But if the polar blasts are unseasonable, and you aren't two years old, then 50-degree days aren't rare.


One sentence. Bless my absurdly growing projecting heart.

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#writering

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

Can someone teach this asshole to write?

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Yeah, I saw that in Mexico once.

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Dave and CH would be great candidate's for that.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Seems like there's an audience for that, here.

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

Yes, there is.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

There is, now.

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Stop doing this to yourselves.

After reading too much Ike South today, i'll take that self righteous pseudo intellectual babble.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

In what way is this a contradiction? I'm not being snarky; I honestly don't understand and I'm wondering if I'm missing something.

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

Also, while I have you here, let's talk about this sentence for a minute

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

I thought it would be impossible for anyone to ever have longer run-on sentences than Franz Kafka... until Dan Berstein.

most of the b&b bitching that goes on in this thread can be solved by 1 - not hate listening... 2 - not hate reading his crap blog

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Indeed, a pair of salient points. But the postings here provide an invaluable service to those who try to stick to those points. Reinforcement, if you will, of such choice.

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DRINK BƎTTƎR. @theRIPH

so the Bears aren't cheap, they just "love the chance to not fire expensive people."

My mom used to review my papers that I would write back in high school. She was always pretty critical of my work. I told her she was just jealous because I was already a better writer than her. I still feel bad for treating her that way. The truth is I wasn't very good.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

This should be titled: Bears win Sad Bowl. What a shitshow that game was.

I'm listening to Napalm Death because I can't take B&B's noise today.

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Same sex, different habits - who gives a fucking shit
This won't make the species unfurl

BEARS BEARS BEARS

Bob LeGere at 2
Dan Durkin at 4
Jon Bostic at 5
ZachZaidman TBD

You mean "ZZ to pop up anytime and spread his bullshit over any negatives regarding the Bears."

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Same sex, different habits - who gives a fucking shit
This won't make the species unfurl

dan's hitting all the high notes today....

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO THINK THAT! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO THINK THAT! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN A SUPER BOWL WITH JOSH MCCOWN AS YOUR QUARTERBACK! JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!!?!?!?!

HE'S AWFULLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

/me enters his schtick coma.

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The straw men are in full force today, and Terry is leading the charge as much as Dan. I don't believe there are people texting in to say that Josh McCown could lead the Bears to a Super Bowl. The argument always was, and still is, that McCown proved you didn't have to have the physical equivalent of Chuck Norris at quarterback to win with these weapons. I still believe that to be true, and I thank Josh for the perspective.

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oh comeon CH, i've personally trained you to deal with bernstein's amateur hour in your sleep! i make people put in work to get the occasionally-worthwhile stories that i've accrued from mellifluously perambulating throughout society with grass growing behind my every step like i'm DEREK SANDERSON JETER.

remember, bernstein has people/bosses/himself to impress with these columns. this is the modern-day-equivalent of being a newspaper's resident "bigfoot." when you know tim baffoe is looking up to you as the light and the way you can feel the trepidation with every keystroke as you faintly remember baffoe's HELLO WORLD! column at 670thescore.com where he truly and unequivocally believed that he finally "made it [big]" and it was akin to hitting that illegal exit from the game grid in tron.

nobody wants to deal with a crestfallen tim baffoe; he might spit on your pizza.

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you know, for some reason i could picture dan getting mugged on a random city street and as the guy is in the process of taking his wallet/keys/etc he starts yelling YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN THE GAME OF LIFE BY ROBBING ME! HOW DOES ROBBING ME GET YOU CLOSER TO THE AMERICAN DREAM?

Robber: Is this guy for real?
Mitch: You wanna talk about robbery? Bernstein thinks he's entitled to McNeil money now that McNeil is gone!
Beardown: something something white women something something behind the scenes hatred something something me me me me me
Bernstein: YOU'RE REALLY NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT! JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Goff: If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, do you think it could do "Off the Dribble" even 1/4th as good as me?
Spiegel: I could go for a sandwich right about now.
Drinky: I'm definitely a part-timer when it comes to sandwiches.
Krazy Ivan: ...
spmack:

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what do you think are the photos that MATTER to dan bernstein?

he's all about slaying sacred cows so i'm pretty sure he's gotta be against incessantly high volumes of pictures of your kids, especially on facebook. i'm sure he resents people taking selfies everywhere because it'd be like "you're an idiot. nobody cares that you were somewhere special or with someone special, so get the hell out of my way because the rest of us have things to do that are more important than your need for vanity" so it's not that. i can't picture him endorsing pictures of relative-oddities in our day to day lives because he'd be like "WOW YOU SAW SOMETHING FUNNY OUT THERE. I'M GOING TO LET YOU IN ON TWO LITTLE SECRETS: 1) IT'S NOT FUNNY AND 2) THERE'S THESE THINGS CALLED "WORDS" THAT YOU CAN USE TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SAW TO OTHER PEOPLE. TRY THEM OUT SOMETIME" so yeah i'm striking out on that one too.

alls i can think of is if you happened to have pictures of child abuse from a pro athlete because that's THE EVIDENCE that is increasingly more and more IN and considering that WE'RE TALKING ABOUT CHILD ABUSE HERE (a moment of silence for the brave stand dan took against child rape going as far back as 2011, a pre-civilized time when you weren't considered a "real man" unless you forced a pre-pubescent child, preferably male, to accept the gift of your cock as an important rite of passage that firmly established your virility to the rest of the world), ERGO, this is VERY. IMPORTANT. RADIO. whether it's a commercial or otherwise.

so yeah is it too much to ask for a little more truth and honesty in these live read commercials? have dan get his SERIOUS/URGENT voice (which is so worth the extra $25 upgrade when you buy the bernstein live read package) and have him say "HAVE YOU HAD A CHILD WITH A PRO ATHLETE WHO SHOWS UP ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR ONLY TO BEAT YOUR BASTARD CHILD WITH SOME SORT OF A BLUNT OBJECT? IF YOU HAVE, AND STUDIES SHOW THAT BY THE YEAR 2025 15% OF ALL WOMEN WILL HAVE AT LEAST ONE SEMI-LEGITIMATE CHILD WITH A WITH A BIG BLACK STUD OF A PRO ATHLETE, THEN YOU'RE GOING TO NEED [whatever product to safeguard your photos that MATTER, followed by the brief description of what said product does] BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THE LEGAL SYSTEM IS TOO SLOW AND UNRELIABLE TO CATCH ALL OF THE HORRIBLE PEOPLE WHO ARE ABUSING THEIR CHILDREN, SO TAKE THE NECESSARY STEPS TO GET THE EVIDENCE IN BY USING [PRODUCT] AVAILABLE AT [WHEREVER] DON'T WAIT UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE, BECAUSE TODAY'S PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE WILL USE HIS STATUS TO AVOID JUSTICE FOR IS CRIMES. WITH [PRODUCT] YOU'LL MAKE SURE THAT THEY WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO GET ANOTHER JOB AT MCDONALDS EVER AGAIN. CALL NOW."

---

it's just occurred to me that 1) maybe only ~5 of you heard this commercial i'm referencing 2) i went a lil bit overboard and 3) i'm essentially posting to myself in this thread.

thank god i'm doing this for the future total humanity archive project that will eventually save every online communication ever made as a veritable time capsule to, well, encapsulate the essence of the time/s we live in. i think the place they physically store all this crap is in utah, actually. so it goes.

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It's just me and you, Sini. The one day I actually listen, there is hardly anyone else.

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I don't disagree that it would be nice if the Bears had more speed on offense, as Dan and the caller just agreed on, but how many more specific weapons does Jay Cutler need? He has what was assumed in the preseason to be the best receiving corps in football, and he has Matt Forte and a much improved offensive line. He also used to talk all the time about how he likes "big, go and get it receivers." But now he also needs a speed guy?

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