I'll paraphrase what Mac just said.

Mac: So I take Bernstein to a strip club in the late 90s and it turned into a god damn sociological experiment for him. He sits there taking notes, observing everybody with an intense look, asking me "what type of people would tuck a buck into a women's ass".

Why does Bernstein hate single-mothers trying to raise their daughters to stay off the pole.

For the record, I wouldn't put a dollar in a stripper's ass either. Mac is exaggerating that part. Strippers don't want dollars in their ass. It's either upper thigh or they'll grab it with their breasts.

On a side not, Mac also said he took Mike Greenberg to a strip club. Said Greeny had the time of his life.

He should have replied "heterosexual men unfettered by damaging levels of self awareness."

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

No, they don't!

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

He told that one on MJH years ago in the context of Greenberg's metrosexual character on Mike and Mike being an act.

Anyway, they apparently washed the strippers with soap at this place? Sounds pretty weird. Call me old fashioned, but Ill just take a plain ol lapdance

Wonder if Bernstein actually got a lap dance. Doubt it. But if he did, it probably went like this.

Bernstein: So how does this work?

Stripper: You sit. I grind.

Bernstein: With your ass?

Stripper: Yeah.

Bernstein: No way it could be clean. The likelihood of your ass being clean right now is not very high. The probability of me getting a deseise from your dirty ass is very high. Risk to reward. I've reconsidered. I no longer want a lap dance.

Stripper: You still owe me $20.

Bernstein: Talk to my lawyer.

Stripper: Slaps Bernstein in the face

Bouncer: Throws Bernstein out.

Mac: Fuck. Time to go, I guess. Fuckin' Bernstein. Sucks the fun out of everything.

Dan B: What socioeconomic forces have lead you to this profession.

Stripper: I simply wish to fully monetize my assets.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Perhaps BeerStain prefers BIG. BOY. STRIPCLUBS.

Mac: (Returns from his lap dance) Here you go honey, little something extra for you. That was great.

Bernstein: You're tipping her? For doing her job. It's a set rate. Why would you tip? As for you, Destiny, how does riding Da Ma Na get you closer to any sort of life achievement?

Destiny: What?

Mac: Hey, Destiny, he's all right. Sometimes he just says odd shit.

Destiny: (Picks up Dan's drink and throws it in his face.)

Mac: Atta girl, here's another $20.

Bernstein: Look at that girl, Mac. Climbing the pole upside down. That's risky for management to have them do that.

Mac: What?

Bernstein: I'm just saying it's a huge liability if they fall or if the pole breaks. Wonder if they have the girls sign a waiver? Not to mention the filth factor. A lot of different asses ride that pole.

Mac: I don't know, Dan. I don't know. Waitress!!!!! Another red wine for this son of a bitch. Like last time, pour it here. He wants to clean the glass himself with his sanitizer wipes. Once again, sorry about that. Double vodka for me this time, please.

drop 150 mg of molly intp Bernstein's red wine and watch the blinders fall off.

I don't know what you mean.

puts a doily down on his seat before sitting like Felix Ungar

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Mac: Alright, Dan, you've had 4 red wines. You loosened up now? See that black girl over there. Heard she gives the best dances. I'll pay.

Bernstein: I'm not dancing with her. She looks like a thug!!!!

Mac: This is 1998. A decade from now they'll view that word as racially charged. As the substitute for the N-word.

Bernstein: (Slurring words) When that happens I'll just say I don't want to dance with that N****R

Mac:

Berntein: Please don't tell anybody I said that, Mac.

Mac: Secret is safe with me, Danny boy. Waitress, another red wine please. I'm rather enjoying seeing the true Bernstein come out. So Danny, what do you think of that Mexican dancer?

Actually not a fan of the strip club in general. I dont hate it, but especially when a place is packed, it just gets weird when you are sitting inches from some stranger and he is watching you get rubbed on by some stripper.

Now, if you dont have anywhere to watch the NCAA games in vegas and you find an empty strip joint in vegas during the day that will show the games and then other things can happen, is a great way to spend a day in Vegas!

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Bernstein just finishes his 10th glass of red wine...

Bernstein: ...so that's why I think Christians should be eliminated from the earth. We need a Jewish Hitler.

Mac: Alright, Bernstein. Think it's time to go.

Bernstein: Wait, I'll take you up on dancing with that N****R girl.

Mac: No. We're leaving, Danny Boy.

Bernstein: Ok. Promise you won't repeat all the things I said tonight?

Mac:

I'd rather go to a strip club with my mother than with Bernstein.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Bernstein and sex.

Makes me think of that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where they talk about Hasidics having sex through holes in sheets.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

I can't imagine sex with Bernstein being much fun either.

_________________
"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

i agree completely. only been to a few strip clubs in my life, so my experience is little, but the best one was out in the middle of nowhere around 1am when almost nobody was there. we were at a concert that day and saw it on the way back. "fuck it" we said! "lets go!". there were like 10 girls but only maybe 3 were hot. well the one that sat in my lap all night wasnt i guess... i dont know i thought she was but my buddy said the next day she was average. i just kept buying her drinks. we told them we were from one of the bands at the concert. we almost got two girls to go back to our campsite, but it got weird when we told them where to go. not exactly inviting when two strangers ask strippers to go into the woods to fuck i guess, i dont know. i was totally trashed, all i remember was blowing $180 in about an hour and telling my girl "im broke". she was sad and didnt leave my lap but it wasnt like there was anyone else there anyway. we finally close the place down and ended up at the campsite without any women. then this teenage kid came over to our fire and asked for a beer. we told him all he had to do was give us weed. to our surprise, he said "um, ok" and left. 5 minutes later he put bud in our hands! he said he stole it from his parents and hes never done the stuff before. we all got stoned and passed out. pretty lame ending but when me and my buddy tell the story we just end it with fuckin the shit out of the girls all night long.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I wasn't really paying attention yesterday, but Dan was recalling a time in Florida at a Super Bowl where he and Terry went to a strip club. He mentioned that John Jackson, the Sun Times writer was there.
That is a definite major, flagrant man card rules violation. I hope nobody asked Mrs. John Jackson about it.

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Host of the weekly "We Fish ASA" podcast
Weekly columnist for the Northwest Herald
Bi-monthly columnist for Illinois Outdoor News magazine
Former host of The Outdoors Experience on WIND and The Great Outdoors on CLTV
http://www.wefishasa.com

I'm with you. I get it, but I don't really get it.

Best times I ever had at a strip club is when I went with female(s). I don't get dropping a ton of $$ to hang out with a bunch of dudes and watch other people get their hopes up about a girl that already has a girlfriend.

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Never been. I've been with my wife since I was 19. I used to frequent some places in KC where the strippers would come for lunch. I always felt sorry for them. I dunno, maybe they didn't want to be felt sorry for!

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

They can be fun in some situations. Drunk and coming off a good night at a casino is appropriate because its like you are playing with house money. Bachelor parties are better with talent that travels to you rather than the opposite.

I would probably feel differently if I were single. Why not under those conditions?

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

They are just too expensive to go that often. With the right group of people it can be fun once in a while.

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right, and everyone has to be in the same "big night" mind set...one person pissing in the punch bowl can ruin it

I also hate going after a guy's night out type of meal, for obvious reasons

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Blumkin too expensive?

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You know me like that.

Your palette is already set to "sausage"?

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