Reared on the Score wrote:
http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2014/12/07/you-wont-listen-and-derrick-rose-cant-breathe/
He did RT the silly Jordan tweet later so maybe they're still cool. I mostly wanted to see what posting a beardown superfluous thread would be like.
dude, if you wanna do an AUTHENTIC beardown post what you have to do is find an issue/topic that's already got multiple threads on the board (usually because some news breaks during a show and then discussion starts in the show thread, and then ~2 people go and make threads about the specific news/topic/whatever so people can see the news in the "view active topics" list and then talk about it in its own thread.... and then after a few hours (and occasionally a post or 2 by The Man, The Myth, The Legend(TM)) beardown makes a beardown-thread about the topic..... cuz see the thing is if there's a topic being discussed on pages 2-4 of a showthread or there's a 2/+ page thread discussing the topic, man, people might start off on page 2 or 3 of a topic and if beardown got his thoughts in on page 1, welp hey what if people show up later and then click on the last page of the thread to start their reading about teh topic? THEY MIGHT MISS THE BEARDOWN THOUGHTS!
and since you know mitch, rod, beerstain, drinky, mcneil, speagol, and of course countless others are hanging on beardown's every word, they're gonna want to have that easy to find/access OFFICIAL BEARDOWN THREAD on sai topic because i mean seriously, are they supposed to come to a messageboard and read people's infinitesimal whinging for awhile and THEN come across what they REALLY came here for: beardown's unique insight, candor, and odd sexually-predatoring-white-women jokes?
hell no dude... beardown brings views and ad revenue to the site like no other. as a matter of fact the banner up top should have the SCORE 670 logo thingy, the bagman, and then maybe right under the SCORE 670 lettering it should prominently say "featuring BEARDOWN" because shit, you know if you walk the halls of the WSCR studios and happen to utter the phrase "BEAR DOWN" mitch and no less than 5 other peple are all going to stop what they're doing and look around thinking BEARDOWN? WHERE? IS HE HERE? OH NO EVERYONE ZIP YOUR LIPS BECAUSE WE CAN'T LET ANYTHING GET OUT BECAUSE BEARDOWN IS THE VERITABLE PAUL REVERE OF THE CHICAGO SPORTS TALK RADIO DISCUSSION SCENE. WHEN HE LEADS EVERYONE FOLLOWS. WHEN HE SPEAKS EVERYONE LISTENS. WHEN HE MENACES WHITE WOMEN THEY FLEE FOR THEIR LIVES. BEARDOWN MAKES IT HAPPEN.
so yeah RoTS (not to be confused with Revenge of The Sith), you've still got a ways to go before you can ever hope to EMULATE (because you'll never "reach" such lofty heights) a proper beardown thread.... and you have to make sure it's a yenta topic involving some of the local W-List celebrities and media luminaries so it's something worth yentaing on and on and on about. and then if you're gonna claim a beardown post you have to add the most important part in: the hypothetical/conversation at the end:
Drinky: Personally I think sini AND Beardown can go fuck themselves. They need to listen more closely and more often because we didn't say anything of the sorts, and listening more/closely will learn them.
Mitch: NO NO NO NO NO!!!! NO MORE PEOPLE MAKING BEARDOWN THREADS! if we had multiple Beardowns i'd have to jump off of the roof of the Prudential Building becase my job as a media gatekeeper is to restrict the amounts of truth that slip out, and Beardown is truth concentrate that could destroy our whole operatrion! Why am I saying this aloud? I shoulda just said
Jason Goff: Hey guys, if you bump up my salary and guarantee me AT LEAST the 9-1 saturday morning gig with or without Rosenbloom I'll come back and produce! Honest! DaMaNeel(TM) said I'm the #1 Chicago Sports Talk Host of 2020! GUYS MY PHONE IS ON 24/7/365 SO CALL ME!!!!!
Chet Coppock: .....I blame the Jews.
Laurence Holmes: Steve Dahl taught me to blame the Jews, and I think he knows a LITTLE more about worldwide jewry than you.
Beardown: See? I'm truly the straw that stirs the drink.... or better yet, I'm the whole damn drink.... provided it has roofies in it so I have a chance to get with some white women!
White Women: Damn that guy over there has some nice shoes on. Why does he call himself "Nas" though? Does he rap or something?
Krazy Ivan: ...
spmack:
denisdman: man that private investigator I hired to find Curious Hair has paid dividends! now that I know what I know about the guy, I think we're going to have to bump up the % that I'd jack him in the face if i met him to 44%
redskingreg: man that andy dalton is one good looking guy, no homo.
Don Tiny:
Frank Costanza: *stubs his toe* DAMMIT BIGFAN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?!?!
Bigfan: Jesus Christ almighty why do I pay to run this place?
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Curious Hair wrote:
Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?