WELCOME TO THE 2014-15 EUROSEASON THREAD! NOW WITH THE GLORIOUS ARRIVAL OF 3 CHELSEA FANS WORLDWIDE TO TELL BLACK PEOPLE TO STAY OFF THE TRAIN!



[TL;DR OP redacted because i'm an idiot who is often ashamed of his babblefests where he's sitting there with a cold one just going on and on and on and on and on. it literally pained me to see the OP every time i went to update the topic/subject so yeah ---- ON TO THE THREAD!]

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Apologies to Zizou? I don't see his name on the 13-14 thread. Get your soccer blinders off! Why's the EuroSeason Thread(TM) - Now with 100% EPL talk? I tell ya.

oh shit, you started the 13-14 season thread? well my apologies SIR.... you know how "you soccer people" are. beards. flannels. new balances. bicycles. MLS fandom. you're all the same to me =P

btw, let's get this thread cracking. the scouse have struck again by signing ".....who's this guy and why is he on the English team?" du jour Adam Lallana!



So seeing as I tend to walk alone in life, I turn to those of you who NEVER walk alone to tell me about this wunderkind and why he's spent 26 years preparing for the day when shit got real cuz Brendan came a-callin'. I hear that he's pretty good.... not too great, not really some sort of "WHOA!!!!" potential guy.... but a good solid workman with a good solid workrate who might not wow you with his god-borrowed talent but i'll be damned if he doesn't leave it all on the pitch every time out there! #JFT96!!!!!!!



suffice to say, the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up if i was about to be bitten by a rabid chipmunk in golden boots!

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No season can truly be be a season without the man, the myth, the legend that is David Moyes.

This is why I have gone and done the proper thing and renamed the FA Community Shield (itself renamed from the Charity Shield when they figured out the charity that the proceeds went to was that of the organizers) to the David Moyes Memoriall Shield, in honor of his one and only trophy attained throughout over 10+ years of service to British Football.



[crap after this]

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Don't be too sure that David Moyes is out of the EPL. We have our first coaching change as Tony Pullis has left Crystal Palace with immediate effect. Sounds like there was a difference of opinion between Pullis and the Palace board over allocation of transfer funds.

What the fuck Palace? You knobs.

Also Pulis is a giant twat for quitting 2 days before the season starts. It's not like he just found out what the transfer policy would be like.

well as a wise man before me said, have a look at stoke city's glorious history and see what giving pulis complete control looks like >> http://www.transferleague.co.uk/premier ... sfers.html

maybe he'll go replace big sam or whoever's fucked at villa. i think he decided to hedge his bet on himself as "the fixer" to hold out for a team that does slightly better than having martin kelly as your marquee signing after a quality manager of the year run that always gave us #Crystanbul (nevar forget)

btw, since there's no united fans here (that i know of): has anyone else had a good laugh @ the british media's hardon for LvG?? Daily Mail might as well change its name to the DvG as today it's literally LOUIS VAN GAAL LIVE and WE WANT MORE LVG, NOT MOURINHO and whatnot. arsene looked exceedingly cheeky in his presser today, perhaps he knows he's got a quality squad and if he goes and signs somebody to replace arteta it could be a fun year. they sure knew how to pounce on a city B-team... aged chardonnay and obscure foreign records with arsene up in the ivory tower for 14-15, eh?

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sini, you into the fantasy league yet?

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Ба́бушка гада́ла, да на́двое сказа́ла—то ли до́ждик, то ли снег, то ли бу́дет, то ли нет.

nah... after signing up for a few fantasy prem leagues last year i realized that between baseball and football i've got that itch beyond scratched. plus having to submit teams by like 445am sat morning not fully knowing who's starting is all kinds of inexact and dodgy and the dealbreaker for me.

thus far, my favorite thing has been LvG busting out the tactics binder around HT and lugging it all throughout the second half. was that sub of fellaini for ander herrera some sort of "mad genius" message to his bosses to get players in? either way the bed was promptly shit after the fellaini sub and that was one hell of a way to start a season.

here's the tactics binder getting a workout while LvG is once again burdened by his greatness in having to sign an autograph after that historic 1-2 OT debut/lidlifter. this kid will have a story for life on this one...

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Great finish by Arsenal.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Damn, this day keeps getting better for sinicalypse.
First Arsenal win in stoppage time, and now this:
http://pitchfork.com/news/56339-an-aphe ... er-london/

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

you know that arsenal's doing alright when the best trolling adrian durham has got for postgame call-in is "should calum chambers be dropped for per mertesacker?"

tried as i might to remember that cardiff city game with the late lord bendtner winner earlier this year, i had gotten to the point of "oh shit we're gonna draw with them" when thuggin chamakh and the timekillers got theirs. sanogo's first touch was god-awful and for the first time in my life i was glad to see olivier giroud, at least he has everything else but the "strike" part of "striker" down.

aphex went to the KLF school of promotion, eh

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Yeah, Chamakh was pretty obnoxious today.
And let's not even talk about that hair-do(n't).

As far as Aphex Twin, I bet people are seriously psyched by this mystery.
I thought it was pretty cool.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

somebody showed up on 4chan last week and claimed warp is dropping 2 aphex twin albums in september. a lot of people want to take this as confirmation of that.... and i sure as hell hope so seeing as it's been since october 2001 for a proper aphex twin LP.

edit on march 27 2015: indeed, we got the syro LP in sept, then the computer controlled instruments part 2 EP a month or two later, and oh yeah those 173 old unreleased/ish tracks from his soundcloud. good year for the afx.

(as always, i got my football-proper brothers' backs on the afx tip! what what? =)

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Just watched the first half of Celtic v Dundee Utd. from this morning that I dvr'ed.
I was laughing half the time. Bhoys made Dundee Utd. look like the benchwarmers from an AYSO team.
I can delete it now, as I see the final score was Celtic 5 Dundee Utd. 1.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Time for the last minute panic buys at United!

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

we can only hope...

at least they did better than my fantasy team...

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Ба́бушка гада́ла, да на́двое сказа́ла—то ли до́ждик, то ли снег, то ли бу́дет, то ли нет.

Go Burnley. Fuck Chelsea.
That is all.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Fuck any EPL team that's been in the Champions League in the last 20 years.

i hope to god you don't support teams with CL qualifiers, cuz as far as yesterday..... holy fuck that sucked. it just... man.... there's a meme on the 4chan arsenal thread >cazorshit and well, you know, you try to be diplomatic and say things like "he's great squad dept" and etc but ugh.... just ugh. i remarked to my brother during halftime that "hey, i haven't thought about arsenal for the last 10 minutes, this is great" and he's like "so of course you're watching the second half?" and i had to remind him that i have indeed ran face first into a brick wall once in my life. hey, i was a touch overweight so when you're playing group-tag running from wall side to grass side and back, welp going back to the wall side i was close to getting tagged. i didn't get tagged. i got walled. but the important part is that i didn't get tagged.

so i watched the second half and got walled BUT NOT TAGGED, just like arsenal did. now if they fuck up next wednesday...... [runs off to the katy perry thread to wank it to her and forget about this fucking CL qualifier bullshit]

it'd honestly be kind of poetic justice if all the "thursday football" jokes i've made over teh last year come back to bite me in the ass.

but what's that you say? cant hear you over here.... i'm busy sculpting my calum chambers statue thank you very much. CALL HIM UP WOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

/me also continues the search for joel campbell. the milk carton campaign is happening.

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this fucking sucks. absolutely fucking sucks massive salty dong (arsenal down 0-2 @ HT at everton)

today we've seen that:

1) calum chambers is playing like a 19 year old CB. even tho the 2nd goal was offsides everton deserves to be up 2-0 at this point. arsenal gave them good looks and they converted

2) sanchez as a solo striker = not a good first impression. when you've got a 5'7" solo striker you're literally left pining for giroud, which i mean.... shit there oughta be a hipster indie band called pining for giroud.

3) it's pre-season for ozil/mertesacker. the former is doing that thing he did in the world cup where he's getting the ball in attacking positions so infrequently he (god bless his heart) goes for the gold with every touch, with the resulting failures looking spectacularly bad. like get him off the pitch bad.

4) this arsenal squad is better than everton but they're like eunuchs showing up at a porno shoot.

so yeah i think the team is perhaps a bit guilty of looking ahead to wednesday when you can argue that the whole season is on the line.... hell of a way to spend a wednesday in august, eh? even if they lose 1-2 or 1-3 they need to get a goal soon so they dont go out like bitches and carry mental baggage into wednesday. no pressure at all, short of a loss or even 1-1 draw = thursday football.

i took this screencap earlier and named it "arsene-pensive.jpg" ---- thats about the best word i can come up with to describe this arsenal season

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i wrote that at halftime. suffice to say, pining for giroud was the right course of action. and elsewhere i was like "oh crap we're gonna bring in cazorla for ozil aren't we?" and sure enough cazorla comes in and has a foot in those two late goals to tie the game.... and arsenal ends up with the most !!!!!!! draw that i can remember in recent memory. god damn if they woulda come in with another goal to get all 3pts i might have had to cut a rug as i busted out the jig to end all jigs.

that's why they call it "the beautiful game", eh?

anyways, arsenal's season is basically on the line come wednesday with the CL qualification. why do i say the season is on the line? when chasing "top top quality" players in the last week or so of the transfer market, the best players in the world tend to want to play in teh champions league, not to mention you get something like ~20-25mil in tv rights $$$ if you qualify for the group stage. arsenal has the home-n-away CL qualifier tilt, where they went to besitkas and had a 0-0 draw... so basically now they have to go out and win (cuz even a 1-1 draw = 1-1 overall but besitkas has an important away goal and they advance. tho a 0-0 draw hearkens extra time and then a shootout, so one way or anotehr they have to end up winning this match) if they wanna have any chance to potentially add another world/class player, which this team needs to truly contend for the PL/CL/FAcup in earnest. the capital one cup (nee league cup) doesn't really matter since it'd be arsenal's kids/b-team getting you all the way to the semis or final before you actually see a proper arsenal team go out there and contend for it.

so yeah, i presume the chances of anyone like cavani (cuz despite the giroud lovers being out in #s today it's like "ok yeah giroud has size/physicality/aerial-presence and he plays/passes like an attacking mid.... but imagine if you had a guy like that who could also kick the ball in the fucking net") or whoever are likely contingent on the CL.... so wednesday is a HUGE day and we'll see what happens.

[edit: LOL i was afraid we couldn't beat besitkas. seriously WHO THE FUCK LOSES TO BESITKAS IN A 2 LEG MATCHUP?! ......oh wait a minute. sorry. hey at least i was pining for cavani so you got me there.]

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holy shit man..... so manchester united ended up in the 2nd round draw of the capital one cup (nee milk cup, nee nee league cup.... a 2nd-tier trophy where the top sides usually trot out youth/B teams as depth) and uhhhh wow the MK dons

[TRUST ME IT WAS ALL CRAP AFTER THIS]

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Man Citeh is incredibly deep this year. I had no idea. Just not keeping up, I guess.

Anyone want to challenge them as the early favorite?

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Ба́бушка гада́ла, да на́двое сказа́ла—то ли до́ждик, то ли снег, то ли бу́дет, то ли нет.

LOL at Manchester United.
0-0 draw at burnley.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Fixed.

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Fuckin' Chelsea...........
Liverpool definitely need 3 points tomorrow.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

soooo after the first of a handful of international breaks the european soccer world is back in proper action tomorrow (unless you were watching the french ligue 1 today where i think nice played marsielle..... and nobody gave a shit) and you know what that means, right?

arsenal's scheduled to get got by manchester city at 6:45am tomorrow.

this is total "....do i have to?" territory because with possible injuries keeping out welsh jesus aaron ramsey and maybe mikel arteta (who arsene has masterfully got me pining for already...... when he manned one of the positions that was in for-sure need of an upgrade. arsene already got me pining for olivier giroud by deploying yaya sanogo and his 8 metric ton first touch, so i think i'm all worn out on the whole "pining" thing this season) yeah..... i mean even tho arsenal managed a draw with city @ the emirates last year, i'm thinking it's still a 75%+ likely 0pts and a 23%- likely 1pt and then roughly a 2% chance of three glorious points.

after that painful draw @ leicester city last match 3pts here would get arsenal back on track.... and stranger things have happened. but this is arsenal, and even tho they've shown a lot more fight since the FA cup final, that's only because they've proven themselves to be fully capable of losing to anybody as they've gone down 0-2 to hull city and everton and 0-1 against crystal palace and leicester city starting with that FA cup final tilt. so yeah you wanna commend them for not giving up, especially down 0-2 in multiple games.... but they're only in that position because they're playing like arrrghhhhh especially early in games.

go out and get up 2-0 or 3-0 against city and you'll sway me from this overall malaise i've got. i don't fancy arsenal as title contenders this year (nor did i last year when they were top of the table for a considerable portion of the middle of the season, why man i can remember that game vs everton where a win would have put them something like 7 points clear atop the table, but of course fucking deulofeu equalized and it was just a 5pt lead and yeah..... you gotta take advantage of those point-swings whenever you can lest you end up like arsenal last season where A COLD DAY IN STOKE..... effectively ended >our season)

so yeah even tho jovetic is injured and aguero is prolly not 100% and fernando is also out (and its easy to mix him up with fernandinho cuz both fernando and fernandinho are on citeh) i just...... i'll believe 3pts are possible when i see arsenal get them.

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Is this at the Emirates? They won't win. They'll be lucky to get a draw.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

We drew Burnley, yay.