No Clever Moniker wrote:
I used to think anybody who could cut a fart that would clear the back of a moving charter boat was unbelievable. Then I met a guy who would take shits that would leak out of the bathroom and clear a portion of the bar. One time he went, the bathroom was unusable and you couldn't go near the jukebox (since relocated) without getting ill. Management admonished him about his situation, so he goes back in for a reload. Shit you not. One time I was pissing when he hit the stall, the stench made my eyes water and forced a little bile up into my throat. But it was the sound, that massive sound of a sphincter opening and assorted liquids and solids being released under pressure into the toilet. Never forgot that, never went near any bathroom he had visited within the past hour. Told him he needed to see a doctor about the live organisms encamped in his intestines.
That's my buddy, Erik. He shows up to bowling with a huge grin on face, and he goes straight for the bathroom. After he destroys one of the stalls, you can't even walk past the bathrooms, without getting the urge to vomit.