Via Bleacher Nation:

What. The. Fuck.

http://www.bleachernation.com/2014/05/31/chicago-cubs-president-of-business-operations-crane-kenney-extended-through-2019/

this is a glorious day for full-kit wankers everywhere! crane is basically their spiritual leader, as even moreso than the most average/casual joe 6 pack crane needed to establish that full uniform (because only lames don't have the pants) in order to feel like he's part of the team.

speaking of "part of the team" --- am i the only one who's noticed that good ol beerSTINE aka beerSTAIN has laid off the muscle on crane kenney lately? maybe over the last year or two.... why it's almost as if somebody contacted him or mitch and said "enough of that bullshit" and "the voice of the fans" was more than happy to oblige, because, you know, us fans are all about kissing the ass of REALLY. SMART. GOOD. MONIED. PEOPLE. who have their season tickets in the lower dish of the united center, as they're all successful doctors lawyers and other white collar laborers who could be potential sponsors someday.

bet you someone over @ the cubs threatened to withhold guests and things from der schnorr and all of a sudden POOF! crane kenney is a malignant tumor on the cubs that just miraculously disappeared out of beerSTAIN's crosshairs. but hey, he has kids to feed, and those kids have a world to save from our vast expanse of ignorance that only sports doogie howser over there can save.

_________________

He just mentioned it on air. Not a fun thing to hear as I'm half awake on the one day I get to sleep in.

He is a numbskull based on what information? Because of that priest/dugout thing? what else has he done?

_________________
favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

My vitriol levels are very high these days, even without a Low T shot! My patience levels are about empty, but still on track,

When it blows, LOOK OUT!

_________________
"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Wow....bernsie's whipping boy isn't going anywhere.

Reaaly.dumb.people?

Let's compare for 1 second John McDonough vs. Crane Kenney:

nuf said!

didn't bernstein come around on crane kenney being a REALLY. SMART. PERSON. WHO. IS. GREAT. AT. HIS. JOB. (....whatever it is?) ??? i can swear that he did, because i forget what exactly crane's formal function within the cubs is, but whatever he does (high level yes-manning/ass-licking?) is deemed to be important enough to continue the continuity between ownership groups.... and well, i think back before the call was made to tell bernstein to heel re: crane there was at least a tacit admission by b&b that this guy is evidently the goods in terms of high-level/board-room ALS culture and therefore you have to give the guy credit for being clever enough to make himself indispensable for not just one, but two different ownership regimes, which is even more amazing when you cosnider that one (tribune) was sheer and utter 100% corporate culture, and the other is more of a "family" operation (cuz hey, it wasn't like the trib dressed up some jamoche as col mccormick and paraded him around the concourse to get a feel for the pulse of the cubs fans..... and lord knows those creepy rickettses will eventually send one of the lesser siblings around the concourse to assuage cubs fans into thinking that "one of them" owns the team nowadays)

ah well... good job crane, and if/when you read this can you tell the cubs production people to get back on the ball and to ready the fluff piece for the opening day 2015 broadcast where they show the creepy ricketts clan doing their q&a at the cubs convention interspliced with shots of them walking around the concourse talking to real/living/breathing cubs fans as if the thoughts of the average cubs fan are the most important bit of marketing research known to mankind?

it didn't feel like opening day without the obligatory "YOUR OWNERS LOVE YOU AND OCCASIONALLY GET THEIR INOCULATIONS AND LIFETIME SUPPLY OF PURELL SO THEY CAN WALK AMONGST YOU, THE GREAT UNWASHED, BECAUSE THEY CARE ABOUT WHAT *YOU* THINK WHEN YOU COME TO A BALLGAME" puff segment..... and i want next year to prove that this year was a flukey mistake, otherwise i might let the success get to my head and proclaim "i bet you some of those guys read one of my posts here (the great expanse of free marketing/demographic research that is score670.com) and decided that i was right and they didn't need to do the annual "LOOK! THERE ARE RICKETTSES AMONGST YOU!!!!" piece

_________________

btw think this is legit?

Crane Kenney @CraneKenney · 28 Oct 2011
@dan_bernstein It's not nice to say that a distinguished MLB team executive is "worming." Do you ever wonder why you don't get interviews?

because a perfunctory twitter search of "crane kenney" brings up this account, an "Evil Crane Kenney" and some other guy who does some sort of a high-level-parody account as @SirCraneKenney (right now whoever made the account is having a healthy phobia of elevators because there is only one "Sir" in chicago sports media and PROTIP it ain't crane) and like, if this were a parody of crane kenney why would they go out and make an account to take a shot @ bernstein that's out of line with the general idea of a parody account there to make crane kenney look like a doltbucket?

_________________

The Crane Kenney chronology (Chraneology?), as best I can remember, went something like this:

Midway through 2006, Andy MacPhail was already kinda peacing out as president of the Cubs. Meanwhile, the Tribune Company boardroom was in disarray, and whoever usually babysat the Cubs' operations wasn't babysitting them anymore, so someone appointed a lawyer from deep within Tribune Tower to keep an eye on things. MacPhail left after 2006, John McDonough moved up to president in 2007, but more and more, we'd hear about a "Crane Kenney" who had something to do with the Cubs but no one really knew what.

Around this time, Bernstein started joking about "Crane Kenney, International Man of Mystery," whose name would come up in Cubs stories as if he were a big deal without him ever being introduced to the public as such. McDonough bailed after one year to go run the Blackhawks and help them win two championships in four years, then Sam Zell took the Tribune Company private, which led to Crane Kenney being entrusted with more of a day-to-day role. At this point, Crane Kenney revealed himself not to be an international man of mystery but a provincial man of goofiness, and Dan started ripping him every chance he got, just like Murph went after HEEEEEY F-A-I-ELLLL BONK BONK. The picture Dan painted was of some anonymous pencil-pushing schmo who got the magic shoulder-tap to go play with the Trib's shiny toy, and went full meatball because of it. Pretty sure he also bungled some business deals in that time, beyond just wearing baseball pants and calling in Greek priests.

When the children of the corn bought the team, Dan was apoplectic that they didn't replace Crane Kenney, then lost it again when they hired Theo and still didn't push him out altogether, Crane Kenney having been some sort of de facto president between McDonough and Theo. I don't know that Dan ever fully 180ed on old Crane so much as he just waited for the CotC to install enough executives who were to his liking (TheoandJed, Wally Heyward, that one guy named Ira or something who mysteriously went away, Julian Green and his flavor) that he couldn't well blast Kenney for still being around lest Dan impugn all the people he does approve of, who in turn must approve of Crane, who would have been pushed out if they wished it so.

_________________

Addendum: the whole thing about Crane Kenney wearing baseball pants is still strange, don't get me wrong, but it's a lot less strange when you remember that story of the Cubs' "team psychologist" who duped his way into a job where he just hung out in the clubhouse, shagged flies, and wore team apparel while going around asking players if they were feeling okay. The only question I have about that whole deal is whether it would have been a better Seinfeld subplot for George or for Kramer. Add in Ronnie Woo-Woo, and maybe the Cubs just have a pervasive culture of unnecessary baseball pants. I'll go buy a pair right now.

_________________

BernSTINE's gigantic head might explode over this one.

_________________

I can't say I have had any direct dealings with a Crane Kenney, but have talked with people who have and this has nothing to do with the Cubs. Lotsa short sided thoughts, trying to hammer people on smaller issues, proving something to someone and thus risking loss of a deal. Now, maybe he didnt mind losing the deal, but if thats the case, it almost gets me pissed off that a guy at that pay grade is screwing with people over $100's of dollars in transactions, as his time should be worth MUCH MORE. It's why he gets paid what he gets paid.

the other stories involving his Cubs business practices are far from impressive as well.

I am not going to blame him for some of the issues he has shouldered, but you never hear about him doing a great job, or heralded for his forward thinking on any issue. It's always the fact he was handicapped in his job, there was a different direction, different ownership, etc.

I feel like he has been kept around just because he has the phone numbers of all the contractors, the alderman, etc. He knows which piles the right folders are in.

Hiring and firing is an art. It's not easy. finding good people to do a job and then evaluating them correctly is something that brings a CEO profit or loss and to date Tom ricketts has failed.

_________________
"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Well stated BF.

It is hard to understand why this clown hasn't been demoted or launched and obviously it is a reflection on the continued failed leadership of one Tom Ricketts.

I am not sure what this Crane guy has done wrong. Mistakes sure but he is on the business side just like a zillion other managers. Is it because Bernsie made fun of him or do fans transfer field suckage to him?

_________________
Elections have consequences.

First big thing Crane Kenney did for the Cubs: negotiate, write and sign the contract with the rooftop owners that is currently mucking up the works over at Wrigley:









^^^that was 2 years ago. wonder what the total is now.

I guess I haven't been around the business world enough. Do executives get long term contracts? I thought they were at will with the ability to hire and fire being necessarily fluid save for the promise of a golden parachute should services no longer be necessary.

At least they will be able to trade him to the Yankees for prospects if they eat 3/4 of the salary.

_________________
O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.