I waited 2 and a half years and picked up a very nice 2010 Western Conference Championship shirt from the pro shop at the UC during a game this year for 3.99.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

And yet he is unaware as to which flag is known as the "Stars and Bars".

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

This coming from the radio host that is always screaming "WHY DO YOU CARE?!?!?!?!?!" when callers ask him questions about things he brings up.

What a pud.

It's likely not that important to them because sports is only a diversion as they have other shit to worry about and get worked up over.

I would think he would trot out the "OH MY GOD WHY DO YOU CARE?" schtick at someone who was foolish enough to think they were connected with a team on any level and cared too much, likening them to the people who call Doug and OB after a Bears game.

only settle for championships...because it gives you that self satisfied feeling of superiority that fades within 72 hours when you realize lessers are also feeling superior which, of course, means you aren't superior and allows the self loathing to start creeping back!

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

dan's a fucking idiot for the whole "you have to accept every season without a championship as an abject failure" line of thought.... i mean yeah yeah rah rah rah that sounds great when you say it on radio, and as a media/pundit figure he's gotta "hold their feet to the fire" and whatnot.... but if you're into sports only for victories then you're gonna be a permanently miserable Caller Bob who is unable to take joy in the whole of sports save those ~5%-at-best chances that you get championships.

sports are their own contained little universes of a traveling sideshow that's supposed to distract you from the banality of your day to day life. if you're hellbent on CHAMPIONSHIPS OR BUST, while head-tribesmen like dan will assault your character by asking why you watch, in the end you're just gonna be a perpetually miserable frontrunner who has to latch on to issues that "transcend the sport" in order to feel "important" cuz you're not satisfied with the sport in and of itself, as you're only there for the "glory" that comes with winning

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Wasn't Bernstein the same guy that tweeted a picture of his kid and wife at a playoff
Game this year wearing Hawks championship gear from 09-10?

That would be ME.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

By the way, anyone have a recommendation for the best place to pick up some Blackhawks Stanley Cup trinkets and baubles? I'm in Evanston and am looking for t-shirts, posters, pennants, bobbleheads, etc. Thanks!

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Like OKC says, even when his overall point is right he manages to be an asshole.


Adds "big-league, professional franchise" to make sure you feel bad for celebrating your alma-mater or favorite college team winning.


Weeeellll excuuuuse me.


What the shit? A hat your kid might wear everyday...dumb. A video they might watch once or twice, or magazine or newspaper they might frame but won't use until 20 years later when they get their 1st apartment or home....good.



I've grown to appreciate how he fabricates this shit out of thin air. How he appreciates LeBron being the best basketball player on the planet I've grown to appreciate Bernstein being the most full of shit person on the planet.


Like say....newspapers, magazine or videos?



Had to mention pro. College sports? Those people are fucked in the head. Amirite?


Good call. Can't wait to buy my glossy magazine. Find a nice quiet spot, flip to the page where Stalberg is getting a facial of champagne and jerk it for 3 hours.

i know a place you could go.... and hell, if you time it right you can get an autograph from hector santiago for $20 or under!

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Bernstein's whole column is an allegory of championing the values of the upper middle class. Savor the quiet time like the well-educated members of the professional-managerial class. Enjoy your separation from the cluttered, trivializing, grasping world of the working class. The parties or celebrations with large groups of people are less refined, less important, and perhaps most dangerously, a reminder of the power that average people have when they join together as a collective.

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I saw a couple make shift stands on street corners already. I imagine there will be a proliferation by the end of the day

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

And the above is why BernSTINE loves to regale us listeners with his tales of why he loves Waffle Houses and such.

Stand aside, you mouth-breathing cretins ... it's The Daniel Bernstein Intellectual Joke Extgravaganza:

Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving, and get pulled over. Heisenberg is in the driver's seat, the officer asks "do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "No, but I know exactly where I am!" The officer looks at him confused and says "you were going 108 miles per hour!" Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, "Great! Now I'm lost!" The officer, now more confused and frustrated orders the men outside of the car, and proceeds to inspect the vehicle. He opens the trunk and yells at the two men, "Hey! Did you guys know you have a dead cat back here?" Schrodinger angrily yells back, "We do now, asshole!"



3 logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Do all of you want a drink?"
The first logician says "I don't know."
The second logician says "I don't know."
The third logician says "Yes!"


Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek.
It's Einstein's turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten.
Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square on the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it.
Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes. He sees Newton immediately and exclaims "Newton! I found you! You're it!"
Newton smiles and says "You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!"



Three professionals, a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer, took their final test for the job. The sole question in the exam was "how much is one plus one".
The mathematician asked the receptionist for a ream of paper, two hours later, he said: I have proven its a natural number
The physicist, after checking parallax error and quantum tables said: its between 1.9999999999, and 2.0000000001
The engineer quicly said: oh! its easy! its two,.... no, better make it three, just to be safe.
(sorry doug)


A pastor, a doctor and an engineer are on a golf course behind an especially slow group.
When the marshal comes around, they decide to ask him what the deal is.
He tells them the slow play is because it is a group of blind firefighters, who saved the clubhouse from a fire that blinded them, so they get to play for free.
The pastor claims "That is terrible, I will say a prayer for them."
The doctor says "I can contact an ophthalmologist friend who has done wonders with the blind."
The engineer says "Why don't they just play at night?"
(you're welcome, doug)


A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting outside of a bar when two men walk into the house across the road…10 minutes later, three men walk out.
The physicist looks confused and says “There must be an error in the measurements.”
The biologist retorts “No, they must have reproduced!”
To which the mathematician says “If one person goes inside, the house will be empty.”


A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says "make me one with everything".

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

There's a couple at Union Station. Been there all playoffs. Not sure about prices...

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"I'm not smiling because I thought what you said was humorous. I'm smiling because one day I know you'll be dead..."

There will likely be some consternation at Toews playing with concussion symptoms...

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"I'm not smiling because I thought what you said was humorous. I'm smiling because one day I know you'll be dead..."

It's sparkling wine! Get it right you philistine!

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There's nothing private and personal about liking sports. The whole point is to share it, discuss it, enjoy it, hate it with others. Professor Lawrence Pierce of the University of Chicago writes, "I think Dan Bernstein gets stupider every year." That's not a question, Professor, but...

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I would like to feel sorry for the author but he's already made it clear that either he is too big of a star or I don't know him well enough to be worthy of empathy. The decision when made, like it was for his predecessor, will be a mostly business decision although what ever personal animus will be the result of more recent antics and adverbs as opposed to a long standing sentiment. He will look to his past with the promise of being able to return to it if just given another chance. He honestly believed in what he was doing and certainly didn't think there to be any harm or wrong. Other people need to grow to match the growth that he has personally enjoyed with each passing show.

Its about sports, something that is a collective process. Not something that someone seeks to define based upon their own set of peculiar and ever changing metrics. Mostly kids games that many of us played as kids, now played by athletes deemed professional. At one point you convinced the audience that you cared enough about sports that we should give you attention, now you look to insult, diminish, or castigate that same audience at almost every turn. You're right and therefore collectively we're all wrong, even those who call in professing to agree.

The final appeal of the predecssor was the impending car wreck that was coming, the last few months being the squealing tires as control was being steadily lost. This show's wreck is more like one on rails, and with each passing email read or twitter blast the pace of the demise quickens. No longer about sports, thinly veiled disdain for those who do like sports, and the desire to get away from sports.

Just like his predecessor, if it ain't about sports nobody is going to give a shit about you. Take away the microphone, the station and the pretense of sports, and you're just another of many flaming assholes that we all come across. Spewing what you can't smell and full of what you can't sell.

This board is cool but I'm done with this show. I'll enjoy the Stanley Cup, my wife will get me a shirt or hat and I'll appreciate it. Football is 4 weeks away.

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DRINK BƎTTƎR. @theRIPH

Wow.

That was awesome, NCM. Nicely done.

That was great. I guess it was too difficult to prevent non-stop snark from eventually developing into full blown, arguing-for-the-sake-of-arguing, cynicism. It's just not fun anymore.

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Bernstein tells us how to celebrate,hate,be a fan,have an opinion,to react to tragedy,how we are wrong.how we are morons.Hey Dan... Shut the Fuck Up

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

I know I can't deny that.

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I almost feel bad for Burn Stine. It seems that he is a completely joyless individual.

The beauty of something like the Hawks game last night and the emotion that flowed afterwards is the sweet temporary detachment from the trappings of a day at work, a naggy wife, or thinking about bills on the table... its about letting go and just feeling some raw joy in something that you've invested 150 or so hours watching during the regular season and another 60 or more in the post season.

Sometimes becoming lost in something completely meaningless in the grand scheme of things is meaningful in the safe and effective high that you obtain, the sense of belonging among your other fans and friends, the bonding you had during those times.

You would think that someone whose entire income depends on the world of sports would be less insulting to the basic concept of fandom.

I'm going to buy a 2013 hat. It's not a fruitless effort to create some "connection to victory", as I already have that, these were my teams that won those championships. My guys. Yours too, Blackhawks fans. no, I'll buy that hat and wear it because every time I wear it I'll think about those picture perfect 19 seconds when nothing but a 6 ounce round piece of rubber and a 35 lb piece of silver mattered.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Darko, did you ever work for Hallmark?

That last line kind of made me feel funny inside.

No, and I fucked up, the cup weighs 34 lbs.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

The Cup needs to bulk up. Douches like Bieber and Belushi couldn't lift it if it were 75 lbs.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

Bernstein was an English major, yet he has no fucking clue when to hyphenate a phrasal adjective.

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Fire Phil Emery

Glad I worked on my car most of today and didn't pay too much attention to him. What kind of person messes with someone's buzz for something like this just to be a dick?

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Elections have consequences.