|
This new alignment sucks a big bag of small dicks. 32 out of 82 games are against the East. Yes, finally, we get to see the Hurricanes, Devils, and Lightning home and away every year; my life is fucking complete. Also, the season series are odd numbers of games, so you might only see Western teams, the ones that are supposed to be emphasized in this new playoff system, just once in your own barn. We're down to three games with Vancouver, two with Detroit, but we have like five against Colorado and Nashville. This is bullshit.
Anyway, if you're going to predict the standings, you have to do it by division, because the league doesn't seed by conference anymore. Instead, it's this goofy system where the top three seeds make the playoffs, plus two wild cards, which can get sent to playing either division winner. So it's back to the old system from the '80s, except
1) it's been made unnecessarily convoluted with the wild cards and the bullshit 14/16 setup
2) what's the point of trying to rekindle these old division rivalries when the makeup of the league has been changed so drastically? That is to say, what good is a Norris Division playoff when the Red Wings are out, the Maple Leafs are out, the Stars are in Dallas, and the Predators exist? Who in this world other than Crystal Lake Hoffy is jazzed about the Avs suddenly being a division rival?
3) The divisional playoff system sucked anyway because it kept feeding the same teams to the same teams every year to the point where their existences were virtually meaningless. No matter how good the Jets got, they'd just run into the Oilers. No matter how good the Whalers and Nords got, they'd just run into the Bruins and Habs. And our Norris Division put forth some teams so shitty that they didn't even belong in the league, much less the playoffs, but they'd still advance to the second round or better because someone had to.
But alas, this is what we have for now, so here's what I predict. X for playoff teams:
X - Los Angeles
X- Phoenix - They will have no business here if you look at the construction of this team, but having practices and training camp will make them better at their bullshit.
X -Anaheim
X - San Jose
X - Vancouver
Edmonton - They'll start really slow with their injuries and never quite recover.
Calgary - This team is going to shit up the joint big-time.
X - Chicago
X - St. Louis
X - Winnipeg
Minnesota - Predicting another big regression to the mean for these guys. They're really not that good.
Nashville - Again, better than they have any right to be. Their best scorer is probably Stalberg, guys!
Colorado
Dallas
X - Ottawa - Cup winners
X - Boston
X - Montreal
X - Toronto
Detroit - laugh and laugh as the Wings bitch and bitch about not getting to play enough road games in Eastern Time and then missing the playoffs when they finally do
Tampa Bay
Florida
Buffalo
X - Pittsburgh
X - Philadelphia
X - New York
X - Washington - It'll be another Capitals Special, you know, where they dog it all year and then bother to turn it on just enough to keep some much more interesting team out. Sorry, Isles!
Long Island
New Jersey
Columbus - They overachieved last year and now have a meat grinder of a schedule. Won't end well for the other bitch-about-time-zones team.
Carolina - Another team that will utterly shit up the joint.
Art Ross: KANER
Hart: Evgeni Malkin
Norris: Erik Karlsson
Calder: Nathan Drouin
Selke: Patrice Bergeron
Vezina: Ben Bishop
Richard: Stamkos
_________________ Molly Lambert wrote: The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.
|
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
