does anyone here have to deal with one? i mean a real alcoholic. a guy that has been doing this for 35 years. a guy that routinely slams half a fifth of vodka just to get to sleep and then the other half in the morning just to wake up. a guy that repeats the thoughts in head his perpetually, and blames everyone else for getting annoyed by him constantly looping his interactions with them over the same things over and over. a guy that will admit he has a problem when hes 'sober', but the first whiff of a beer and hes totally justified on every complex in his mind no matter what. a guy that never goes more than a day or two without drinking, but on those days he believes he hasnt drank much in months so there is no problem and youre the emotional 32 year old teenager. a guy that is my dad and does do everything he can to help me so its not like i can just tell him to fuck off and stop speaking to me, although i actually do that and it only takes about 3 days before he forgets and is calling me again like the world is fine.

been dealing with this since i was a child. i am honestly to the point that i want to beat the absolute shit out of him just so he is forced to ask me why i did it, and my only response will be 'to save your life'.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

My older brother is an alcoholic. Been dealing with it for 25 years. I have wanted to beat his ass several times. He and I have not talked for over a year because of it. He has ruined 2 marriages. Has bad relationships with his children. It is one big fucked up mess.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

dad has been through two marriages, three kids with my mom (1st marriage), married a gold diggin bitch and another woman that was great for him recently but she had to leave him too.

hes always told me since i was a kid that he doesnt want to live to be old like grandpa, so hes drinking as much as he wants so he wont live to be old.

i have explained to him directly numerous times that if he wants to do that he cant be around me, but he doesnt remember the conversation the next day

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I know exactly what you mean Ike. I have been through that conversation many times. My brother will call me at 2 or 3 am and leave me these long voicemails cussing me up one side and down the other. Then he dont remember anything of it and denies it ever happened. Then he whines to me that I am not a very good brother. I guarantee you right now he could not tell you how many children I have or what their names are. I bet he would be lucky to even know the name of the town I live in.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

exactly. no matter how many times you tell him he has a problem, and no matter how much you do to be nice and help him, he always turns around and blames you. it is the definition of insanity

the biggest problem with my dad is he is, somehow, still a functional alcoholic. he has managed to run a business, albeit a mechanic shop so all he does is bark on the phone, play around on ebay and make everyone else do everything for him.

but thats the problem. he does support himself and he does help me out anytime i ask him to (used to be financially, but i refuse to take his money as of 10 years ago).... its not like i can just write him off because he is there when i need him most.

its really my fault though. as much as i hate it, i need to disown him. not legally, but i need to just flat out stop answering the phone and refuse to ever be around him. i dont want to, but there simply isn't anything else i can do.

what sucks is i knew this 14 years ago. i knew at age 18 i couldn't deal with it anymore, and i told him i was moving out of state. that was when he bought a house and offered to give it to me at a price that was less than half of anything else i was going to find. i didn't want to do it, but my plan to 'move out of state' was really to be homeless. i am not joking, i had already 'run away' at 17 but was lucky enough to crash with friends for a year... until a judge forced me to live with my dad once my mom called me in missing. that was when i told dad i was moving away the moment i was 18. but even he knew if i moved away i was screwed and living in a tent under a freeway. so i took his offer thinking i was doing the smart thing.

over the next 10 years i spent working on that house. not going out, not talking to girls.. and working full time construction to pay the mortgage, tools i didnt have and needed, and parts for the house. i took a house valued at $18k when we bought it and turned in into a $60k fair market value. tried to sell it in 08. yes, fall of 08. it did not sell because of the market crash, so i rented it out to a guy for a year, but of course he fell behind on 3 months of payments, and the moment i told him to leave he destroyed the house... literally destroyed my decade of work. my lawyer flat told me, we would win the case but he doesn't have money and i would be stuck with $6k in legal fees.

that was when i filed for foreclosure and bankruptcy and this is where i still am.. with nothing. no kids, no wife, no place of my own, but worked full time since i was 18. never gave up and never will.

but none of that matters. i don't care a bit, because my dad is an alcoholic

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I listen to Spiegal on the radio sometimes, does that count as dealing with an alcoholic?

Well played.

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

7 am. "Matt's Big Breakfast" at Sky Harbor.

Dude next to us just ordered a don't double bloody Mary.

Maybe it helps him fly?

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Calms the nerves and takes the edge off.

More pilots do it than you may realize.

Some swear by it and admit they fly better.

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"This is Chicago, my friend. Anything can happen."

Every generation, blames the one before...

It does matter. Everything matters.

There are two crippling behaviors that come part and parcel with alcoholism. Victimization and the incessant need for control.

It's hard, but you can make the choice to stop answering the phone. I take that back, it's the hardest thing that you may ever have to do. If you are able to start there, then you have taken the first step toward getting out of the culture of victimization.

When you are able to do that, you will be able to see yourself differently. You will have a more proper context of who you are as human being. You are obviously a talented and thoughtful guy about many different things based upon what you post here. Take that first step and stick with it. You will see your life start to change.

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it just sucks though. hes not a mean drunk per say... hes not violent, hes actually always happy. but a retarded happy. so much to the point that its extremely annoying, and when people get pissed off at him for it thats when he victimizes them saying how mean they are to him.

he used to be a really smart guy. i dont think a whole lot of his brain is left though.. his employees say its turned to applesauce

also, i dont have much problem with my life besides him. im looking for a new job right now, so thats a bit stressful, but also exciting because this time i don't really have any obstacles. not in debt, nothing on my criminal or driving record, no marijuana in my system in the last 2 months, and my resume is richer than it ever has been. ill get a good job, just sucks going through the process.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

speigs is not an alcoholic though. even if he is a heavy drinker, he is FAR FAR FAR from alcoholism.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I sucks to watch any human being destroy themselves. Especially when it's a loved one doing it.

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yup

its just amazing they dont even realize it. the guy sweats just standing for too long, and even his lifelong friend asked him yesterday "why are you sweating?" dad replies 'im just standing here. getting old is rough' his friend is older than he is. also the same guy who got pissed off at dad a few months ago because last year dad swore to him he stopped drinking after a heart to heart talk with the guy. he told me "your dad flat out lied to my face, that is bullshit, i knew him before you were born" and i just told him "i know. its really your fault for asking him to stop drinking. hes not going to stop until hes dead"

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

helps them fall asleep faster once the plane is in the air.

Don't know about Spiegel, but someone linked to his wifey's twitter account a few months back and it was all day drinking and hungover from going out drinking and can't wait to have a drink. Good couple.

hey whatever works and they arent hurting anyone

problem with my dad is his alcoholism has hurt everyone he is close to his whole life

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Yeah, I doubt either Spiegel or his wife are actual alkies, For one thing, real alkies usually don't talk about or celebrate their drinking; as it's just a necessary part of their existence, like air or water for the rest of us. No one ever says "man, that was a really awesome breath I just took".

Sorry about your dad, dude. Have you looked into ayahuasca to help him?

http://www.laweekly.com/news/ayahuasca- ... ut-4137305

DING DING DING he always hides it as much as he can, and he thinks if nobody saw him actually drink a beer than he didnt actually drink one.

he runs his auto service drunk all the time. customers say it stinks like beer in there, but they go back because they know hes not touching their car and the service is the cheapest in rockford.

he wouldnt go for hallucinogens. it wouldnt help anyway, he doesn't have a problem in his eyes... and every few years he will stop for like 3 months so he thinks he can stop whenever he wants. and everyone comes to me and says WOW your dad stopped drinking! i just calmly tell them 'no, hes just taking a break', and sure enough, SLAM hes full bore shitfaced everyday again.

the only thing that is going to stop him is death. its such a sad existence, he hasnt matured since his 20's. just yesterday two 15 year old girls walk by on the street (they always do around here) and as im talking to him he turns and stares at them with his mouth open-- not listening a fucking word i was saying. he says 'god, damn... hey theres a lot of pretty girls around here, you just need to look around'. i reply, "dad, those girls are young enough to be my daughters." and he replies "so you still have a better chance than i do". i feel so ashamed to be related to him at that point i just stop talking and walk away.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I worked on a tree-farm one summer during college. Started out digging holes with a shovel and dropping saplings in, maintaining the trees on the farm, etc. Basic manual labor tasks. The owner had a couple of other odd-job flunkies and then he had some dude who had been driving the "tree spade" for maybe a decade. He had started working on the tree farm during college himself and eventually learned how to drive the tree-spade and so after he graduated he'd kept on driving the tree-spade on weekends and a few nights a week. Pretty much a decent weather only thing (April/May til Sep/Oct).

Couple weeks into me working there, the tree-spade driver breaks his leg sliding into second base playing softball.

I think I was maybe 20 or 21 at the time. Owner-operator dude found out I had been in the Army and drove deuce-and-a-halfs and various large machinery prior to that. So he taps me to take over driving the tree-spade:



I'm like, seriously? Cool. I'll drive it. But then I asked the other flunkies why didn't the owner-operator himself ever drive the tree spade. They say:he's ok first thing in the morning, but he drinks a case of beer a day, so by the time he gets back with the first dirt-wad, he'd be DUI'ing.

We'd have to go to the site and use the spade to dig the hole and then drive the spade back to the tree farm, dump the huge dirt-wad, pull the tree with the tree-spade at the farm, go back to the site and "plant it".

Owner-operator drove a chevy pickup with a camper on it all the time. Bed of that truck was covered in empty beer cans. He'd keep half the case in a cooler in the cab and toss the empties into the back via the little sliding window that separated them. Bonus: he had a hottie latina wife with tourettes

'Have a seat, cookie?'
\

1 case before the game, 1 after

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

not considered performance enhancing when youre the only one that thinks it makes you play better

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

you can't you just be nice to him?

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

I watched my Mom and Dad both struggle with this disease. Dad is 75 in nursing home looks like he is 90. Drank till he had a stroke and could not physically lift a can or bottle anymore. Mom quit 10 years ago after heart attack almost killed her. 68 and looks like 80 years old. Marlboros and Kools did not help either. Sucks to see and watch. Not much you can do Ike. Everyone makes their own choices in life. Feel bad for you.

((((IkeSouth))))

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I follow where my mind goes...

Not much I can add other than I feel horrible about your situation. Working with a professional would be ideal, but it sounds like you're too short on cash to realistically do that unless it's a volunteer setup.

One of my friends does volunteer hot-line work in Scotland, albeit in suicide prevention. It's incredibly tough work, but she has the personality to pull it off. In the US, most of what I could find online through some basic searches seems to be trying to figure out if they can bill your insurance or stick you in a 12-step program. Crap.

What is your support network? What do you fall back on when you have to deal with him when he's drunk? Friends? Other relatives?

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

Lots of vodka....lots and lots of vodka.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

My older brother did a lot of partying with Trout.

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trout always seemed gay. is he gay? not that there's anything wrong with that.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest