Lets set the stage here. Les gets done with a caller talking about Walter Payton and since Les tells a great story and has a superb memory, he counters with a story about seeing Payton run for 235 yds in a 1995 mhIatchup with the LA Raiders. As he is droning on and on about the beautiful screen pass that Kramer threw to Payton, he realizes that he has to shit. Knowing that the people want, nay, DEMAND to hear the story through to the end, he drops his pants and tries to shit in one of those little blue recycling bins. After recounting how delicious the press box food was at the Coliseum, he got a little over zealous and pushed too aggressively. The turd hits the edge of the bin and half goes in and half falls on the seat. He looks only in the bin and thinks all is well until he sits down and realizes he just mashed the turd into the upholstery of the chair. He says fuck it and figures that he can say it was a melted Snickers bar if anyone asks.

The prosecution rests.

Management needs to get involved- its the microwave situation all over again.

The best "losing your shit" story I heard was from my uncle. He studied business and Japanese language in college, so when he graduated he got a job working for an American firm over in Japan. During a formal social engagement at a client's residence, he suddenly feels the urge so he excuses himself. When he enters the bathroom, however, he finds some kind of futuristic space toilet that has no obvious flushing mechanism. This leaves him in a bind because it would be rude to leave a turd for someone else, and if my uncle had made an inquiry the host would have been deeply embarrassed that he had put his guest in such an awkward predicament. So, he leaves the party and takes public transportation back to his rented 3rd story apartment. Half way up the second flight of stairs it happens . He was able to shower, throw on a non-defiled suit, and return to the party, however.