He loves to do them. We need one for the end of the Cubs.

Goff: You know what this Cubs season was like?

Spiegel: What was it like, Jason?

Goff: It's like when you're throwing a party at the crib. Ya got your black friends over. Ya got your white friends over. Ya got your Mexican friends over. Then all of a sudden the hot Puerto Rican girl down the hall hears the party goin' on and asks if she can come in. Now, you want to get with her, but your girl is with you so you can't make it obvious. Everyone is havin' a good time. Everyone is gettin' there drink on. The vibe is good. Then all of a sudden, your Mexican friend, Julio, pulls out his gun and shoots you in the head and you are dead. That's what this Cubs season was like.

Spiegel: I'm afraid of you, Jason.

How many times can you reach an all-time low? Log off for a few months, BD.

_________________
-- source

Fixed

_________________

Thread title change request: 10/22: Chicago does not need another Beardown thread

_________________
Hawaii (fuck) You

What the fuck is your problem?

Stop hating.

I come here for the entertainment, from the likes of you, Don, JORR, CH, etc. Beardown swings and misses more than Mark Reynolds.

_________________
-- source

He should be if he's not already.

_________________
Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

they cant believe all the negativity of the fans . "See this is how it always happens". That's because they're right you dumbfucks.

_________________
Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Daniel Murphy will be the Jeff Blauser for the White Sox going forward ...

_________________
Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

I went Dan Patrick today. It seems safer. I am already hurting from the Cubs losses, so why take more blows from fats and giggles?

_________________
Hawaii (fuck) You

Are we sure Goff didn't actually log in as Beardown?

_________________
You can't see me because of internet.

The landowner effectively owns part shares in millions of part-time slaves called, "taxpayers." -Roy L
A Personal Relationship with Jesus?

Im not sure about sports radio, but if this board is a good barometer, they dont seem too negative to me

Everyone on Twitter Bryan.

_________________
Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Goff: I don't want to be too down. You know what next April is gonna be like?

Spiegel: No. I'm still scared.

Goff: I'm gonna tell you anyway, mother fucker!!!

Spiegel: Ok.

Goff: So, you come back from the dead. Julio apologizes for shooting you in the head. You say, "That's OK Julio, I forgive you. You're still my boy.". You bang the hot Puerto Rican girl down the hall. You throw another party at the crib. Only this time, you make sure Julio doesn't bring his gun. Everybody chillin'. Everybody drinking. Everybody havin' a good time. That's what next April is gonna be like for Cubs fans.

Spiegel: Wait. Why would you be so quick to forgive Julio after he murdered you?

Goff: You are one dumb ass mother fucker!!!! Everybody else got the analogy except you.

The sad thing is I could believe Goff said what Beardown typed.

Fixed

_________________

Spiegel: But I mean wouldn't you at least be curious to know why Julio murdered you? You wouldn't even ask him? You would just forgive him like that and move on to another party at "The Crib"? I just don't get it. Most people wouldn't do that. By the way, how the hell did you come back from the dead? Most people can't do that either. I'm very confused.

Goff: I'm done. Ladies and gentlemen, my partner is a dumb ass.

You forgot the part where Spiegel asks if Julio was down by the schoolyard.

_________________

Julio?

_________________
Hawaii (fuck) You

probably cooks a mean breakfast

_________________

this almost made the unfunny beardown thread worth it

I changed the title of this thread!!!!

I thought it would be cool if everybody could come up with Jason Goff analogies play writes!!!!! This could be fun.

Goff: Fuck you, cracker!!!!!

Beardown: Get a sense of humor.

Anyway, I just cracked my first beer. I'll have another one later. I'm best after 3 beers. So everybody give one a shot. Or sit back and enjoy everybody else!!!!! Let's do this!!!!!

Best one will be voted on and that person will win a prize. Not from me. But somebody here can give somebody a prize.

Goff: Hey Spiegel, you know what this Bulls season is gonna be like?

Spiegel: I'm very afraid, but go ahead anyway.

Goff: It's like when you're at the club. Fine ass bitches everywhere. Ordering $200 bottles of champaign even though you know you can't afford it. But you want to impress those ladies so that's what you do. So you're drinking. Having a good time. Ya got your white friends...

Spiegel: I know. I know. Ya also got your black friends and your Mexican friends, right?

Goff: You son of a bitch!!!! Yes, as a matter of fact. Anyway, next thing you know one of the hot bitches is drunk enough and she agrees to go home with you. That's like the Bulls making the Eastern conference finals. Then, in the morning, she tells you she has AIDS and you didn't use a condom. So you know your gonna suffer and die a horrible death. That's like the Bulls losing to Lebron in the Eastern Confrence Finals. That's what this Bulls season is gonna be like.

Spiegel: Well, at least fuckin' Julio didn't shoot you this time. Jason, can you stop with the analogies, please?

Goff: You mother fuckin' son of...

Spiegel: We'll be back.

It's best to read the Goff parts in his fake playa voice. You know where the pitch gets lower and you can imagine he bedecks his face with what he falsely believes is a look of cool confidence. Best believe.

_________________
Back off, Warchild. Seriously.