the clever ppl on your show took advantge of your stupid adhd permabouncing thing and read the answers off of your cue card indiscreetly while you were mugging for the camera?

and in teh name of al pacino's favorite sin, that has been the first decent siniclapytickle post in a long time! WOOHA!

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 2:49 am 
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Hahaha that never gets old. God bless Terry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=icMroaiID6w

This appears to be the "questionable" video, a reading of Darryl Dawkins's autobiography. Not only did he have a monster dunk, but he also had an ass in his face. I dunno, I guess the ebonics voices are a little dicey, but really this just seems like Cute Girls Being Silly On Youtube, and that's a national treasure.

Quote:
What?
Hnnnh?
Whatthefuck?
Hmmmm???
Long as it's right here.
Lickety-split.
DAAAAMN
THIS AIN'T HALF-BAD

gold. And that was the other girl!

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 2:54 am 
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CH, greetings on this wonderful friday morning.... can you please confirm for me that, indeed, susannah collins is fired? i need this today.... please don't let me down.

yours,

# sir needstomakeabetterpizzaplacewitticisminhisprofilealot

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 2:58 am 
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http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/ ... 4722.story

Here you go. It's Tribune-Official for you. Celebrate as you see fit.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 3:01 am 
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Curious Hair wrote:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/breaking/chi-comcast-sportsnet-chicago-reporter-susannah-collins-parting-ways-with-network-20130502,0,3134722.story

Here you go. It's Tribune-Official for you. Celebrate as you see fit.


i love the way that you capitalized the H in Curious *H*air as a tribute to SHARK. well played, sir.

btw, are the blackhawks gonna roll all the way up to the mighty ducks and we get a proper series that, quite honestly, my hoodoo powers tell me we're gonna lose? if i go with my #s i saw a rather unlucky one in their final tally and like, they didn't beat anaheim this year now did they?

sry to be ruining the fun and games in the wake of V-CSN day, but like, while i've got your attention without the usual slew of board-related-hijinks to delay the response, i midaswell get your hockey information cuz you are nothing if not hockey informative.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 3:06 am 
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I think the Hawks will dispatch the Wild and face the Red Wings, who will beat the Ducks in seven, in the second round. Detroit can roll its lines better than Anaheim can, and if history has taught us anything about Bruce Boudreau, it is that his teams will make critical brainfarts in postseason play.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 3:07 am 
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hey dr ken, hide the kids again................

i'm sitting here watching an episode of sports nutz (mainly cuz i FINALLY got youtube working at the house) and holy shit, sam raddock could get it.

she could also "get it" from dan bernstein in this bit from episode #1 where they imply that her ex boyfriend's "dark" secret was being gay. if they think that being gay is a "dark" secret well then they best have been protesting with the WBC last night.

ok the kids are allowed back now. and that joke is done.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 3:09 am 
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Yeah, usually I'm not into blondes, but that's one srs qt there. I wonder what became of her. CSN should've hired both of them and coached up their acting.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 3:12 am 
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Curious Hair wrote:
I think the Hawks will dispatch the Wild and face the Red Wings, who will beat the Ducks in seven, in the second round. Detroit can roll its lines better than Anaheim can, and if history has taught us anything about Bruce Boudreau, it is that his teams will make critical brainfarts in postseason play.


oh man.... i have a friend who is a huge red wings fan....i mean, growing up he and his good buddy fell in love with the wings and that's their team, and then he used that love to foster an anti-chicago/establishment sports thing (except for the cubs.... go figure), and like, i have to give him text updates on the playoffs whilst he works the night shift and all that, and like..... horry sheeeit, since i think the hawks are gonna peter out somewhere in these playoffs (he thinks it'll be the pens), man, if detroit was able to be the #7 seed that knocked off THESE blackhawks....

dude, i'm not really a blackhawks fan or anything, but still, that'd ruin my sports year up until packers season when this friend gets REALLY annoying. yeah, his 2nd love became the favre-led-packers, esp when his mom started dating a packers fan and like, yeah just.... yeah. he's the most sports textiest friend i've got and it's all wings/packers. suffice to say, he actually thinks i'm a BigFan of both cuz it's a loooooonnngggg troll.

but what do you think.... will my unlucky # be inconsequential and these hawks will carry the day? or are a line-shifty wings team, a ducks squad, or even a crosby-enhanced pens team something that the hawks should seriously fear?

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 3:17 am 
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Curious Hair wrote:
Yeah, usually I'm not into blondes, but that's one srs qt there. I wonder what became of her. CSN should've hired both of them and coached up their acting.


yeah with dear ole sam, there's just something about her innate bitchiness that seems quite attractive in an antangonistic way.... you know, like there'd be a lot of sarcastic sniping in the conversations that would lead to double entendres....like their classy zoom in on the football player's crotch when they put up the SPORTS NUTZ (space age) lettering.

i hope someone somewhere somehow can give me an amen on the susannah collins thing, cuz like, she just sucked the life out of me during gas money and as i said, it wasn't hate.... it was just the utter absence of like. really weird.... inhuman, hence the android postulation of before.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 3:27 am 
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Haha, I know a guy who is a huge Wings fan and also a huge European soccer fan. I barely know anything about soccer, but I haven't the heart to say so after all these years of asking just enough superficial follow-up questions to politely appear engaged, so I'm really kind of forever fucked into keeping these soccer conversations on life support.

But anyway, I'm not worried about the Wings and Penguins so much as the Ducks, if only because of the empirical evidence that shows the Hawks can beat the Wings (swept them) but not the Ducks (were swept). People will be like "H'YEAH YOU GAWTTA THROW OUT THE NUMBERS IT'S A WHOLE NEW SEASON NOW." Bullshit. I'd rather go by some bit of data than just throw up my hands and say whatever. Anyway, the Ducks are playing more wide-open under Boudreau than they did under Carlyle, and they still have the big bodies to throw around. More than anything, Teemu Selanne and Sheldon Souray just seem to give the Hawks fits. I don't know how many times Souray has actually gotten a pass off the draw and cranked a slapper for a goal, how many he's attempted it without scoring, and how many I've just imagined and feared it, but it just seems like he gets the better of us a lot. The only positive I can come up with is that I'm still not sold on their bottom six, especially in postseason play when it becomes increasingly tempting to double-shift Perry/Getzlaf/Ryan/Selanne.

As for the Penguins, who the Hawks never played this year because of the short season, I think the Hawks match up well. Pittsburgh is the best in the league in scoring goals but pedestrian in preventing them, which augurs well for a team that's next-best in scoring and best at preventing. Dominate time of possession as the Hawks are wont to do for the first time since the Cup year, and suddenly the Pens become pretty vulnerable.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 6:37 am 
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Mike North better hope that Fox doesn't find one of the 15 copies of Caucasian Man that were sold.

Oh wait a minute, Fox would probably give him a promotion for subtle but not really subtle at all racism.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 7:02 am 
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So this was McDonough's doing, right? I know I sound a little Beardowny here, but there has to be more to this for him to be this sensitive about an innocuous Freudian slip.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 7:27 am 
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My God, if they were going to shit can her over those Sportz Nutz shorts, it shouldve been because they werent funny not for anything else. Fucking pc police out in force again. Sam Raddock, thatd be some good eating there, boys.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 8:20 am 
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Anyone going to the remote today?

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 9:52 am 
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Maybe Marla Collins will make a guest appearance!!

Image

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 10:18 am 
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badrogue17 wrote:
My God, if they were going to shit can her over those Sportz Nutz shorts, it shouldve been because they werent funny not for anything else. Fucking pc police out in force again. Sam Raddock, thatd be some good eating there, boys.


I thought that was really funny.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 10:36 am 
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good dolphin wrote:
badrogue17 wrote:
My God, if they were going to shit can her over those Sportz Nutz shorts, it shouldve been because they werent funny not for anything else. Fucking pc police out in force again. Sam Raddock, thatd be some good eating there, boys.


I thought that was really funny.


+1

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 10:47 am 
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Regular Reader wrote:
good dolphin wrote:
badrogue17 wrote:
My God, if they were going to shit can her over those Sportz Nutz shorts, it shouldve been because they werent funny not for anything else. Fucking pc police out in force again. Sam Raddock, thatd be some good eating there, boys.


I thought that was really funny.


+1


and it really isn't all that questionable. She isn't editorializing. She is reading the words of a signficant person in her industry. It would be like thinking an actress is permicuous because she did a nude scene.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 11:00 am 
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What a terrible title.


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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 11:02 am 
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I still find it even funnier that Dawkins admitted it in his book. That was taboo amongt the brethren back in the day. :lol:

CSN should correct this wrong & hire the other, clearly more qualified girl in the Browns T-shirt.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:18 pm 
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I would absolutely put money on a horse named It's My Lucky Day DaMaNeil.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:20 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
So this was McDonough's doing, right? I know I sound a little Beardowny here, but there has to be more to this for him to be this sensitive about an innocuous Freudian slip.


Sure sounds that way. It was funny to hear him and McNeil change places during transition.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:28 pm 
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This new Friday Open is growing on me. Wish they would use the old one on occasion

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:29 pm 
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Northside_Dan wrote:
This new Friday Open is growing on me. Wish they would use the old one on occasion

Wasn't I supposed to post it on YouTube? Was that you who requested that?

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:34 pm 
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Northside_Dan wrote:
This new Friday Open is growing on me. Wish they would use the old one on occasion


Get out of my brain!

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I would cover for SHARK, Drop In, Dave in Champaign, my Mom, and Urlacher's Missing Neck. After that, the list gets pretty thin. There are a few people about whom I would definitely fabricate charges.


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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:50 pm 
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Northside_Dan wrote:
This new Friday Open is growing on me. Wish they would use the old one on occasion

Agreed. Also dig that they add a new drop or two most Fridays as well


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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:58 pm 
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The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
Northside_Dan wrote:
This new Friday Open is growing on me. Wish they would use the old one on occasion

Wasn't I supposed to post it on YouTube? Was that you who requested that?


Yea, like 4 or 5 times, who is counting though. You're still okay in my book.

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