My dear internet friends,

I realize I have forsaken you for too long. First, a little about me.

I am still living. So a great big fuck you to all you who have wanted me dead.

Now, my extended lifespan and my Evil Social Alignment (worldview, if you will) have left me with plenty of love, advice and consoling to offer. Need advice picking a wedding present for a board member? Have trouble getting it up? Want a loved one dead? Have a stone in your shoe? Need to know which poisons work best? Cannot find that perfect cup of coffee? Need to know whether to offer the ass or the crotch?

So, since I have nothing better to do until my surgery, allow me to offer my services.

Is there anything that you internet morons need from your old Uncle J.A.C.K.?


Your dear friend in evil,
J.A.C.K.

P.S.
Fuck you Keeping Score.

_________________
My Mother was a witch...she was burned alive
Thankless little bitch, for the tears I cried
Take her down now, don't wanna see her face.
All blistered and burnt, can't hide my disgrace.
Am I evil? Yes. I am.

Hi Evil,

I have a high sex drive. It seems to be getting worse (better) as I age. Whom should I see about this?

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Me.

_________________
My Mother was a witch...she was burned alive
Thankless little bitch, for the tears I cried
Take her down now, don't wanna see her face.
All blistered and burnt, can't hide my disgrace.
Am I evil? Yes. I am.

Is Obamacare finally going to get you the help you need?

_________________
You know me like that.

If by help you mean death panel...

Most likely.

_________________
My Mother was a witch...she was burned alive
Thankless little bitch, for the tears I cried
Take her down now, don't wanna see her face.
All blistered and burnt, can't hide my disgrace.
Am I evil? Yes. I am.

Sorry,I only swing the bat from one side of the plate but at least now I can see what the "JACK" stands for.

_________________
favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

I have heard otherwise.
Have I not told you to delete your browsing history? Do you not wonder why you get "View Pictures of Singles" on your ad banners and they are all pictures of men?

_________________
My Mother was a witch...she was burned alive
Thankless little bitch, for the tears I cried
Take her down now, don't wanna see her face.
All blistered and burnt, can't hide my disgrace.
Am I evil? Yes. I am.

My guy!

_________________
Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

_________________
favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Zizou, you have been a great influence on my life.
Also, a great pain in my ass. Granted the pain fades after a few hours and a shower, but a pain nevertheless.
A wonderful aching pain.

_________________
My Mother was a witch...she was burned alive
Thankless little bitch, for the tears I cried
Take her down now, don't wanna see her face.
All blistered and burnt, can't hide my disgrace.
Am I evil? Yes. I am.

Fear not, love, for to deny ones impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.

_________________
My Mother was a witch...she was burned alive
Thankless little bitch, for the tears I cried
Take her down now, don't wanna see her face.
All blistered and burnt, can't hide my disgrace.
Am I evil? Yes. I am.

Voltare has said:"We have all had thoughts that would shame Hell"

_________________
favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Voltare says a bunch of stupid shit. Is he a relative of yours?

_________________
My Mother was a witch...she was burned alive
Thankless little bitch, for the tears I cried
Take her down now, don't wanna see her face.
All blistered and burnt, can't hide my disgrace.
Am I evil? Yes. I am.

To be totally frank,though I believe Gays should be allowed to marry and all that,it still turns my stomach when I see two dudes kissing. I don't even like the "Bro Hugs" on Sons of Anarchy!

_________________
favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

If you really were Frank, I would have sent you a PM asking if I could attend your gay wedding.

_________________
My Mother was a witch...she was burned alive
Thankless little bitch, for the tears I cried
Take her down now, don't wanna see her face.
All blistered and burnt, can't hide my disgrace.
Am I evil? Yes. I am.

My shit only seems stupid when mental midgets try to comprehend what they can not.

_________________
favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Your high opinion of yourself is quite attractive to Evil. I love a man who embraces his Id.

_________________
My Mother was a witch...she was burned alive
Thankless little bitch, for the tears I cried
Take her down now, don't wanna see her face.
All blistered and burnt, can't hide my disgrace.
Am I evil? Yes. I am.

Voltaire.

Linda S. comes back... now Jack...

_________________

Jack, how is degenerate dave doing?

_________________
Hawaii (fuck) You

No. Yes. Yes.

_________________
You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Dear Johnathan,

Let's say you've just received a life-threatening dosage of arsenic from eating some bad McNuggets you purchased with food stamps. The only antidote is to suck off two board members consecutively. Who would you choose and why?