Because he was on duty, per Dan.

_________________
-- source

Spiegel laughed uncontrollably.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

The p is silent

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The guys are live at Chelios' Bar & Grill, 2150 Ogden Ave. in Aurora this afternoon between NOW & 6P. They've got Cubs' tickets for a "future game" thanks to Bud Light, the latest stop on the "Bud Light 'Who Needs Two?' Tavern Tour".

Shark, forget about this stupid show. Gimme your go to joke.

Duty=doody=shit

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Keeping Score, try this one:

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Smell mop
Smell mop who
No thank you.

A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"

_________________
-- source

Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
A: An udder failure.

Why do graveyards have fences around them

because everyone is dyeing to get in

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

The "per Dan" part really made the joke, imo... Not sure why...

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This is my signature...

Not sure if totally works but I get it

Grabbed this one online:

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.

Q: Why didn't the boy believe the tiger?
A: He thought it was a lion!

Dog walks into a bar with a bandage on his foot. He looks at the bartender, and with a determined look says, "I'm lookin' for the hombre that shot my paw."

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. - Bill Hicks

Let's do it for Johnny!

Couldn't do it today, you guys. Heard Terry the Parrot say "Yep, that's what I think, too" one too many times today. I'll be on S&W. Waddle is wearing capri pants today for charity.

_________________
-- source

Dan and Terry arguing a little. I like it.

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Ба́бушка гада́ла, да на́двое сказа́ла—то ли до́ждик, то ли снег, то ли бу́дет, то ли нет.

2 posts a minute apart from each saying the exact opposite of what is happening on the show....

The essence of the typical B&B thread. We all hear what we want to hear.

_________________

well, now Terry's realizing he's kinda wrong.

_________________
Ба́бушка гада́ла, да на́двое сказа́ла—то ли до́ждик, то ли снег, то ли бу́дет, то ли нет.

Q: What was the title of the biography about the Iranian king that liked guys?

A: Memoirs of a Gay Shah.

Q: What do you call a carousel that the guitarist from Led Zeppelin is riding on?

A: A Page turner.

Q: What do you call the person giving Bradley Cooper's girlfriend a haircut?

A: A beard trimmer.

Q: What did the psychoanalyst wear to bed?

A: A Freudian slip.

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Brought up the Morrisey/Rose shit again. Have Abattacola call him or SHUT THE FUCK UP....immature assholes......it's okay to ask Kareem about Alford...but talk to Morrisey about this NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Jagoffs

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

Yeah, I've gotta second this. It's getting really old.

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. - Bill Hicks

Let's do it for Johnny!

Alex English was a forward...

I don't think people realized at the time how important Goff was to this show.

Here are the Preakness picks by my anus Orb.Will take Charge, and Itsmyluckday! Same as Dans kid

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

Aaaaaaand it's Maddux Boy to slurp some B&B dick.

_________________
I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. - Bill Hicks

Let's do it for Johnny!

If I didn't write it, I'd be surprised.

But OKC was definitely at the head of the charge on that one.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

just another indicator that your bullshit meter should be on high any time they pretend to be an expert:

On Friday they were analyzing NBA draft possibilities. Adams, the center from Pitt, came up and was immediately dismissed. Today in the Sun Times I read that he starred at the Combine after being measured at a legitimate 7' and knocking down mid range jumpers.

I know they would never say it but I assume their knowledge of the guy extended no farther than a big, white guy from Pitt and they immediately equated him with Gray. That didn't stop them from opining.

_________________
O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Guy comes home with a duck under his arm. He walks into the living room where his wife is sitting and says "Honey, this is the pig I'm fucking". His wife says "That's a duck". Guy says, "I was talking to the duck"...

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"I'm not smiling because I thought what you said was humorous. I'm smiling because one day I know you'll be dead..."