so hey i don't see one of these for the forthcoming 15-16 european football[-proper] season, so what the hell let's do it again with way less blabber!

as the topic suggests, manchester united is busy buying everyone and their mom to get ready for the upcoming season. here's a look at their possible starting XI for 2015-16:



and uhhh let's see.... city added raheem sterling for big giant $$$$ and tried to woo paul pogba like they had a chance. chelsea is pretty chill thus far but they're always liable to do something. arsenal added petr cech from chelsea but now it's sleepytime aside from the annual "hey we really want karim benzema" thing (i saw someone provide links from 2015 all the way back to 2007 of various stories saying arsenal is interested in Lyon/RealMadrid striker karim benzema) and uhhhh yeah hey liverpool has gone and added not just the brazilian wildcard firmino but also a 32.5mil striker in christian benteke!

and hey even crystal palace is splashing some cash and maybe that promo piece alexandre pato's agent ran in the daily mail will work and they can get a still-25-years-young once-!!!!!-striker to add to the ranks and effectively replace the ajax-bound yaya sanogo? viva pardew!

and oh yeah barca and buyern will continue their "football death star" things while united is like "HEY ADIDAS PAYS US 200MIL/YR SO WE CAN TOTALLY BUILD A DEATH STAR!!!! HELL WE'LL BUILD TWO IF WE WANT!!!!! 30MIL + DE GEA OR 20MIL + DI MARIA, THAT WILL GET US A DEATH STAR RIGHT?!?!?!

but yeah hey enough of my season-long preview..... what do you think? how long does rafa last @ real madrid? ronaldo's already screaming at him for the "hit the crossbar b4 you go" drill so this is bound to end well, especially with the rampant rumors that bale is gonna move more centrally and the whole offense is gonna be revolving around him. that should sit great with cristiano!

comm shield august 2nd? man oh man where does the time go. it cant get here soon enough!

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Not sure what to make about Chelsea bringing in Falcao on loan since he crapped the bed at ManYoo. They let Cech go to Arsenal and sign Asmir Begovic from Stoke and he came on for Courtois and let in 4 goals against NYRB. Oy Vey!!!

holy shit i forgot about falcao!!!! then again so did just about everyone outside of bitter manutd supporters last year.

i actually loved it when LvG was on the team bus with falcao and told him "hey we pay you a lot of money so why dont you get off the bus and go sign autographs for the fans outside?" --- between that and having a go with the reserve team, a fire was lit under falcao's ass to go forth and have that wonderful assist to rooney against swansea or whoever it was in that one 645am matinee game. other than that tho.... *farting noise*

but hey, to prove that he's obviously 100.0% about winning trophies first and foremost: falcao is taking a ~50% paycut (260k/week to 130k/week) to go to chelsea and fight for his future with diego costa (the guy who replaced him @ atletico madrid.... lol!) and of course the oft-forgotten loic remy (who might as well be interchangeable with wilfried bony at this point, except if city actually goes forth and sells dzeko and then shrugs off jovetic like they did negredo the year b4, well sheeeeeit my little bony could have his moment in the sun when aguero has one of his bi/tri-annual hamstring injuries. he should be at least 1-2 notches more active than good ol bacary sagna, who i think is getting paid ~130-150k/week to basically sit on the bench and be the third choice RB. good gig if you can swing it.... ask fabian delph!

anyways i should cease and desist all talking about the upcoming premier league season because it's over.... and allah be praised my team, arsenal, is gonna win it all because STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE (....which means i'm clearly unstoppable =) but arsenal has a massive 50.. no 100.... no 150.... OH HELL NO A 200MIL TRANSFER KITTY!!!!! and they can go get ANYONE they want outside of ronaldo and messi! three or four big massive buys and the league title is >ours, gents!

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so arsenal wins the community shield on a fantastic first half goal by alex oxlade-chamberlain, but more importantly i lucked out into a brilliant screencap of the scoreboard's 1-0 score fading into a dejected mourinho face...

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Fuck you bro. Just on the strength of Der Kommissar he lives on.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

EPL fantasy league coming up soon.

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Ба́бушка гада́ла, да на́двое сказа́ла—то ли до́ждик, то ли снег, то ли бу́дет, то ли нет.

People like Mourinho and Belichick are 2 of the best at their jobs, but they're both total asswipes.
Neither of them ever seem happy. Don't get it.
hashtag fuckChelsea
hashtag fuckNewEnglandPatriots

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

regarding arsenal's suckfest on sunday, this poster on 4chan's /arse/ rolling thread said it better (and likely more concisely) than i could:



and i agree with that as i've been calling arsenal mental midgets since i started watching them every match. 20/20 hindsight says that the preseason treble (barclay's asia league trophy, emirates cup trophy, community shield trophy) and all of the media hype almost-defaulting them to 2nd/3rd place (cuz the pundits/experts don't necessarily wanna go that far out on a limb on whether manutd is officially "back" at perennial champion/contender level yet, and since manchester city only really overpaid for sterling with the oldest team in the prem nobody was in a hurry to say they'd be champs/2nd but at the same time nobody wanted to write them off since the squad has so much quality) so that basically leaves arsenal and chelsea, and since arsenal is basically trotting out the same squad that evolved out of a side that has underachieved since the 03-04 invincibles (and one could argue that even the 03-04 invincibles underachieved since they lost in the CL semis in a year when mourinho's porto won it, and its not like they rattled off a double or anything) --- yeah, shit, only one token person out of ~15 experts/journos/pundits @ the daily mail had arsenal winning the league.

but yeah, this is what arsenal is. a bunch of mental midgets (plus alexis sanchez) who theoretically have the potential to stay healthy and get really good and win it all (and maybe even have a crazy run in the CL like juve/monaco did last year) but of course injuries, meltdowns, and underachieving leads to the cries of "same ol arsenal" and another opening day result that hearkens the 2013-14 season lidlifter that was a 1-3 loss to aston villa @ the emirates.... of course that 13-14 team would go on to lead the prem for most of the first/2013 half of the season (i still remember a gerard deulofeu goal putting everton ahead 2-1 in the 2H @emirates and giroud hitting post in the waning seconds... and at that point a 3pt performance would have put them something like 9 or 10pts clear atop the premier league table, as it was they had to stay at 6 or 7 clear and we all know how that turned out, right man city fans?)

but who knows? i never go into any season thinking arsenal is the prohibitive favorites for anything other than some sort of failure wrought from mental midgetude and for all the potential there is for them to win the prem or CL there's an equal or likely greater chance for them to screw it all up and end up playing on thursdays next fall (europa league, aka 5th-6th place in the prem) --- you never know with arsenal, and while i'll feel the pain from this loss as i duck the daily mail sports section and /arse/ for a lot of the week.... still, at least they have a chance to do something big every year, which as fans of other sides will let me know is something i shouldn't take for granted.

so when they lose 1-3 @ crystal palace this saturday that's when i should really panic, right? maybe this year's benzema rumors have something to them cuz they're gonna give RM 50mil, right? =D

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You know I was actually thinking this might be Arsenal's year. One loss isn't the end of the world but that was bad. Oh and this is Liverpool's year. Until it isn't and which point next season will be.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

Palace actually started with a win. Instead of sitting in the drop zone until Boxing Day and firing the manager and going on a tear that leaves them safely mid table like the last few years, they'll probably do the opposite and get relegated this year.

oh man that's a masterful low-level troll re: "arsenal's year" and all that.... as an admittedly newschool arsenal fan i can tell you that no year is technically their year unless you can go get tony adams, lee dixon, nigel winterburn, martin keown, and all the boys arsene inherited from that vintage "core four" defensive line back in the 90s. that said, liverpool gets back to back monday games so we'll see you lot a week from tomorrow.... will it be nigh time to #UnleashFirmino? hrmmmmm



mannnn KD, alain pardeux had you guys set to where i think you could have gotten a result today (read: points, aka a draw or a win) and it would have been deserved. idk if it's teams stepping up to play the games of their season against arsenal or if arsenal has been that lackluster to start the season (i'll go 40/60 respectively)

anyways i'm glad in this final ~30min buildup to city/chelsea i didnt hear anything about taht chelsea team doctor. you know its bad when you get a rare friday fixture that happened to have man united and as you put on the NBCSN coverage at 1:30 its like FIRST THINGS FIRST LET'S GET TO THE NEWS OF THE WEEK..... and it's all eva all the time!

its like people in london/the-world havent seen a hot 40 year old before... and she happens to be team doctor so #KindOfReallyAPrettyFuckingBigDeal, you know?

hopefully this city/chelsea is a cracker of a game cuz that manutd game set up my weekend to go by real slow, yesterday's games were kinda bleh (tho watching the spuds going out and spudding it up and snatching defeat from the jaws of victory to let 2-0 become 2-2 = priceless cuz HEY JACK WILSHERE, WHAT DO WE THINK OF TOTTNUMB?!?! =)

godspeed gents... and fair play to your boys CP, KD..... i really think they looked worthy of a result and i think pardew should keep them out of a relegation battle this season. maybe if you absolutely max out you push for that 2nd europa league spot? i'd be all for it.

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arsenal's kits are looking more and more like quidditch.

yeah i dont fancy the new 15-16 home kits.... i'm not much a fan of the sleeves or the collar.... fortunately i dont think any of these kitmakers are gonna sit on a design for more than 1 year nowadays (much like arsenal's last nike kit was from 2012-2014) so if you dont like it try next year. i've still got my CHAMBERS/21 14-15 home kit with the futiristic design and that name/# to either be ahead of any trend or to have a laughable conversation piece down the road (kind of like when i did the FA cup final at the globe suffice to say i was the only dude there in a BENTLEY/37 02-04 invincibles-era kit... which now has good luck cuz i decided to rock it for the second half this last week and yeah, sheeeeeeit)

that said, big match with the scouse next monday cuz while we can say arsenal dropping points isnt the death knell with chelsea starting to have those mourinho-year-3 issues and nobody fancying city, and of course only token ppl wanna go out on a limb and pick manutd for anything (and god if you're listening, plz leave them with rooney as the no doubt #1 central striker.... he can count to potato you know! legendary workrate/shift vs aston villa on friday!!!! and to think i wanted him a cpl years ago when moyes was licking his ass and bumping him up to 300ney status (~300k/week supposedly with a clause to remain manutd's highest paid player during the length of the contract)

ahem. but yeah i came here today cuz i saw this bit of stuff on that chelsea mourinho-year-3 melo/drama and i had to post this here; this is from the guardian.,...

---

Chelsea’s official website appears to have followed the lead of the manager, José Mourinho, after he claimed his team’s 3-0 defeat at Manchester City was “completely fake” by publishing a match report suggesting the game’s decisive moment was not Vincent Kompany’s header to make it 2-0 but Ramires’s “goal” being “incorrectly” ruled out for offside.

“A Ramires goal incorrectly ruled out for offside with Man City a goal ahead changed the complexion of this early-season Premier League fixture,” the first paragraph of the report read, adding that “an errant offside flag denied us a deserved leveller”.

The match report also aired some strong views about City’s defending against Diego Costa. “Kompany cynically scythed Diego Costa down to earn the game’s first booking,” it read, adding Fernandinho’s yellow card for an aerial challenge on Diego Costa was “brutish” and insinuating that Eliaquim Mangala “resorted to WWE-style tactics to stop the ever-dangerous Diego Costa getting free down the right” later in the game.

After the game Mourinho said: “If the 1-0 was a doubtful result at minute 70, 3-0 is completely fake. At 1-0 Chelsea were the best team for the whole second half. They make a change because they feel 1-0 is in danger and we concede a second goal. If 1-1 [it’s] a different story, their team is in trouble.”

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I don't troll, Herr Lips. My feeling is that with the inactivity of Chelsea and City in the transfer market (and the relative ages of their rosters), Arsenal are in a good position to challenge.

P.S. It's still Liverpool's year.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

mourinho just had another one of those signings where it seemed like an inevitability that a player was going to one of his rivals but then at the last second chelsea swoops in and lands the player.

in 2013 it was willian, who i think was already in london for a medical with tottnumb hotspur when chelsea/ho-say came a-callin' and sent AVB a clear message that if chelsea wants any of the players they're targeting that they're going to get them.... of course i thought willian was just a statement signing but IIRC he pretty much ended up being a starter right away and then was a starter for last season's PL winning season.

this time around the player is pedro and the other team was manutd, but i don't get the vibe that ho-say/chelsea were pulling a "know your place" with manutd as much as they're growing bored of willian/ramires and cuadrado has been 27mil worth of crap since they got him in january (and he can be yours on loan! brenton where you at?) and now they can slot pedro in that attacking/front line with hazard and uhhhh i guess willian at #10? maybe oscar? definitely not schurrle and de bruyne.... but yeah regardless they want another cromulent threat on the wing behind costa so there you go.

anyways i think other euro leagues start this weekend (la liga i'm looking at you) which means i should get some huddy in b4 monday's epic tilt where the scousers visit london.

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jesus watching manutd is a chore. i was up bright and early for the 6:45 kickoff but i couldnt help but fall asleep even after a coffee/dpubleshot-NRG-drink.

twitter ITKs are claiming arsenal rented a gulfstream to bring in benzema for a monday/tuesday medical with a tuesday/wednesday unveiling. and one of the guys confirming the gulfstream says that arsenal hasnt had a 35mil GBP bid for gotze rejected yet!

...and to think i'd be happy with aubameyang!

and that same guy (@alexisdun85 if you wanna see an exercise in talking out of your arse) says that reus to RM is happening and that RM also wants lewandoowski. *twilight zone theme*

i'm almost afraid to check and see what hes claiming today

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YNWA!!!!! Come on REDS..........sod off, Sini.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

You will never choke alone...

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Boyd, you put the Arse in Arsenal....

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

I try

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IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY...Palace currently in a UEFA spot. Ha. Haha.

Arsenal looked like shit the 1st half (I missed the 2nd). I'll take the draw.

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Much better in the second half. It was a really entertaining 0-0 draw.

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And Palace wins at Stamford Bridge. Fuck off Chelsea and Mourinho, maybe blame the medical staff again.

Also

BREAKING: It is no longer LIverpool's year. Until next August...YNWA.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

[too much arsenal gonna arsenal bullshit from sir talkstoomuch, esq]



who's that guy? why does he look so sad? is he the lynchpin of this team or something? he's your backup #10 FFS! so just to accomodate him you'd slot him @ CM (where his lack of size/pace/stamina/raw-marking-ability certainly won't be a hinderance) which means that ramsey has to go up to RW if he plays, which means that either theo or giroud gets benched? so you're going to adversely affect no less than 3 positions in your XI just because you HAVE to have santi freaking cazorla on the field?

here's what i'd trot out

cech
bellerin - gabriel - kosc - monreal
ramsey - coquelin
walcott - ozil - sanchez
giroud

IT'S NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE ARSENE!

SINCERELY,

LORD PLASTIC OBE, CO-OWNER OF THE ARSENAL BOTTLING CO, LTD.
`

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The problem is that Arsene wants it to be rocket science. He tries to be too conservative and defend, like he's still playing to tie when he has some outstanding attacking weapons at his disposal. Ozil and Sanchez are the absolute real deal, and when they get loose, they make things happen.

I have a hard time trusting Giroud as a true striker, Welbeck's isn't healthy, and they couldn't pull the trigger on Benzema...this squad is built to finish 3rd, and win the FA cup again. They need to just keep their damn head above water and not play down to the competition.

Maybe something can happen in the January transfer window, but I'm not holding my breath.

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Stoke is not good at really anything.

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Kind of described Chelsea's season so far.

Back 4 old and bad. I'm looking at you Branislav Ivanovic.

Fabragas bad. Costa bad.