get your kids off of the fucking podium, jim. yeah it had to be weird going into your last game as 49ers coach having the news of your reaching an agreement with michigan to be an $8mil/yr coach come out the night before. hell, the writing was on the wall (if not the "personal services contract" in dan bernstein's drawer) that you were going to michigan what, 6-8 months ago? a year ago? i don't know what tampering rules in the NFL are, nor do i even know if they matter here since it's been established that you didn't have enough power to do the job you needed to do in SF, which btw was a bang up job this year, especially in that season-ender where you guys had an INSPIRATIONAL win to mess up the cardinals and not finish below .500.... FOR COACH!

you took a team that was ALREADY THERE (look at the 2011 free agent acquisitions/draft picks) and languishing under a non-coach like singletary and got them from a ~.500 team and got them to be a 13-3/11-4-1/12-4 team in weak NFCs, but you never could win a damn super bowl. oh yeah you got to one.... and so did lovie smith. but the point is that you came in and took over a criminally undercoached bunch and actually gave them quality coaching and direction and got them far enough to get their hearts torn out when it really counted (say hello to kenny williams' kid for me, will ya?) but then even tho you largely walked into a situation that was perfect for any coach with a clue and his pants on for the whole of halftime to succeed, you decided.... what? you need more personnel power? you need more money? you need ownership to anoint you as not only coach, but also as player personnel guy/spiritual adviser/personal-rasputin-to-the-york-family? i mean what the hell? maybe they couldn't pay you enough?

no matter the reason/s, the worst kept secret in the NFL was verified over the weekend and now you're out to michigan where you can be a 8mil/yr dictator. hey when your ego is saban-big that's the place for you and god bless you...

BUT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOUR KIDS DOING ON THE PODIUM?!?!?

i dont even want to hear the words you said, just the fact you brought them up there is trying to prove some sort of point about how you're "all about family", which is why when your devoted disciples like the CSFMB's very own Scorehead get asked "....gun to your head: would you?" they'd reply "save the ammo and get me a podium because the world needs to know why i'm doing this here. let's set an example for other men of extraordinary character and action"

just the fact that you've gotta bring your goddamn kids up there like you're doing this michigan thing for them.... cuz you know GOD FORBID THEY GROW UP IN/AROUND SAN FRANCISCO WITH DAD ONLY MAKING 3-4MIL/YR!!! YOU GOTTA TAKE EM TO AMERICA'S TEAT, MICHIGAN, AND HAVE DADDY MAKING 8MIL/YR SO THEY HAVE A CHANCE AT A DECENT LIFE.

i mean what the fuck else are you bringing them up there for? it's the same shit when urban meyer left florida to be with his family but after spending 10 months with them he was like "fuck this" and took over for the sweater vest at THE ohio state university. or hell maybe you quit the 49ers to focus on your family..... only to accept the michigan job the day before you were quit because you are the world-renown MAN OF ACTION that gives scorehead wood: much like hulk in the avengers your secret is that you're ALWAYS sick of your family and this allowed you to take the family-intensive sabbatical before you even could formally quit your current job because YOU'RE JIM HARBAUGH AND YOU GET THINGS DONE.

i'm so fucking glad you hitched your wagon to alex smith and a twink and got so tantalizingly close to a super bowl that you could taste it.... only to blow it to joe flacco and a wifebeater AND YOUR OWN GODDAMN LITTLE BROTHER HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH. oh that's like poetry, it rhymes man (hearkening that george lucas quote here). and good fucking riddance that your little megalomaniacial self has left the 49ers to go be the football czar at michigan. i have no doubt you'll succeed and hey maybe you'll even get a national title.... but i sure hope not. that said, i look forward to you overseeing a perennial powerhouse that gets sooooo close to championships but never wins them.

and i hope to god you have doofy little twinks as your quarterback because hey, you're mr. ANY MAN ON MY TEAM WHO PUTS HIS HANDS ON A WOMAN ISNT ON MY TEAM ANYMORE! and hey, at least we can vouch for you being a man of principles who sticks to his word as his law, because i think most people on this board know there's no chance your FRANCHISE QUARTERBACK* is ever gonna put his hands on a woman..... amirite guys?


* FRANCHISE QUARTERBACKS like kaepertwink always make wide open receivers with nobody within 5+ yards of them lunge jump and dive for horrible wounded duck passes that the little dipshit simply cannot throw. in that bears game if kaepernick could make any sort of decent throws consistently they woulda buried the bears so badly there's no 2H comeback for the beloved.... and think about that for a second: THESE GUYS HAD NOBODY WITHIN AT LEAST 5 YARDS OF THEM IN ANY DIRECTION AND YOUR QUARTERBACK WAS STILL MAKING THEM LUNGE JUMP DIVE AND TURN AROUND TO REEL IN THE BALLS! but hey, i guess if there's one thing colin knows about it's reeling in balls, amirite guys?

Beardown: NO!
Dr. Ken: why is Beardown humping my leg out of the blue?
Mitch: posting in a Beardown thread.

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-- source

Oh, blow it out your ass, Greg. This is the kind of vitriol I expect and demand on the national holiday that is Fire Everybody Day.

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you know, my second favorite musician squarepusher once had a quote in this electronic music book from the late 90s where he spoke of himself and junglists/drum-n-bass-producers respectively by saying "there are people who innovate and there are people who form groups"

you're the kind of asshole who wants to form groups. in this case you want to feel better about yourself via your 100% complete average-ness by nudging everyone like "boy that guy sure is different than us! he sucks!"

meanwhile those so-called/self-avowed innovative people? well yeah the guy who said it is a pretentious prick. kind of intense IRL so i hear, definitely not a man of low standards. prolly doesn't have a lot of friends. and in terms of LOLDRUGS is actually named square-pusher so i suppose there is that.

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I really would like to know more about what the hell happened in SF. Regardless of success he's had or failures, you had me at him having his kids at the press conference.

We can name this the Dusty Baker award and any person that does gets the douchebag title automatically.

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I dont think it was an accident his kids were there and I dont think he used the baby shield. I think he moved to a place he felt would be better for his kids to grow up in and they are going to be part of the program. They are going to be around, get used to it. The guy grew up a coaches kid, and his kids will be the same now.

I dont see him bringing his kids to pressers when its a bad loss and heeated words might be tossed around.

So, dont think it was the baby shield issue here.

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Not going to be many bad losses and I imagine they will be immediately competitive

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I'm not sure about that. The cupboard is pretty bare right now. Might take another year or two to be competitive.

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the cupboard isn't that bare. hoke has recruited well at many positions. one of the top defenses in the nation only graduating a few guys. the qb position is the tricky one.

I would be floored if he didn't have a top recruit at the position in his first recruiting class and just about every one thereafter. He will be a if not the top option for every pocket passer prospect.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Harbaugh/Meyer is going to be a thing. More than Carroll at USC even.

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Elections have consequences.

Yeah, but a true freshman pocket passer:

a). probably won't start
b). won't make them competitive if he did

When he was a hired, there was a stat that Michigan had the fewest number of commits of all P5 schools.

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That is going to change very quickly.

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CSFMB 2014 Nascar Pick 'em Champion

We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much. — Ronald Reagan

I don't see him doing that either and I'm all for his kids being around, but press conferences are different. There is ZERO value there and I find it unprofessional.

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Talent is not the problem in Michigan. It never was.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

they have 6 currently. there were about 3 or 4 decommits the last half of the season. Its likely he could have a top 20 recruiting class by the time its all said and done. i may actually watch the all american game!