This guy is a fucking hero. People take too fucking long in every fucking line. Get your shit together or this fucking guy is coming for you




​Woman Allegedly Assaulted for Taking Too Long at Redbox Kiosk


Taking too long to choose a movie at a Redbox? Thatz not okay.

But chest-bumping a woman and then pinning her up against a Redbox machine for taking too long to choose a movie? Also not okay.

According to ABC News, an unknown "bloated" man in his 40's or 50's was accused of assaulting a 26-year-old woman Saturday night at a Redbox kiosk in a Massachusetts Stop & Shop. The woman was "taking a long time," according to the Sgt. Denis Sheehan of the East Longmeadow Police Department. "There were a number of people in line waiting to rent a movie," Sheehan told ABC News.

At some point, a "heated argument broke out" and "there were some words exchanged and the suspect allegedly chest-bumped her." Sheehan also said the victim told him that the movie-loving man "used his forearm to press her upper chest and throat areas, and that he also pinned her up against the Redbox machine."

Images of the suspect were captured from the store surveillance camera and within 90 minutes of releasing the images to the local media, police received a call from someone who knew the suspect. The suspect, who could be facing assault and battery charges, has not been formally charged or arraigned.

This reminds me of the Assyrian crew at Lucky Magee's. They like to park in front of the Automated Tellers and stare at the payoffs on a TV as they slowly make their bets. The place is usually empty at night so it normally isn't much of a problem, but once in awhile it's a little crowded and I'm trying to get a bet in and these guys are punching their numbers like their arms barely work. One day I asked one of these douchebags if he was betting or watching TV and he told me to go fuck myself. I told him to get the fuck out of the way or I was going to hit him in the head. The place went up for grabs. The manager came over. Luckily, I have a good reputation in there and the Assyrians are always bothering people. Cooler heads prevailed. But I had made my point. The next time I went to the machine, one of that dopes buddies quickly got out of my way.

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Ecclesiastes 5:8

CVS lines are what hell is like


Ive never seen anyone have a clean transaction at CVS.

I threw an elbow into a guy's ribs the other day at a 7-Eleven when he bought two scratch-offs and proceeded to set them down on the counter and start scratching while I was standing there like a dope with two 12-packs of pop.

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Savages!


Seriously, society is crumbling

Yep. I have to say it was very gratifying at a different 7-Eleven when a goof in front of me had a huge sheet of numbers for Lotto or Powerball or some shit and he wanted to call them out to the clerk. The Indian behind the counter said, "Oh no! You must fill out the cards!" The guy pouted and skulked out without buying his tickets. The Indian looked at me and said, "These Lotto people are crazy."

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Ecclesiastes 5:8

Idiot customers are only half the battle though.

The dumb fuck cashier's who will literally finish personal converations with the other cow they work with before ringing up the customer

Oh yeah, and then there's the Hot Doug business model. I'm just trying to order lunch and this guy is going on and on to his sycophant in front of me about Howard Devoto and the relative merits of Magazine and Luxuria.

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Ecclesiastes 5:8

Love me some JORR on the muscle stories

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

If Larsa ever shows up at Magee's she can take all the time in front of me she wants.

Unfortunately, the Assyrians I'm talking about look like this:

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Ecclesiastes 5:8

For as bad as being inside a 7-11 is, being right outside of it even to walk to your car is significantly worse. I'll drive 2 minutes further to the closest grocery store just to avoid whatever scam the people in the parking lot are trying to get away with.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

I stopped going to my local Formerly White Hen because the guy there literally wont give you your change or items til he finishes his story

One time he actually made me feel bad. I was halfway out the door and he said "hold on, just let me finish this one"

does it still have the same general logo shape ?

but it seems to be more common place now that stores are 'encouraging ' employees to make chit-chat, ala trader joes
now this cashier at the walgreens around the corner from my work does it, and as you and others have mentioned its annoying as fuck when you're waiting. if no one is in line fine talk for hours if you want but you shouldn't be making small talk with a customer at the expense of others waiting . i'm not sure why the stores would want that

There's this crazy old guy who lives in the unit two down from me. Every time I leave my house he's out in the fucking hallway. It's become a joke between my wife and me. I don't know if he listens and waits for someone to come down the hall and then steps outside or what. He walks with a cane and he's quiet until someone comes and then he starts moaning like a wounded animal. He's a big Cubs fan and he likes to get into conversations that will never end unless I end them. I used to feel bad and engage him, but after several years I just find him annoying. Plus, I've discovered he's one of these guys who can't really get hurt feelings. So now I usually just keep walking and mutter a few things at him.

A couple weeks ago before I knew I had chickenpox I was feeling like shit and running a fever and this goof comes up to me in the hall and says, "We lost another one." I was like, "What???" He says, "714. He's dead." I mustered an "Oh, that's too bad" and kept walking. Then I said, "How old was he?" And this idiot says, "I don't know. I didn't know him." I felt so shitty and I just blew and said, "Why do you care then?" and went into my apartment. When I next saw the guy he said to me, "I found out about 714. He was 95 and he lived here for 33 years. Almost as long as me."

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Ecclesiastes 5:8

Lucky I'm so scrawny or I'd always be getting myself in scrapes. I called the garbage man who violated my pedestrians rights an "asshole" this morning. Truck is so loud, probably couldn't hear me though. One time I called the Gonella Bread Company to complain about one of their drivers. I got through to the truck manager and he chuckled when he figured out which driver it was.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

kinda blurry in the pic, but looks like the love child of jim belushi and donspiracy

Why does Redbox even exist anymore?

Buy a Roku, ya savages.

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people still mourning the loss of blockbuster

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

I thought it was Chairman Mao.

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

I think Laurence got the password for JORR's account this morning.

For fat,bloated middle aged guys everywhere: STAY THE FUCK OUT OF OUR WAY!

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

I'm a lover not a figher, Tad. But come on. I expect a basic minimum of human courtesy. You see me standing there with my arms full of pop cases, don't fucking put your elbows down and start scratching your lottery tickets on the counter. That doesn't even merit an "excuse me". I'm just going to move you out of the way. Unless you absolutely look like you could smash my face.

As for the OTB stuff, these machines have created a real lack of courtesy among bettors. I'm sure Hawkeye Vince can confirm this. When we were kids at Sportsman's and Maywood, the lines on a weekend might get twenty deep. You better learn to call 'em out quick or there would be a bunch of maniacs behind you screaming to hurry the fuck up. That's the cauldron my betting manners and courtesy was forged in. I simply expect the same from others.

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I spent more time at Balmoral before I was old enough to bet so my Grandfather ended up going to the window. By the time I turned 18 and started betting myself I only used the machines. I have always heeded my grandfather's advice though...'If you arent sure of what you are doing, dont get in the fucking line.' He was probably one of the maniacs you mention screaming to hurry up.

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The worst is when a guy gets up to the front and puts his elbows down, sticks his ass out, and starts handicapping a race right in the window. A good mutuel clerk will move him along, but most of these goofs don't give a shit. When that would happen on a Saturday night at Sportsman's, guys would just start screaming, "WE'VE GOT A FUCKIN' LEANER!!!!" If that didn't embarrass the guy to get moving, well, he was just too ignorant to live.

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Ecclesiastes 5:8

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Dang oldies need a good beat-down every now and then.

And one more thing. If it's some guy in his early twenties who has obviously never made a bet before and is confused, I'm not going to stand behind him sighing loudly or yell at the kid. In fact, I'll try to help him. We all were beginners one time and God knows this business doesn't need to chase potential fans away. But when you're in an OTB everyday from open to close, I expect you should be able to punch in a trifecta without starting over six fucking times.

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Ecclesiastes 5:8