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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:18 am 
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Ugueth Will Shiv You wrote:
I think the real question is what steps were taken to prevent child stupidity and enhance critical thinking skills prior to the day Junior wants to shotgun an Old Style with Dad.
I'd be thinking why is my Dad drinking such a shitty beer, critically.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:19 am 
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Ugueth Will Shiv You wrote:
The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
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Once weed becomes recreationally legal everywhere, which isn't far away, does everyone apply these same parenting guidelines(whichever side you fall on) to weed? Any differences?

For me, no differences. Not in my house.


Will you smoke it in your house when junior isn't around?

I haven't smoked in two years and likely won't again. So, no.

A big part of my decision to quit weed was my son. Though I never smoked around him, it would be hypocritical for me to dissuade him from smoking when his old man partakes.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:22 am 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
Ugueth Will Shiv You wrote:
I think the real question is what steps were taken to prevent child stupidity and enhance critical thinking skills prior to the day Junior wants to shotgun an Old Style with Dad.
I'd be thinking why is my Dad drinking such a shitty beer, critically.

Beer Snob Frank :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:23 am 
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Where are you Binny's Clerk?!?

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:26 am 
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I'd like to say that there is some good parenting and parenting thoughts going on in this thread here.

Keep it up, fellas. And good luck to ya.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:27 am 
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When you close off lines of communication by overreacting you won't know about a lot of things and therefore will be unable to prevent them. This is especially true with girls.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:28 am 
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Nas wrote:
When you close off lines of communication by overreacting you won't know about a lot of things and therefore will be unable to prevent them. This is especially true with girls.


:cry: :cry:

Shit is going to get real in the Scorpio home in about 13 years.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:30 am 
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Nas wrote:
When you close off lines of communication by overreacting you won't know about a lot of things and therefore will be unable to prevent them. This is especially true with girls.

But, its not overreacting and no lines of communication are being cut off


What are you talking about?


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:32 am 
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Hank Scorpio wrote:
Nas wrote:
When you close off lines of communication by overreacting you won't know about a lot of things and therefore will be unable to prevent them. This is especially true with girls.


:cry: :cry:

Shit is going to get real in the Scorpio home in about 13 years.


I learned early enough so I've been able to adjust my behavior and reactions. It's tough because you have to go against your instinct but it has been very effective.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:33 am 
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rogers park bryan wrote:
Nas wrote:
When you close off lines of communication by overreacting you won't know about a lot of things and therefore will be unable to prevent them. This is especially true with girls.

But, its not overreacting and no lines of communication are being cut off


What are you talking about?

He might have been saying grounding her for even getting the notion to drink is an overreaction.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:33 am 
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rogers park bryan wrote:
Nas wrote:
When you close off lines of communication by overreacting you won't know about a lot of things and therefore will be unable to prevent them. This is especially true with girls.

But, its not overreacting and no lines of communication are being cut off


What are you talking about?


If your kid knows you're going to react negatively they won't tell you anything.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:37 am 
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Nas wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
Nas wrote:
When you close off lines of communication by overreacting you won't know about a lot of things and therefore will be unable to prevent them. This is especially true with girls.

But, its not overreacting and no lines of communication are being cut off


What are you talking about?


If your kid knows you're going to react negatively they won't tell you anything.

What?

Why does having an open honest relationship with your kid require alcohol?


And I dont think saying no to your teenage kids plans to get wasted is overreacting.


Im not saying Id ground the kid for life, but Im certainly not gonna say "Have fun, have one for me!"


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:54 am 
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Kid: I want to do something illegal and something a young person like me really shouldn't be doing for scientific reasons.
Parent: Well, let me make it easier for you!

The worst part is that you then assume your kid won't go get wasted someplace else. Getting drunk while Dad sits upstairs with the puke bucket ready to help is going to get boring. Then, your kid comes home wasted because you've already established that being drunk is alright with you.

In all honesty, I'm very glad my parents made it very difficult to get alcohol in high school. I was much happier starting to drink in college.

Let your kids stay out late, or drive your new car, or let them act like an adult in the many legal ways you can. Don't encourage them to break the law in your own house.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:10 pm 
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Everyone I know who has serious alcohol/drug related issues now started between ages of 12-15.

As was said, it is not realistic to think kids aren't going to do stupid shit, but you don't make it easier for them to do.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:17 pm 
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RPB I would really love if you would stop saying things I never said. I'm generally in agreement with you when it comes to alcohol but if your plan is to react the way you've said you would then you can forget about knowing anything because they won't tell you. As your princess ages hopefully you'll see controlling your instinctive reaction will get you more in the long run.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:24 pm 
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rogers park bryan wrote:
And I dont think saying no to your teenage kids plans to get wasted is overreacting.


I'm guessing you're raising a kid who is going to be smart enough not to let you in on her plans to get wasted, if she has any.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:25 pm 
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So the whole family is boozing it up at the family BBQ and I'm going to tell my 19 year old he can't have a beer........with a straight face??

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:27 pm 
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Hatchetman wrote:
So the whole family is boozing it up at the family BBQ and I'm going to tell my 19 year old he can't have a beer........with a straight face??


Yes.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:28 pm 
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Nas wrote:
RPB I would really love if you would stop saying things I never said. I'm generally in agreement with you when it comes to alcohol but if your plan is to react the way you've said you would then you can forget about knowing anything because they won't tell you. As your princess ages hopefully you'll see controlling your instinctive reaction will get you more in the long run.

Do you think grounding a teenager for planning to "get wasted" is overreacting?

I dont.

Im confident she will feel open with me. I dont need to be her enabling BFF for her to trust me.
Also, its not like Id say "Go to your room, you disgust me" Id talk with her and explain why "getting wasted" is not a great idea and if she's going to make the choice to drink, getting wasted is not the way to go. Especially a teenage girl.

You guys are making it seem prudish to be against my teenager drinking and I think you're probably thinking that's how I handle everything.

Its not. Im not a "because I said so" parent. The exact opposite actually. I think being strict on a few things, like alcohol, is fine and you can do it without losing trust.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:29 pm 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
And I dont think saying no to your teenage kids plans to get wasted is overreacting.


I'm guessing you're raising a kid who is going to be smart enough not to let you in on her plans to get wasted, if she has any.

That's why I couldnt really answer Chris question. It wouldnt happen.

Although I suppose the mistaken text message could happen


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:30 pm 
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Hatchetman wrote:
So the whole family is boozing it up at the family BBQ and I'm going to tell my 19 year old he can't have a beer........with a straight face??

Why is your 19 year old kid in high school?


What if he's 16? Toss him a beer?


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:32 pm 
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rogers park bryan wrote:
Why is your 19 year old kid in high school?


Playing football at New Trier.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:34 pm 
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I never said if he was in high school or not. why does it matter? If you can vote you can have a beer at the family picnic.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:35 pm 
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BTW about 25% of kindergartners are now held back so they will be "smarter," so there will be A LOT of 19 year old high schoolers in the next decade. Brilliant idea.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:35 pm 
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good dolphin wrote:
pittmike wrote:
This discussion has been around a while. I do agree fully that drinking early on teen or even pre-teen is a bad thing and can be a problem later on. This is when bad drinking habits can and are introduced and reinforced. Not everyone is destined to a life of alcoholism but it can be a huge factor. One specific problem is tolerance. The earlier one drinks a lot the more one needs to reach their same buzzed level. Problem for driving with all the diligence and lower levels for DUI.

One area I step away from this thought some is the European attitude. It is definitely not a academic case study but pretty close. A lot of my colleagues are European. Not really any from UK/IRL but I digress. They are/were raised with a small glass of wine/beer at the sunday dinner table at a young age and there isn't the taboo aspect for them. Now their parents weren't bingers themselves nor did they throw them parties but they seem to be properly adjusted.

I think the US culture of binge drinking either in HS or college is a much bigger problem them many other alcohol aspects.


There is a much greater stigma attached to public intoxication in Europe.
I believe that may be true in Italy but not so much in most other European countries. Assuming this chart is accurate, Europe does more than it's fair share of partying http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_alcohol_consumption :drunken:

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:35 pm 
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Hatchetman wrote:
I never said if he was in high school or not. why does it matter? If you can vote you can have a beer at the family picnic.

I agree. Ive maintained college age is different.

Im talking high school age.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:37 pm 
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rogers park bryan wrote:
Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
And I dont think saying no to your teenage kids plans to get wasted is overreacting.


I'm guessing you're raising a kid who is going to be smart enough not to let you in on her plans to get wasted, if she has any.

That's why I couldnt really answer Chris question. It wouldnt happen.

Although I suppose the mistaken text message could happen


That touches on something though. It seems to me there's a certain permissiveness among the wealthy that isn't so widespread in the middle class. In my experience, parents condoning all kinds of shit their kids did was much more prevalent on the North Shore.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:38 pm 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
And I dont think saying no to your teenage kids plans to get wasted is overreacting.


I'm guessing you're raising a kid who is going to be smart enough not to let you in on her plans to get wasted, if she has any.

That's why I couldnt really answer Chris question. It wouldnt happen.

Although I suppose the mistaken text message could happen


That touches on something though. It seems to me there's a certain permissiveness among the wealthy that isn't so widespread in the middle class. In my experience, parents condoning all kinds of shit their kids did was much more prevalent on the North Shore.

The reasons are pretty simple. If anything bad ever happens to those kids, they can usually buy their way out of trouble.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:39 pm 
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rogers park bryan wrote:
Nas wrote:
RPB I would really love if you would stop saying things I never said. I'm generally in agreement with you when it comes to alcohol but if your plan is to react the way you've said you would then you can forget about knowing anything because they won't tell you. As your princess ages hopefully you'll see controlling your instinctive reaction will get you more in the long run.

Do you think grounding a teenager for planning to "get wasted" is overreacting?

I dont.

Im confident she will feel open with me. I dont need to be her enabling BFF for her to trust me.
Also, its not like Id say "Go to your room, you disgust me" Id talk with her and explain why "getting wasted" is not a great idea and if she's going to make the choice to drink, getting wasted is not the way to go. Especially a teenage girl.

You guys are making it seem prudish to be against my teenager drinking and I think you're probably thinking that's how I handle everything.

Its not. Im not a "because I said so" parent. The exact opposite actually. I think being strict on a few things, like alcohol, is fine and you can do it without losing trust.


You're still doing it. I wouldn't be too confident in what any kid will do. A lot of parents think they "know" their kids and learn the hard way.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:46 pm 
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Why would you assume your kid is not doing worse stuff outside the house if they are doing bad stuff in your house with your permission?

Like your kids are at a party and someone says "Hey, want a beer?" and they say "No, I only get drunk when my parents are watching".

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