A guy I know from Chicago Heights had a police dog set loose on him so he killed it with his bare hands. The cops acted like he had just killed one of them. In fact, I believe the call went out as "officer down".

One of my first jobs was at a canning factory. To can corn, Matt Abbatacola, there are knife machines that cut the kernels off the corn. They sit about 4 feet off the ground on a metal floor that allows the discarded material to sluice through to the ground underneath where there was a drain channel to take it away.

My job was to crouch down underneath the floor with a hose to spray all the material into the drain. This is while all the sticky corn materials rain down on you all shift. For $3.35/hour which was minimum wage at the time. A summer of 6 night/72-hour weeks paid for 2 classes at UofI...and some buckets of Natural Light.

Good times.

... I can regale you of tales of measuring peas for hardness and determining the size of freezer peas while being showered in pea soap in the pea pit.

You know, you could just dispense with all the pretense and just say you sprayed down the nudie-booths at the adult video shop near campus ...

Im pretty hammered right now.

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

In high school I worked at a frozen custard stand and our whole "uniform" was pink and teal - hats, shirts, aprons - it matched the pink and teal leather furniture in the store.

I just either won or lost this thread.

Yes it is.

When this is all over, which is not going to be for a while, Trump will be re-elected President.

If you hate Laurence, then don't listen - don't comment. When he co-hosts the B&B show, take that day off ... listen to an old podcast of a Bernstein solo show and jerk off all day.

My former role as auto detailer included bouts with vomited scrambled eggs down the dashboard vents, baby kittens born in the radiator fan shroud, minnow bucket tipped over from the back seat a couple of weeks ago, 5 gallons of anchovy sauce in the hatchback, and the trapped dog in the cab of the pickup.

It's not on the level of "Tales from food factories" but when I was a lab TA in college I finished teaching the introduction to the programming lab project and then watched people start. Within the first 5 minutes, one of the girls in the class started crying and told me she can't do it. It actually is a pretty terrible position to be in because you aren't supposed to help them too much because the point is to learn themselves but I doubt we are supposed to let them cry for an hour then go home(I save that for the bedroom). I was able to calm her down and help her out and get her started. She ended up doing the rest of it herself and survived the semester.