It's summer construction season and that means its time for all these assholes to come out of the woodwork. You're driving down the road and a sign ahead tells you that the road will merge to a single lane in a mile, except about a half mile before the merge some asshole has parked his car in the right lane. Now instead of allowing people to actually, you know, merge, traffic forced into a single lane well before the actual merge point.

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My civil engineering buddies actually said they were taught that the most efficient use of traffic flow is for the merging to happen at the last possible minute.

Not sure if it is true or not. I'm sure Seacrest has done some civil engineering work in his life so he can tell us that he knows the real answer.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

The ones that annoy me are the drivers who after seeing what is going on switch lanes to the merged lane to fly up a few more spots and have to merge in again. Like those 3 extra spots up are really going to make them get going any faster

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

I fucking loathe those people who wait until the last possible second, as it further gums up the works, and penalizes those who did the proper thing.

Denied LOUDLY.

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Not a mult.

I am with the Meatball.

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

Properly?????? What the fuck do you mean "properly"? The proper way is to use both lanes until you can't. Why would we make things slower by abandoning a perfectly good stretch of road a half mile before we have to? If people didn't act like savages and took turns from each lane, there wouldn't be a problem.

My wife is one of those people that moves right immediately upon seeing the sign and I've had this argument with her many times.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Maybe your engineering buddy can explain to you how insurance works.

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If the road is open why not use that stretch of road? You've seen how long that line of cars gets because everyone thinks they are doing the right thing by merging a mile before they have to. The people gumming up the works are ones merging before they have to.

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Switching off the Ryan and onto the Ike, I used to laugh my ass off at the "proper" folks who immediately jump into the Eisenhower entry "lane" south of Roosevelt and go 5-10 mph for the next six blocks.

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

Yeah, usually because the assholes rushing toward the merge are the ones CAUSING the slowdown.

Think of it like using a funnel.

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Not a mult.

The "proper" method is supposed to be the zipper method, but most people don't do it right.

If the right lane is ending, driving in the right lane until it ends and then sitting there, stopped, waiting to be let in is not the zipper method. Everyone lining up in the left lane 4 blocks before the right lane ends isn't exactly efficient, either.

Zipper Method:
http://www.dot.state.mn.us/zippermerge/

With video:
http://arstechnica.com/cars/2014/07/the ... ive-ruder/

Exactly, but they don't, hence my point.

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Not a mult.

Troof.

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Not a mult.

I leave the ass of my vehicle in the end lane so as to block these dickheads...

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GOB: "My God, what is this feeling?"
Michael: "Could it be love?"
GOB: "I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's... it's like my heart is getting hard."

cluv, I dont want to see you falling in with the wrong crowd (early mergers)

I like to initate the merge at an appropriate time, not coming too early or too late...I call it the sweet spot

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GOB: "My God, what is this feeling?"
Michael: "Could it be love?"
GOB: "I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's... it's like my heart is getting hard."

Going 5 or 10 mph?

You must have been going through late at night.

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I have found that the groups with the least amount of social power are the most protective of their lanes when I try to merge

Women are at the top of the list. I cannot create a socio economic theory with them as a test group because it may just be that they suck at driving

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Spiral, I cannot support you enough. Words can't express how much this angers me. My last trip to see my family (southern IL), these fucking hicks in a huge pickup truck straddled both lanes for the final mile+. They even sideswiped me (with our 1-month old in the backseat) when I signaled and tried passing when the lane was open. Fucking idiots. Let's purposely double the time it takes to approach and pass through the construction zone. You've incensed me again!

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-- source

Wisconsin drivers are thoroughly flummoxed by the concept of merging, along with the idea that you don't have to follow exactly what the speed limit sign says. 65? Oh yah bedder goe 64 den.

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The worst was when I was cruising along at 45-50 in the open-for-the-next-mile left lane, while the right lane was completely full, when some woman pulls her truck in front of me, in all of her proud cunthood. I literally had to slam on my brakes, Schuster. Fucking bitch.

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-- source

Similarly, I see the same people walking very slowly and inhibiting the movement of other people in the grocery store, malls, parking lots, public gatherings, etc. I think, as you said, they feel powerless in their own lives and feel that one of the only ways they can exercise power over anyone is by this (childish, IMHO) display.

Is this why you criticize me for not dinging my bell while biking at Busse?

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-- source

If the person I'm passing in behind the line and doesn't seem likely to cross the line I usually don't think it's necessary to say "On your left" or ring a bell. If I'm about to pass two or more people and one is over the line, even a little bit, I always say something because I don't trust them.

Wait...was this when we were each riding our own bikes or when were riding the Hello Kitty-themed bicycle built for two?

if life were an ibm commercial an ITS highway would automatically merge our cars for us keeping speed as high as possible.

fuck you and waiting in line btw, stay in the closed lane as long as possible, find a slow moving semi and cut in front of it

it happens here on the 74 bridge onto iowa all the time. state troopers will pull you over if you block both lanes. i always drive until i can't because its what you are supposed to do. i always get let in. i also always let people in if i'm in the 1 open lane. it drives people absolutely BANANAS.

Billy gets it. The semi technique is a good one. I do not understand assholes who don't let others in. My rule is to always let at least 1 fellow motorist in.

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CSFMB 2014 Nascar Pick 'em Champion

We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much. — Ronald Reagan

The line-cutters and early mergers are equally responsible for backups, but only after everything has gone to shit. If traffic is still moving and you see the merge sign just merge then. Get everyone lined up while traffic is flowing so its seamless.

The proper way to clear these jams is for someone to plug the lane that is closing while pacing a car in the open lane. Works even better if you have it worked out for them to let you in. Once there's nobody left merging the open lane will speed up and a zipper merge can carry for about 5 or 6 cars before somebody fucks its up and you have to start over. It's quite a bit faster than people forcing each other and slamming brakes at the last possible second.

When I see assholes trying to speed past those merging vehicles to grab a spot ahead of them, I enjoy blocking their path and denying them the opportunity.

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Go Cubs!!!!