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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 1:27 am 
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You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park. Oh no, don't get me wrong, they're fine people, good Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people, Stuart. But they don't know what the queers are doing to the soil.

You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid who delivers papers in the neighborhood? He's a fine kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it. Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a burrow owl. Kept buggin' his old man, "DAAAAD, GET ME A BURROW OWL. I'LL NEVER ASK FOR ANYTHING ELSE AS LONG AS I LIVE." So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl. Anyway, 10:30 the other night, I go out into my yard, and there's the Wurster kid looking up in the tree! I said, "What are you looking for?" He said, "I'm looking for my burrow owl." I say, "JUMPING JESUS ON A POGO STICK!!! EVERYBODY KNOWS THE BURROW OWL LIVES, IN A HOLE, IN THE GROUND!!! WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT A BURROW OWL, ANYWAY?!?!" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?

I first became aware of this about ten years ago, the summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr., died. You know that carnival that comes through town every year? Well, this year it came through with a ride called The Mixer. The man said "Keep your head and arms inside the Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr., he was a DAAAREDEVIL!!!, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying "HEY EVERYBODY! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!" POW!!! HE WAS DECAPITATED!!! They found his head over by the sno-cone concession! A few days after that, I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there from Pueblo, Colorado! And it's addressed to Bill Jr.! And it's entitled "Do You Know What The Queers Are Doing To Our Soil?"

Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big underground homosexual population -- Des Moines, Iowa. Perfect example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart! You can't build on it. You can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, Stuart! I know it's the queers! They're in it with the aliens! They're building landing strips for gay Martians! I swear to God!

You know what, Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here in the trailer park.













Yeah so the Philadelphia Flyers are a hockey team and not a terribly good one. They have Claude Giroux and some other dudes, I dunno. They like fighting and usually have poor defense and goaltending like just about every Flyers team of the last forty years. Bad Eastern team on the road against a well-rested team means the Hawks should win without much trouble. Probably sitting this one out again but I wasn't gonna miss paying tribute to my favorite Philadelphia band of all time.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:13 am 
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I had to look this up. WTF?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 4:20 am 
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It was that or "Punk Rock Girl," which might be the most perfect song ever written on the topic of punk rock girls.

It sounds as if Kris Versteeg will be playing along Shaw and Kane on the second line, you know, having proven himself worthy of top-six ice time this preseason by being bad or hurt. This knocks Saad down a line and out of position to #3R and Smith back down to the fourth where he belongs at the expense of Jeremy Morin. I love Morin, but Carcillo has been better than he has, sorry to say. Rozsival should be back in on the third pair, which reunites the Swedes and puts van Riemsdyk on his off side.

Flyers lineup appear to go thus:

Michael ROFL! - Claude Giroux - Jakub Voracek
Brayden Schenn - Pierre-Edouard Bellemare - Wayne Simmonds
R.J. Umberger - Sean Couturier - Matt Read
Zac Rinaldo - Chris VandeVelde - Blair Jones
Nicklas Grossmann - Braydon Coburn
Andrew MacDonald - Mark Streit
Michael Del Zotto - Luke Schenn
Steve Mason
Ray Emery

and hoo boy, as self-handicapping as it is to play Shaw at second-line center (I insist his happy place is third-line wing) with a rusty Versteeg on his wing, this should not be a tough team to beat. 29-year-old NHL rookie at 2C? R.J. Umberger four years past his prime if he ever even had a prime? Grossman on the first pairing? Two crappy Schenns? Zac Rinaldo anywhere? They'd almost be better served with a Couturier-Giroux-Voracek line playing all 60 minutes like a video game.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:56 am 
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Where'd Hartnell end up?

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:02 am 
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Columbus

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 12:49 pm 
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With Crow out, there is an increased chance of CH getting worked up tonight. I never get his musical references, which makes me feel inadequate.

When I see the word "Stuart", I think of a sports reporter with a lazy eye or that mouse cartoon character.

Image

Image


Dan McNeil, World Series, and Hawks game.

I gotta feeling...
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

A feeling... Woohoo
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 4:34 pm 
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Well, let's see what Raanta's got this year. He had a good run to start the year and then got so bad that his sv% dropped below .900 (kind of the Mendoza Line of goaltending) by the end. Crawford didn't face a lot of shots on goal in the first four games but he did a very good job stopping most of them.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 6:22 pm 
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denisdman wrote:
I never get his musical references, which makes me feel inadequate.

well so far this year I have

"A Life of Possibilities" by the Dismemberment Plan
"Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls
"Idioteque" by Radiohead
"Stuart" by the Dead Milkmen

A bunch are missing I'm sure but if I just work my way down the forum I see the following, not all of which are mine:

Kings series: NWA - Gangsta Gangsta
Wild series: Bob Dylan - Subterranean Homesick Blues
Blues series: The Mountain Goats - High Hawk Season
Predators: Elvis Costello - Oliver's Army
Capitals: The Dismemberment Plan - The Ice of Boston
Canadiens: Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah
Blue Jackets: Cake - Short Skirt, Long Jacket
Penguins: Outcasts - I'm in Pittsburgh
Senators: Alanis Morrissette - One Hand in My Pocket
Bruins: Frank Zappa - Let's Make the Water Turn Black
Hurricanes: Radiohead - How To Disappear Completely
Blues: Sublime - What I Got
Red Wings: Superchunk - Detroit Has a Skyline
Predators: Kris Kristofferson - To Beat The Devil
Avs: Churchill - Change
Sabres: The Aislers Set - Hit the Snow
Rangers: Leonard Cohen - First We Take Manhattan
Kings: The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead
Flames: The Thought Industry - Lovers in Flames
Jets: The Weakerthans - Left and Leaving
Wild: Prince - When Doves Cry
Red Wings: Gregg Alexander - Michigan Rain
Bruins: Boston - More Than a Feeling
Avs: Townes Van Zandt - Colorado Girl
Oilers: Papa M - Up North Kids
Canadiens: Kate & Anna McGarrigle - Complainte pour Sainte-Catherine
Rangers: The Magnetic Fields - 100,000 Fireflies
Sharks: The Smiths - Pretty Girls Make Graves
Devils: The Wrens - She Sends Kisses
Islanders: Blue Oyster Cult - Don't Fear the Reaper
Avs: Foster the People - Pumped Up Kicks
Devils: Bruce Springsteen - Devils and Dust
Canucks: Destroyer - Kaputt
Predators: The Magnetic Fields - Two Characters in Search of a Country Song
Kings: Lorde - Royals
Maple Leafs: Broken Social Scene - Anthems For A Seventeen-Year-Old Girl
Flyers: Bruce Springsteen - Atlantic City
Stars: Pink Floyd - Interstellar Overdrive
Panthers: Pantera - Walk
Ducks: The Offspring - Come Out and Play
Wild: Peter Himmelman - I Feel Young Today
Stars: Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight, Tonight
Coyotes: The Magnetic Fields - Desert Island
Stars: Steely Dan - Black Friday
Flames: Electric Light Orchestra - Fire on High
Oilers: Midnight Oil - Beds Are Burning
Jets: The Weakerthans - Anchorless
Avs: Fleetwood Mac - Landslide
Sharks: Clarence Carter - Strokin'
Predators: Jello Biafra - Let's Go Burn Ole Nashville Down
Coyotes: The Magnetic Fields - No One Will Ever Love You
Oilers: The Rural Alberta Advantage - Edmonton
Jets: The Weakerthans - Hymn of the Medical Oddity
Flames: The Velvet Underground - The Murder Mystery
Jets: The Weakerthans - One Great City!
Senators: Radiohead - Let Down
Wild: Husker Du - Something I Learned Today
Wild: The Replacements - Alex Chilton
Lightning: MGMT - Electric Feel
Panthers: Flo Rida - Good Feeling
Maple Leafs: Jens Lekman - Maple Leaves
Blues: Wilco - Sky Blue Sky
Hurricanes: Brass Bonanza
Sabres: Goo Goo Dolls - Black Balloon
Islanders: Billy Joel - The Downeaster "Alexa"
Blues: Wilco - Red-Eyed and Blue
Lightning: The Mountain Goats - First Few Desperate Hours
Capitals: The Magnetic Fields - Washington, D.C.


exhale. There you go!

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:29 pm 
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Thanks CH. How's life treating you? I wish you liked beer because I'd buy you a few.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:31 pm 
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You know, it's just a confluence of work/family/relationship stressors all hitting at the same time. I hat-tricked! I'll be fine. I've been doing this for fifteen years.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:37 pm 
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Well sports, while frustrating, are the one universal joy in life. World Series and Hawks are a good night in my mind. Enjoy.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:37 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
I'll be fine. I've been doing this for fifteen years.

Rad.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:41 pm 
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Wow. Mason's stats are shitty.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:41 pm 
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Darkside wrote:
Wow. Mason's stats are shitty.


They'll get better tonight.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:42 pm 
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denisdman wrote:
Darkside wrote:
Wow. Mason's stats are shitty.


They'll get better tonight.

:lol: Most likely.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:45 pm 
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So Crawford's injury is stated as day to day which according to Curious Hair means he has Ebola and is on the verge of death.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:49 pm 
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Is Oduya wearing Steeg's original number?

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:59 pm 
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denisdman wrote:
Is Oduya wearing Steeg's original number?

Roszival is


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:06 pm 
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Hawks were buzzing. Only a matter of time.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:06 pm 
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I'd rather be short handed than watch the Hawks go offsides on the pp entry.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:06 pm 
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Dineen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:07 pm 
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Hmm Hawks doing their best to please CH.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:07 pm 
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This guy Mason sucks.

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bigfan wrote:
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:08 pm 
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Mason was with Columbus back in the day...now with Umberger and...the Philly Blue Jackets?

Kaner.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:11 pm 
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Oh God, of all Q-isms, I despise greasy goals most.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:11 pm 
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Nasty snapper.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:12 pm 
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Ray Emery, your table is ready.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:12 pm 
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If Bickell is getting goals something is wrong with this guy Mason.

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bigfan wrote:
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:12 pm 
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Saad deserved that line demotion.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:12 pm 
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Giants runs vs Hawks goals?

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