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THE PREGAME
At about 3 PM, I took the El downtown from Wrigleyville. On way down check my PM’s and see Favre Fan not making! So the cry goes out for a 3rd contestant. We will see what happens!
Figured I needed to leave the yellow limo at home and mingle among the people on the train (Not making that mistake again anytime soon!)
As I got off the train, I stopped in to the MACD’s at Adams and Wells and asked ‘Do you have 250 McNuggets?”…she laughed, did some recon and said YES. Told her I would be back in 2 hours.
Arrive around at 4 to Oneils, got DB, Spaulding, JORR reserving table, time to get situated.
Introduce myself to the manager Frank, he says “You really listen to these guys? (BB)…they are just assholes!”. I told him he just fell right into their demographics!
I meet our lovely, intelligent, gifted and talented waitress for the evening, Cheryl. For her first night she did a great job, considering every other guy in the place ready to take her away to Las Vegas for a night!
A terrible slice of Pizza and 4 Coronas later, Donsipracy’s significant other approaches me and tells me there are logistic issues and he is going to be late. Estimates a 7:30 time, but claims she has a stand in! I walk over to the table to find the slightly buzzed, cute, petite, maybe naïve Erin.
I am very impressed with her initiative to take on such an event! I explain it in detail and she says “Lets do it!”. Then she adds “I am a vegetarian!”. I explain to her that’s OK because there isn’t really meat in McNuggets.
I walk over to Hank Scorpio for a 1 on 1 meeting and tell him Donspiracy is going to be late, arrive around 7:30. So it is his call as to when to start or wait. He says he is OK with it, so we will be waiting for Donspiracy and it looks like we are going to have 3!
THE CONTEST
As WZ and I walked over to McD’s to order the Nuggs at 7 PM, I picked up a ceremonial burger. The Burger obviously was a 4 PM leftover and is now on Wells Street still! This way WZ has the receipt and at 7:30 him and Kirkwood, made a run to pick them up.
At the GAME TABLE, we set up Donsipracy, Erin and Hank. I start to take out the Nuggs and we are 100 Nuggs short! CODE RED! CODE RED!
WZ saves the day with a sprint back to McD’s for the other 100 ! yet we start the contest as I know the effort will take more than anticipated to get to that level.
Everyone has an ice water and a water, plus more sauces than anyone will ever need.
3,2,1…Go! 7:40 PM.
Erin, goes right into the Ranch dip which I thought was a huge mistake! But she goes into the sprint! And takes the lead with the first 10 done in 3 Minutes!
Donspiracy, not far behind, then Hank bringing up the rear!
Erin finishes 30 first! As I said, Impressive! The sleeper could be pulling off the upset.
Hank giving you the “This is the stupidest thing I have ever done” (I knew it was just a matter of time for him then)
Donspiracy still pacing himself.
Erin hits the 40 mark first! Donspiracy right behind and Hank is falling back, still in his early thirties!
THEN, Donsipracy and Hank see a FOUL! Erin has dumped 5 Nuggs on the ground! As a penalty they are now gathered from the ground and placed back in her pile. She then grabs a “Grounder Nugg” dips it in the ranch and a very visible long hair, with “gouk” on it is hanging. I rip the hair of the Nugg and she eats it! (best part about this is that she probably wont remember that until now and has grossed out at herself!)
Erin, leading the pack now is not looking so cute! She looks like she is going for the “Reversal”. Her friends pulls the garbage can up for her at the 45 mark and she makes the run for bathroom! The LEADER is done! NO MAS ! NO MAS! FINITO! At the 20 Minute mark, she is officially out!
Don sees the leader spot and grabs it with a solid powering through the 40 box and Hank, while lumbering is still coming on.
Hank is now doing the Foldover technique and dunking in water. Nas is trying to motivate him with actually eating a McNugget himself. SACRIFICE!
At this point, I am sure neither of these guys are going to do 80! But I am good soul, so, I say $50 for whoever eats the most! And no “Chopping the pot”
Donspiracy is at 54 and Hank is about to eat 50. Donspiracy now realizes he doesn’t have to eat anymore, until Hank sees 53 and that looks like it is going to be tough. Don has the leverage and Hank Knows it! Hank puts the 50th in his mouth and takes a solid 5 minutes to eat it.
He sees the next box of 10, contemplates it and says “ITS OVER, ITS ALL OVER!” he cant fathom another bite and Donpsiracy takes the queens crown.
The Kings crown is now reserved for my guy STU who in my office ate 80 in 16 minutes! The early birds got treated to the video of it from a few weeks ago.
Next food challenge is in the works. Don’t say you can do it, if you cant do it!
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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”
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