Dusty Rhodes.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Hulk Hogans Entrance music.

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He said he knew of him because of his appearance in Rocky III as Thunderlips. Otherwise Hulk Hogan himself would be on this list.

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you know, upon reflecting on this thread's title i couldn't help but think that the title wouldn't be too out of place on a howard stern messageboard talking about the "List of things Howard has never heard of" (which is prolly mostly bullshit because howard desperately wants to come off as aloof/can't-be-arsed like he's still "kind of really a PRETTY FUCKING BIG DEAL, YOU KNOW" who transcends the latest pop culture sensations/fads/etc because he's HOWARD FUCKING STERN and he revolutionized radio when he was pretty damn good at it in the 90s.... btw did you know i've got a book coming out soon? plz go see my movie.... listen to the craziness that happened on the set just yesterday!)

but yeah, hey, if howard has taught me anything it's that someday bernstein will eventually be an irrelevent caricature-of-himself who desperately tries to cling on to his past status as a prominent voice in the chicago sports media scene as he slowly but surely fades into obscure irrelevance hosting his mid-day show on WSCR HD-3 / 670thescorepodcasts.com. all the while terry is still paid 1.5mil/yr to lend his voice to a soundboard that just plays pre-recorded bits of mumbling and rubberstamping everything dan says.

and they'll eventually be replaced by hologram david "kap-man" kaplan, who is of course the back to back defending "hologram father of the year", who simply reads from a script approved by a conglomeration of the major-team-mainframe-computer-AIs along with a few top advertisers, tho of course hologram kapman always punctuates his "scathing rebukes" of the chicago sports scene with his trademark phrase "HEY I'M JUST TELLIN IT LIKE IT IS. THANKS FOR WATCHING"

naturally, by the year ~2035 all chicago sports media anchors/radio-personalities/talking-heads/holograms/etc will all be some variations of the original david "kap" kaplan. you remember how in demolition man it was said that taco bell won the fast food wars so now all restaurants are taco bell? same thing for david "kappy" kaplan; he was chosen by all the major players atop the media corporations in chicago and his choice was accepted by the teams, so now in the year 2037 all chicago sports media figures are david kaplan...... the way god intended it, which is rather remarkable if you think about it cuz god was pretty chuffed that he lost out to both the original david "kappapalooza" kaplan and hologram david "kapacalypse now" kaplan for the coveted "[hologram] father of the year" awards cuz you know, HIS kid did that whole "dying for our sins" thing so i mean that's one well-raised kid, right? *BUZZER* WRONG!!!!!! david kaplan's kids get to go to the lockerroom with daddy and see derrick rose 5 times a year, and everybody loves them in the luxury boxes so someone give that man 2 father of the year awards out of principle. being a dad who gives his dying son a kidney or being a dad who sacrifices a lucrative artistic career to take on menial jobs to make 100.0% sure that he can provide for his kid, or raising a kid who died for our sins? pfft that's nothing.... kap's kids got to meet derrick rose FIVE TO TEN TIMES this year. luxury boxes. dad's at work from 6am-10pm every day so they dont actually have to see the asshole on the average day.... that's your father of the year!

oh yeah and let's not forget that fathers of the year do amazing things like golf with michael jordan, so whenever their kids are being picked on at school they can be like "WELL HEY YOU KNOW MY DAD PLAYED GOLF WITH MICHAEL JORDAN, RIGHT?!?!" and the bullies will go "OH MY GOD HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU'RE AWESOME.... CAN I SEE WHAT YOUR FARTS SMELL LIKE BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SMELL THE FARTS OF GREATNESS" and now they'll have not just BFFs for life, but they'll also have budding friendships with a complete benefit plan as homosexuality is fully rolled out in the coming decade/s as the socially progressive and FUCKING SUPERRRRR, THANKS FOR ASKING! wing of the eugenics movement. that kind of veritable social american express black card = why kaplan is father of the year over those one-kidneyed assholes and that pompous "god shammgod" dipshit. god might have done many things once (cuz his lazy ass sure aint answering prayers en masse nowadays, can i get an amen?!) but he hasnt golfed with michael jordan. he is no david "kappamania runnin wild" kaplan, that's for sure.

THIS WHOLLY UNNECESSARY AND DEFINITELY SCORN/RIDICULE-WORTHY TLDRFEST OF A POST BROUGHT TO YOU BY..... BOREDOM! spend a lot of time giving care in wholly omnipresent caregiving format and holy shit when you get a few minutes for the first time in ~2 weeks, next thing you know you'll be spoiling the surprise of hologram david "kap*.* aka anything but just -lan" kaplan before you know it!

* drops mic and gulps realizing the venue is prolly gonna stick him with a $100-300 bill to replace that mic *

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i always imagine sini typing hunt-n-peck style at 5 words per minute.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I heard this listening to Friday's podcast yesterday and almost lost my mind...he grew up in the 80's and claims he only knew the Hulkster from RockyIII? Has he never seen NO HOLDS BARRED!?! Bernsie is really becoming a clown...

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GOB: "My God, what is this feeling?"
Michael: "Could it be love?"
GOB: "I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's... it's like my heart is getting hard."

I hate that. These pee-shy motherfuckers. You can't take a piss next to another man? And it would have been pretty cool if you had broken the hands of all Tortoise members so they could no longer play their instruments.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Queuing up TNT now just to spite you.

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Rowdy Rowdy Piper...RIP wild man

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GOB: "My God, what is this feeling?"
Michael: "Could it be love?"
GOB: "I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's... it's like my heart is getting hard."

Let me see if I have this straight.

Dan has never heard of The Ultimate Warrior, Macho Man Savage, or Rowdy Roddy Piper. He never saw Hulk Hogan wrestle, but he knows that Superfly Snuka's move was a jump from the top rope?

Who are you crapping?

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

Brendan Mcafrey just called him out as being full of sh*t, he acts like he had no idea who hulk Hogan was while growing up...that is impossible...everyone knew Hogan...you know he's just trying to get under peoples skin cause he says " I only knew Hulk Hogan from Rocky III" and then claimed he didn't know who macho man was, despite Randy Savage being the face of Slim Jims for like 10 years

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GOB: "My God, what is this feeling?"
Michael: "Could it be love?"
GOB: "I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's... it's like my heart is getting hard."

The music from the gay bar in the Police Academy movies.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

We play that frequently when people come back in to our room from breaks

It's like you work in a friggin' cartoon or something ...

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Our trading room is a closed door situation with 10 guys, all with insanely juvenile sensibilities and frequent down (waiting for phone to ring) time

I think it was in the second hour today and they were taking calls about Cubs vs Mets discussion.

A caller quoted the famous phrase; "It's widely believed that good pitching will always beat out good hitting..."

Bernstein's response was that he's never heard that before.

Really? I hear that on every station at least a dozen times every season!

Hey, Bernsie - WYC?!?!

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"This is Chicago, my friend. Anything can happen."

The due process aspects of the criminal justice system.

College co-ed sex.

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DRINK BƎTTƎR. @theRIPH

How to shovel a fucking driveway or sidewalk.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

What is this from?

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."