OK let's try this again cuz my phone had autocorrect going on and there's nothing quite like having your phone know better than you do.
Obviously there was a proper turnout for this, as I finally got to meet the woman, the myth, the legend that is spaulding (and i presume my ceremonial hug =/= being able to have an account on TOB) alongside many of the luminaries i've already met, such as dolphin, WZ, KI, cookie, the man who perpetually warrants the phrase "respect for a well dressed man" aka nas, biggie, and of course the mcnuggets eaters.
the mysterious lady was some sort of relatively too fine for us, as she was about 5'3" with a proper d-cup rack (tho i reckon it'd be improper if they were implants?) and from what i can gather she got up into the 30-40 range b4 she ran off to the bathroom presumably to hork, our waitress, chesty morgan (it was purportedly her first night there, so she was extra !!!!! with the kind of service style usually equated with hooters waitresses) tried to get her water but she was too committed to the pisser/shitter. i went out to smoke, but by the time i came back it was over with.
Hank won with a lame total of 54 nuggets..... i think he only got $50 for his troubles as he didn't even approach the 80 mark. iwatching the contest i realize i could have easily won this (indeed, you are reading a post by clearmont school's 4th/5th grade number munchers champion, as the repeat was only possible since i was so damn good they put me with 5th graders in 4th grade) and given that when i showed up eaglo jeff turned the camera on me for ~30sec, yeah, i reckon i prolly did right by not getting formally involved.
after they were done with their lame-ass total of 54 nuggets max, nas quipped that i should try and eat 55 right there. if someone woulda offered me the other $50 it would have been no problem, but lamentably that wasn't the case. out of 20 mcnuggets on the table i must have causally done 15 whilst doing the rounds, and when chesty morgan brought back another 10 i was good for no less than 4 of those. quoteth the immortal words of shao khan; "all too easy"
speaking of chesty morgan, board legend W_Z was all over that beeeyotch. as i said she had the temperament of a hooters waitress, so she was extra flirty and doing a bunch of shots with us (she seemed to like me as she kept on giving me drinks saying that it's on biggie's tab, but not really, despite the fact i had $25 in hand quite ready to pay my own way)
after the contest most everyone GTFO, leaving me, JORR, furious styles W_Z, and JORR's work partner to be hanging out. chesty morgan liked us and, being real here, prolly wanted to have a crack at W_Z so she was keen on inviting us to another bar that, honestly, nobody could remember. i was outside when she and her protector/friend/sister/whatever were heading out and she tried telling me the bar to go to, however the other chick was like 'come back monday' at which point i realized that outside forces had labeled her too drunk to communicate with us ne'er-do-wells (she must read the board and see what don tiny thinks of everyone that isn't don tiny, as we're all below him and hopelessly shitheadded asshole garbage posters) and believe you me, as a 6'4"/260 guy for most of his life i know hte brush off and we got one.... c'est la vie. but props to chesty morgan who was purportedly having her first night on the job and seemingly going out of her way to hook us up with free rounds of drinks saying things like 'i dont give a fuck' even tho she was crazy like a fox cuz she got her tips.
after that, as we were going to head out i brought a bunch of glasses from our tables to the bar and started chatting up a brunette chick who was pretty easily the hottest chick @ the bar. to my total surprise she seemed to dig candor wit and perspective and after a few minutes of talking ended up popping the stool next to me to hand me her iphone, which i did.... and i got her # and hit her off, so even tho i'm kind of a real nowhere man living in my nowhere land making all my nowhere plans for nobody, man, just the fact that chick that fine was willing to instigate the move to swap #s was !!!! for me, and the fact that she was the finest chick in the bar (even in a realm of chesty mogans) = !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 so by that time the honourable JORR had offered to give me a ride back (cuz i was aiming for the 1045 metra home, but by 10:20 i was like 'oh shit' cuz even if i got to union they'd charge me double or triple or whatever the 'you didnt go support the hourly salaries of our ticket vendors' penalty is) so thx2JORR i headed out with him, his work buddy, and furious styles.
go figure that this was a rare night for your antihero and protagonist. somehow someway i ended up macking another chick on the street and we got to talking, which was kind of offset by JORR coming up and saying "trust me ma'am, this guy's a genius and seriously, if you give him a chance you'll be pleasantly surprised cuz he's about as brilliant as they come" (srsly thx JORR for the kind words) and well, she wasnt as keen as giving me her # as the finest chick in the bar, so we exchanged e-mails, amd of cours ewhen you're with 3 other dudes who wanna go you dont wanna play the P-card and get into all that, not to mention it felt odd to have someone properly wingmanning it up for me, so after we exchanged e-mails i looked up and saw that JORR FS and JORR's friend were gone. i shouted their names to no avail, i rounded the corner and some guy faked being a cop or authority figure of some sort and demanded i stop walking and talk to him, at which point he asked what i was doing, i explained, and he had nothing. total troll.... urgh. so get back to van buren and there's no sign of them so at this point it's like "fuck, i'm out $40-50 for the cab ride +tip,and btw you have to put it out there that you're a good tipper or they might tell yo uthings like there's a late night gas tax that menas whatever's on the meter costs 1.5x what it says cuz he had to leave the city, which is hte cabbie's way of saying 'fuck you, i know you're not gonna tip me so i'm going to demand a tip through supposed costs'
so i pop a cab and tell him where to go, and when rounding the corner of van buren / la salle who do i see but the three muskateers so i tell teh cabbie to stop it and give him a $5 for his troubles, and i get back with my group..... we headed out and i kept on offering JORR gas/food/etc but he kept turning it down (tho his work buddy must have got ~7-8 cigarettes out of me total in that time, cuz i was rolling up my rolls b4 getting a pack of cigarettes later, giving him 4.... so iw as a bit hrmmm? when he asked for 2 more upon dropoff and i felt like a mulva for giving him one ah well no hard feelings, c'est la vie.
once again thanks to the man, the myth, the legend JORR for stepping up and insisting on buying me drinks and giving me rides... cuz i come out with plenty of $$$ to cover myself and other people, but it's a testament ot the kind of people on the CSFMB that more often than not i come across a wonderful dude like JORR who 'takes care of' a guy lke me with all this stuff and generosity.... as always i'm eternally grateful and will always have your back for a ticket/round/evening when i have the chance.
so yeah i sent up some pictures b4 and that's pretty much it.... allow me to reiterate that Nas is not in those cuz of his decision..and ummmmm yeah. great night out, thanks for having me, hopefully my pictures/tales tell the story.... and somehow, some way, the big 6'4" homoputzoafus in the arsenal/ozil jersey managed to cop the phone # of the hottest chick in the bar, again, despite her friend trying to get her away from me. indeed, a chick that fine (the chest of chesty morgan + DAT FACE + style > chesty morgan = !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) could easily do waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy better than me, that is, unless she wants to fall in love with the purported-human/likely-machine that could introduce her to my close friend and business associate, God. but yeah she was the one putting the moves on me, which must have been !!!! to her cuz a chick that fine usually gets hit on by everyone... and honestly with a chick like her i mean i'm 6'4"/275 or something rght now so i'm a pudgeball and i got itty bitty little titty committees going on on congress to help figure out obamacare, and like....yeah odds are nothing will come of it, but still, leaving a bar knowing that the finest chick you saw all tonight wanted to have further contact with you, drunken or otherwsie? it's a start. and i dig it.
anyways it's 3:20am and i gotta get to bed cuz THE MIGHTY ARSENAL has a red hot date with the scousers tomorrow (hence why i went with the ozil kit, outside of color coordination.... b4 noticing that my red miami/6/james jerseyshirt has a little snaghole in it, right above the belly) and well, yeah.... the bears are fucked barring a miracle (i was @ the 2010 game @ soldier field where the pack had ~18 penalties/thank-you-jesus-moments and the bears somehow won late..... which means hte defense has to not only stop aa-rod more htan like 1nce a whole game (cuz they didnt have to punt in the vikes game. think about that for a second; every drive led to a score, and this is without cobb/james-jones) and ummmmmmmmmmm yeah idk, man, i hope that superfiine chick wasn't just totally drunk, which means i now gotta enter the world of overthought that comes with outkicking your coverage and trying to figur eout hwo to turn yourself from a a "seems like a good drunken idea to give this brilliant pidgeball a phone #" zone into the "oh hey what the fuck this guy's tall and his feet are big so who knows?"
cuz if she goes there..... ha. i just might have to lose my virginity
anyways, yeah, great night out.... thanks, as always, to biggie for setting it up and getting the job done.... and thanks to everyone there, especially the venerable qt3.14 spauldo whose hug early on seemed to hearken the future for me....cuz i can get used to a life with fine ladies requesting hugs/phone#s/post-shift-appearances-at-otehr-bars-b4-her-friend-decides-shes-too-drunk-and-tells-me-to-come-back-monday.
lamentably, pointing out that you've only fucked one chick in your life, a brilliant ~3wks-after-turning-18 year old genius who makes me look like a simpleton in terms of writing, who just happened to be 6' 34DD and into things like, say, fucking 4 times b4 lunch on the average day...... well that doesnt have the mileage you think it would, namely cuz i am that naive/virginlike in the big picture.... but i've been trained by the pest to provide countless orgasms free of charge, alls it takes is some drop dead 9/+ (cuz i aint fucking around here. heifers = that ol 7up policy: never have, never will) and yeah, why am i mentioning this? cuz i'm fucking proud of myself, even tho there's a 99% chance i dont nail either one of htese chicks (at least halfly because i dont try to aimlessly nail chicks for the sake of ejaculation) and well, i need all the confidence builders i can get.
i mean, i do have to become the greatest white rapper of all time someday..... it mdiaswell be soon, eh?
so yeah so long everyone and thanks ofr all the fish. if there's another mcnuggets competition i mgiht not puss out and smash evetyone where they stand, cuz i could have easily won tonight... but man, that brunette chick who wanted ot swap #s? dude i'd never eat another mcnugget again if i could have any sort of sustained yahatime with her
merci.... peace and love! peace and love!
# ringo
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