sit this one out, champ

"You do realize..."

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Several of these (amazeballs, awesomesauce, etc.) sound like something one of the worst characters on television, April Ludgate from Parks and Recreation, would say.

Young Joey Votto
ceiling
fast track
hot hatch

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Rick Hahn is the best GM in baseball.

#[insert failed witty remark here]

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Successful calls:

Kyrie Irving will never win anything as a team's alpha: check
T.rubisky is a bust: check
Ben Simmons is a liability: check
The Fields Cult is dumb: double check

2013 CSFMB ROY

THIS!!! Fucking this!!!

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"I'm not smiling because I thought what you said was humorous. I'm smiling because one day I know you'll be dead..."

True story

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"I'm not smiling because I thought what you said was humorous. I'm smiling because one day I know you'll be dead..."

I used to hate "it is what it is", but I find it useful as a benign way to tell neurotic assholes to calm the fuck down and live with it.

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No offense..... even though i'm about to say something really stupid and I expect it ok as i prefaced. Fuck you.

House-made or scratch-made.
Just say home-made, Guy Fieri, you goofy troll doll.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

That awkward moment when.....

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

You guys are tough to have a conversation with.

I'll no longer be able to speak so freely at events.

Darkside and Don Tiny will love it!

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Rick Hahn is the best GM in baseball.

Oh, god yes.

Edit: I'll add "tummy."

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You can't see me because of internet.

The landowner effectively owns part shares in millions of part-time slaves called, "taxpayers." -Roy L
A Personal Relationship with Jesus?

Unless you are talking to a kid who is 8 or younger, then yes I agree with both of those.

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The same people at work who thought the humpday camel shirts were a good idea decided to make their version of "Keep Calm and..." shirts:

Keep Calm It Is What It Is

What the actual fuck?!?! Never mind you chose a tired cliche for a shirt, but you fucked up what is a pretty easy tagline by omitting the 'and'...

No, it's not acceptable to use with children either. I don't get why it's a thing to use retarded words with children. I also oppose "mommy." Particularly when a mother refers to herself as "mommy" in third person. Unacceptable.

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You can't see me because of internet.

The landowner effectively owns part shares in millions of part-time slaves called, "taxpayers." -Roy L
A Personal Relationship with Jesus?

Ginormous.


(Holy fuck, my spell-checker didn't flag that.)

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You can't see me because of internet.

The landowner effectively owns part shares in millions of part-time slaves called, "taxpayers." -Roy L
A Personal Relationship with Jesus?

I'm loving the fact that I use almost half of these phrases on a semi-regular basis.

Hubby
My girls (used by women to refer to their breasts)
Can I be honest with you? (You weren't before you lying prick?)
Lawyer up
Man up
Hold the phone

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

"You talk about . . ."

On Facebook, but I phrase I see all the time.

What happens next will amaze you!

What happens next is I don't click on your stupid link.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

Wait, pause.

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No pun intended

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

"Baby McNown wrote: __"

_________________
Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way