It is currently Mon Nov 25, 2024 10:49 am

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 108 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:27 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 11:10 am
Posts: 42094
Location: Rock Ridge (splendid!)
pizza_Place: Charlie Fox's / Paisano's
http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2014/12/15/bernstein-bears-are-a-product-in-free-fall/

By Dan Bernstein-
CBSChicago.com senior columnist

(CBS) The experts agree: It’s increasingly difficult to figure out how and where this slide ends, with every low point seemingly outdone by yet another negative turn.

“It’s anybody’s guess,” Jim Russell told CNBC. “There is sufficient momentum to the downside that it probably overshoots beyond fundamentals.”

“We haven’t seen stabilization,” Randy Frederick said to Tribune Media. “Everyone wants to know how low it can go.”

And from Bloomberg.com, here’s more pessimism from John Kilduff: “The elements … haven’t changed. The move lower should extend downward. The bottom of this move isn’t in sight yet.”

They were talking about crude oil prices in this case, but they might as well have been describing the 5-9 Bears after losing another episode of their nationally televised series that piles one embarrassing flop on top of the other, in what can only be a concerted effort to undermine their own brand. This one was 31-15, at home, to a bad Saints team on Monday night.

Consider: 92 total yards of offense in the first half, three more Jay Cutler interceptions and what had to be one of the single worst plays in the history of the NFL — a fake punt on fourth-and-3 from their own 39 that saw a direct snap to Danny McCray in the backfield. Not only was he tackled a yard short of the line to gain, but an illegal formation penalty was called when only 10 men took the field. There were the usual false starts by wide receivers, crumbled pass-protection schemes and a defense allowing more free releases than a desperate record company.

Bears were yelling at Bears after every next failure, despite coach Marc Trestman’s laughable assertion that the Aaron Kromer humiliation of last week could “bring a team together, and our team was able to capture that this week and turn it into a very positive work week for us.”

Well, obviously.

This was so bad that even ESPN broadcaster Jon Gruden – the man who LOVES EVERYTHING – was dismayed by the quality of play. Gruden, I’m sure, has had nice things to say about tornadoes (“Gotta love that kind of power that can just blast out of nowhere!”), Mad Cow Disease (“Just so effective at what it does – great, great prion!”) and John Wayne Gacy (“Really a talented clown before he made some questionable decisions.”), but even he was reduced to a sobered shake of the head.

“This has been a hard watch,” Gruden said.

His partner, Mike Tirico, called it correctly in the first quarter.

“It’s bad,” he said. “It’s bad ball, Jon.”

Later, Gruden called the Bears “lethargic, non-competitive, ugly” and said, “There’s a problem here in Chicago right now.”

That problem is deep, dark and multifaceted, and it was on display under bright lights to whatever parts of the world still care to watch. Something here is fundamentally broken and irreparable – a systemic failure crying to be put out of its misery by whatever ill-defined hierarchy of nominal upper management and ownership occasionally clots together to formulate such decisions.

It’s time to gather and talk, as it has been and will continue to be.

The price of oil has dropped largely due to expansion of extraction here in the US, with previously untapped stores trapped in shale now made available through hydraulically pressurized well-stimulation. Vast fields of previously inaccessible crude are now producing enough to influence the globe, causing panic in OPEC nations as freight trains of tankers trundle out away from the Dakotas to waiting refineries.

Those trains are moving south like the fortunes of a promising football team gone all kinds of wrong.

Distill it any way you want, but the Bears are fracking awful.

_________________
Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:30 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:28 pm
Posts: 29948
Location: SW Burbs
WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING HELL??

"The price of oil has dropped largely due to expansion of extraction here in the US, with previously untapped stores trapped in shale now made available through hydraulically pressurized well-stimulation. Vast fields of previously inaccessible crude are now producing enough to influence the globe, causing panic in OPEC nations as freight trains of tankers trundle out away from the Dakotas to waiting refineries.

Those trains are moving south like the fortunes of a promising football team gone all kinds of wrong.

Distill it any way you want, but the Bears are fracking awful."

_________________
FavreFan wrote:
Im pretty hammered right now.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:32 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2014 10:32 pm
Posts: 13865
Location: France
pizza_Place: Baranabyis
I have no idea what the fuck he is getting in the last few grafs.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:33 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2014 10:32 pm
Posts: 13865
Location: France
pizza_Place: Baranabyis
For those unaware, the further south those trains go is Whiting, IN. Most of it goes to Billings, Rawlins or Cheyenne. Not that any of it makes any sense anyways.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:39 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 11:10 am
Posts: 42094
Location: Rock Ridge (splendid!)
pizza_Place: Charlie Fox's / Paisano's
I'm convinced that not only is he writing this way to hasten the end of his writing assignments, he's also writing to match the performance level of the Bears.

_________________
Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:42 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2012 9:33 pm
Posts: 19045
pizza_Place: World Famous Pizza
How. Could. Reporters. Waste. Jay. Cutler's. Time?!?

http://deadspin.com/jay-cutler-presser- ... 1671595292

_________________
Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:36 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 2:54 pm
Posts: 17128
Location: in the vents of life for joey belle
pizza_Place: how many planets have a chicago?
SpiralStairs wrote:
How. Could. Reporters. Waste. Jay. Cutler's. Time?!?

http://deadspin.com/jay-cutler-presser- ... 1671595292


hey that deadspin article goes on to quote tweets from LOCAL AUTHORITY ADAM HOG to say that the bears didn't say over the PA system that jay cutler was taking questions, so clearly the buck has been passed to the bears for trying to bury the jay cutler presser and get him out of there without taking any heat from the legendarily rough chicago beat reporters.

next presser should be only questions about his conversion van, aka the real story of the season from training camp onwards. alls i know is that after 1yr of learning curve the bears were outright contenders (NFC championship game, 8-3 b4 cutler broke his thumb against SD, 10-6, and 8-8 with a chance to win that last game and get in the playoffs) b4 that conversion van, and now they're having their worst season since either 2007 or 2002-03. i blame the conversion van.

_________________
Curious Hair wrote:
Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 3:49 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:29 pm
Posts: 55953
pizza_Place: Barstool One Bite Frozen
spanky wrote:
WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING HELL??

"The price of oil has dropped largely due to expansion of extraction here in the US, with previously untapped stores trapped in shale now made available through hydraulically pressurized well-stimulation. Vast fields of previously inaccessible crude are now producing enough to influence the globe, causing panic in OPEC nations as freight trains of tankers trundle out away from the Dakotas to waiting refineries.

Those trains are moving south like the fortunes of a promising football team gone all kinds of wrong.

Distill it any way you want, but the Bears are fracking awful. I'm John Feinstein."

_________________
Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 8:51 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:55 pm
Posts: 3287
pizza_Place: Olde Silver Tavern, Manalapan, NJ [R.I.P.?]
I know this is what Terry would call "tall timber," but seriously, that oil stuff is some of the worst writing he's ever committed.

_________________
The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 8:56 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:29 pm
Posts: 55953
pizza_Place: Barstool One Bite Frozen
What ruins the whole thing before you even get to that Albomian atrocity at the end is that unless you own oil company stock, live in Alberta, or feast on human misery, the drop in gas prices is a good thing.

_________________
Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:01 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:55 pm
Posts: 3287
pizza_Place: Olde Silver Tavern, Manalapan, NJ [R.I.P.?]
Curious Hair wrote:
What ruins the whole thing before you even get to that Albomian atrocity at the end is that unless you own oil company stock, live in Alberta, or feast on human misery, the drop in gas prices is a good thing.


Seriously. I mean, this--

Quote:
Those trains are moving south like the fortunes of a promising football team gone all kinds of wrong.


--is so tortured, it may as well have had hummus sprayed up its ass.

"Trains carrying an essential commodity at a low price are moving south (i.e., the cardinal direction). This is similar to the Bears, a football team that is moving south (i.e., a metaphor for decline)." Writering!

_________________
The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.


Last edited by Dave In Champaign on Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:02 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 7:43 pm
Posts: 20537
pizza_Place: Joes Pizza
Dan Bernstein wrote:
That problem is deep, dark and multifaceted, and it was on display under bright lights to whatever parts of the world still care to watch. Something here is fundamentally broken and irreparable – a systemic failure crying to be put out of its misery by whatever ill-defined hierarchy of nominal upper management and ownership occasionally clots together to formulate such decisions.

So this paragraph is really weird. He repeats himself and then I think he should've said clotting. I'm a numbers guy so I could be wrong. Not a writer. I feel clot is a weird word to use there anyways.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:08 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:29 pm
Posts: 55953
pizza_Place: Barstool One Bite Frozen
No, he has the right tense of "clot," but he also has this weird mixed metaphor where there's blood that's coagulating but it's not killing a broken, suicidal object.

_________________
Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:09 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 11:10 am
Posts: 42094
Location: Rock Ridge (splendid!)
pizza_Place: Charlie Fox's / Paisano's
'Dave In Champaign' is a delightful bastard ... :lol: :lol:

_________________
Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:13 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 4:29 pm
Posts: 38695
pizza_Place: Lou Malnatis
Don Tiny wrote:
'Dave In Champaign' is a delightful bastard ... :lol: :lol:

Plus :lol: . No one can tear apart a Lil Danny screed like Dave

_________________
Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:17 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:29 pm
Posts: 55953
pizza_Place: Barstool One Bite Frozen
I know Dan can write really well when he wants to. But he has to turn shit out, and so he, well, turns shit out. You get the feeling that he writes about the agency of clotting hierarchies because he has to make sure people know that he can if he wants to.

_________________
Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:29 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 11:10 am
Posts: 42094
Location: Rock Ridge (splendid!)
pizza_Place: Charlie Fox's / Paisano's
Alright .... in other possible radio-related news .... I'm made to understand that on the Westwood One radio feed for the game last night, a Mark Malone was on the sidelines reporting that any time Kromer wanted to talk to the players last night they would all just walk away apparently putting him on the pay-no-mind list.

I haven't heard this anywhere else, though it's not difficult to believe this being true to some degree ... anyone else hear anything like this? Dan or Terry's guys see this maybe?

_________________
Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:01 pm 
Online
User avatar

Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2005 11:36 pm
Posts: 19372
Dan just retweeted the story about how Jackie Robinson West teams is mostly from the suburbs. Will he address this on air today?

_________________
Frank Coztansa wrote:
conns7901 wrote:
Not over yet.
Yes it is.


CDOM wrote:
When this is all over, which is not going to be for a while, Trump will be re-elected President.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:05 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:19 am
Posts: 23915
pizza_Place: Jimmy's Place
In an email to Little League International obtained by DNAinfo.com Chicago, a neighboring south suburban league called on Little League officials to investigate whether Jackie Robinson West engaged in “manipulating, bending and blatantly breaking the rules for the sole purpose of winning at all costs.”

SHOCKING NEWS! :lol:

_________________
Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:07 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 4:29 pm
Posts: 38695
pizza_Place: Lou Malnatis
conns7901 wrote:
Dan just retweeted the story about how Jackie Robinson West teams is mostly from the suburbs. Will he address this on air today?

Should make him happy. Sounds like the kids families just moved!!!!!

_________________
Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:08 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 21, 2008 12:13 pm
Posts: 15062
pizza_Place: Four hours away....and on fire :-(
SpiralStairs wrote:
How. Could. Reporters. Waste. Jay. Cutler's. Time?!?

http://deadspin.com/jay-cutler-presser- ... 1671595292


"You can be sure that this is going to get blown out of proportion tomorrow and occupy a football news cycle."

Maybe like, I don't know, Deadspin taking the time to write about it and linking the pointless video?

_________________
-- source


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:09 pm 
Online
User avatar

Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2005 11:36 pm
Posts: 19372
Hatchetman wrote:
In an email to Little League International obtained by DNAinfo.com Chicago, a neighboring south suburban league called on Little League officials to investigate whether Jackie Robinson West engaged in “manipulating, bending and blatantly breaking the rules for the sole purpose of winning at all costs.”

SHOCKING NEWS! :lol:



“I’ve got nothing to hide. My stuff is legit. My son has got three different homes,” Hondras said. “He goes to James Hart in Homewood. It was in Sports Illustrated.”


Upper class privilege.

_________________
Frank Coztansa wrote:
conns7901 wrote:
Not over yet.
Yes it is.


CDOM wrote:
When this is all over, which is not going to be for a while, Trump will be re-elected President.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:10 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2009 11:46 am
Posts: 26636
Location: NW SUBURBS OF CHICAGO
pizza_Place: any from anywhere
Here is radio news:

Chris Conte just said he would rather die 10-15 years earlier if it meant playing longer in the NFL.

_________________
favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:14 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:19 am
Posts: 23915
pizza_Place: Jimmy's Place
Jimmy are you just trying to piss off Don? We had a thread on that already.

_________________
Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:16 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2009 11:46 am
Posts: 26636
Location: NW SUBURBS OF CHICAGO
pizza_Place: any from anywhere
Hatchetman wrote:
Jimmy are you just trying to piss off Don? We had a thread on that already.



no,sorry,didn't see it.

_________________
favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:18 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 11:10 am
Posts: 42094
Location: Rock Ridge (splendid!)
pizza_Place: Charlie Fox's / Paisano's
jimmypasta wrote:
Hatchetman wrote:
Jimmy are you just trying to piss off Don? We had a thread on that already.



no,sorry,didn't see it.


For the record I'm not quite sure why it would piss me off ... frankly, a CTE-related note seems a reasonable thing to toss in here given the hosts' penchant for bringing up the topic.

_________________
Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:23 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 21, 2008 12:13 pm
Posts: 15062
pizza_Place: Four hours away....and on fire :-(
I wonder how many years are being subtracted from Jimmy's life for posting here.

_________________
-- source


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:07 pm 
Offline
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 10:00 am
Posts: 79559
Location: Ravenswood Manor
pizza_Place: Pete's
Hatchetman wrote:
In an email to Little League International obtained by DNAinfo.com Chicago, a neighboring south suburban league called on Little League officials to investigate whether Jackie Robinson West engaged in “manipulating, bending and blatantly breaking the rules for the sole purpose of winning at all costs.”

SHOCKING NEWS! :lol:



ALL. THAT. MATTERS. IS. WINNING. CHAMPIONSHIPS.

_________________
Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 2:38 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:55 pm
Posts: 3287
pizza_Place: Olde Silver Tavern, Manalapan, NJ [R.I.P.?]
Dan just unironically used the "hoi polloi."

_________________
The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 3:15 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2014 11:42 am
Posts: 4765
pizza_Place: Home Run Inn
I get it he's trying to compare the imploding Bears to the free-fall in oil prices, but how are the two related beyond the direction they're going? If you're going to make a comparison, have a point. One is a commodity affected by geopolitical and supply and demand factors, the other - the Bears ownership - is not affected by anything, except maybe now by the empty seats and the expected loss of tv revenues next year from the Bears not being featured Sunday and Monday night.

What Dan should have written about is the need for the McCaskeys to sell the team. That is the only answer and remedy to the organization's woes.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 108 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 11 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group